2014 New Year's Resolutions

Let me just say right off the bat that this is going to be a huge year. Epic. Awesome. I can just feel it. Maybe I'm setting your expectations too high, but it is just a fact that a lot of stuff is going to happen this year.  Maybe I should call this 2014 New Year's Facts because they ARE going to happen.

1. Fact: I am going to turn 40. Resolution: I am going to do it gracefully, and feel happy about it.

2. Fact: We are adding a second story to our house. Resolution: We are going to do it with minimum conflict as a couple, and end up with a house that we are both happy with.

3. Fact: I am going to leave my job. Resolution: I am going to do this sooner rather than later in the year.

4. Fact: I have a novel. Resolution: I am going to edit it, and possibly let someone read it. I *might* even write another novel, but probably not until November.

In light of these heavy duty life decision type resolutions, I am going to go easier on myself on lower key resolutions.

5. I will try team penning.

6. I will read at least 5 books.

7. I will buy at least one album released in 2014 and two albums released in 2013. (This is easy, as I already know what I want to get)

8. Run 304 miles. This is just about 5.8 miles a week, or under 2 runs a week. This is less than I usually run. But if I run at least 304 miles, I will have recorded 2000 miles of running since I started four years ago.

Okay, I am going to marinate on these for a few hours. I might come back and edit, or I might not. Either way, have a safe and happy New Years!

And That's All, Folks

That last post was the last one lingering in the drafts folder. That means all new content will be current and exciting and, well, new. Assuming that I can think of anything new and interesting to post and then also sit down and type it within a reasonable amount of time.

Anyway, it's that time of the year. The time of year for reviewing my 2013 New Year's Resolutions before I make my new ones. Here's a link. Here are the 2013 resolutions:

1. Obtain and maintain a sour dough starter: Done. It's in the fridge, still alive but barely used. I ended up eating a lot less bread this year.

2. Take a sewing class: Did not happen. I used my sewing machine a couple of times and had the same thought I always do: "I should really take a class."

3. Try Pilates: Did not happen. Cannot seem to make this happen. Found a good exercise class regardless.

4. Read one book per month: I read 4 George RR Martin novels and "Far From the Tree" by Andrew Solomon, so I feel like those should all count for double. I read a Joan Didion novel (possibly two) and "Mating in Captivity", which I highly recommend to anyone who has ever been in a relationship. I read "Searching for Dave Chappelle", but since that's a Kindle single, I am not sure it counts. It was good though. I feel like I should get partial credit for this one.

5. Buy at least 5 new albums: I bought "The Hound Chronicles/Hot Garden Stomp", The Mountain Goats. "Synchronicity", The Police. The Very Best of Daryl Hall & John Oates, "Cold Fact", Rodriguez. "Santigold", Santigold. "Rogue's Gallery", Various. While I technically purchased more than 5 albums which are new to me, none of them were released in 2013, and some of them are almost older than me. I do feel like I should get credit for this one, but for the technical completion, I am giving myself enough credit to complete the credit from the one above. One total point across these two categories.

6. Camp at least once: I accompanied my then-3rd grader on his camping trip to Gold Country last spring. This was not the back-country adventure I may have hoped for, but there was a tent and sleeping bag, s'mores, walking in the dark to brush my teeth, etc. Plus, there was no alcohol allowed, so I feel like that made it more difficult than a regular camp-out at the state park. Done.

7. See Big Sur: Did not happen. Is it possible that I could do this by Tuesday? I do not have plans this weekend. (Looking into this)

8. Finish my novel about Mars: Did not happen. I did write a different novel though. Working title is Upstate, and while it is not polished, it certainly is far more complete than the Mars novel. I also understand now why I did not finish the Mars novel. In the final tally, I think finishing a totally different novel is more impressive than finishing one I started the year before. Therefore, I am giving myself credit for having accomplished something here.

9. Oh, and I will try blogging a bit more: Done. I posted 55 times (including this post) compared to just 13 times in 2012 and 15 times in 2011.

The final score is 5-4 on resolutions for 2013. Come back soon for the 2014 resolutions, which will be more specific, more realistic and more awesome that 2013.

From the Drafts Folder: "Back to Politics: IL-5", Date Unknown

I heard last week that Tom Geoghegan was considering a run for Rahm Emanuel's seat

Commentary on "The Lean-In Post"

Yes, you are not crazy. The Lean In Post was blank. That's because I thought I had a lot to say about it, and then after I thought about it, I decided I did not have a lot to say about it. And then the whole idea of Leaning In just melted away. From my mind. From pop culture. I just did not care. And I did not want to dignify Sheryl Sandberg with any of my intellectual property dedicated to her. I just do not care. And that's coming from someone who LEANS THE FUCK IN. Go away, Sheryl. Good bye.

From the Drafts Folder: "The Lean In Post", July 7, 2013

Apologies

Wow, sorry, I did not realize that it is already Thursday. I totally meant to blog this week to keep up my feverish pace that I set at the beginning at the month. But the days just got away from me. It's been a "crazy" week and the scare quotes ARE intended to suggest that it was only crazy in a relative sense. I.e. nothing actually diagnosable as mental illness occurred. Maybe "mental episodes" is a better characterization of my week. The rest of it was just regular old "crazy" middle-class busy-ness.

My pace has tapered because I have only two draft emails left in my draft folder, meaning I need to either draft some stuff and let it stew, or actually create new content. But at this point, December 19, those are the same thing. I am not going to dodge and pretend like this shambles of a post is "new content". I will post one of the two remaining posts, and then I might take a hiatus to work on my New Year's resolutions. And I will review my 2013 resolutions. So that's four posts right there. And I have 12 days left. Okay, let me get my butt in gear here.

Gift Recommendation: Jazz Department

I have a confession: If jazz music were men, I would be married to Dave Brubeck's album Time Out. That sounds really weird, doesn't it? Here's my thinking. I've listened to a substantial amount of jazz, working at a radio station, going to many shows featuring for-real Chicago jazz musicians when I lived there. I worked at a jazz record store for a while in college. The whole time, I only sort of liked it. Mainly, I *appreciated* it. Organ jazz was really the only stuff that caught my attention: Jimmy McGriff, Jimmy Smith, "Groove" Holmes. I would put their albums on when I worked at the record store. Never bought the records, though. 

Time Out, on the other hand, I fell in love with. I still listen to that album on repeat on a Sunday morning and just love it. I do not listen to any other jazz album. I have an Ornette Coleman album on my iPod, but I rarely listen to it. If you do not own this album, buy it now, and then buy a copy for the person you love.

In the comments, tell me the one album you adore in a genre you otherwise do not care about. Thank you!

From the Drafts Folder: "2011 New Year's Resolutions" January 2011

It's that time of the year again. But first let's revisit the 2010 resolutions:

1. Run the Oakland half-marathon March 28, 2010. Done. Ran it in 2:07. Running it again this year and would LOVE for any of my readers to join me. In fact, I ran 543 miles in 2010, and I'm going to try to beat that this year. I burned over 50,000 calories doing it, and I shudder to think how much weight I would have gained if I hadn't been running.

2. Read one new book a month. I don't think I accomplished this, largely because inherent in the resolution is an understanding that I would finish the books I started, and I left a lot of dead soldiers on the bedside table.

3. One "date" each month with each guy in this house. No idea. I probably accomplished this but didn't keep accurate data, so who knows. Some "dates" definitely entailed someone cleaning the kitchen while someone else played Legos alone in his room, and no, I don't mean my husband doing either one.

4. 100% of LMP employees in Unit Based Teams, 75% of UBTs are high-performing teams by the end of 2010. We hit 90% of LMP employees in UBTs. About 35% of our teams were deemed "high performing" using our regional assessment tool, but then a new assessment tool was adopted nationally and I don't know how are teams are doing. I feel good about all of this, even if you don't know what it means.

5. Work "slap in the face" into my vernacular. Forgot to do this. Which is such a slap in the face to the phrase "slap in the face" that I feel I really accomplished something by not using it.

Okay, 2011.

A Facebook Idea, Implemented

A few months ago, I saw a post on Facebook for these things called Blessings Bags (posted by a woman I went to high school with who is very involved now with her church). The bags were Ziploc gallon bags with hotel shampoos and soaps and a granola bar and a few other items, and they were meant to be given to panhandlers. Her church assembled them from donations. I've heard of this being done by Girl Scout troops, too.

We have a lot of panhandlers in Oakland, and there has been a huge increase since the Occupy Movement. They are typically punk white dudes who have decent bikes and a dog and they are reading paperback books while they hold up an "Anything Helps" sign. They used to annoy me but now I just figure they have deeper issues than I understand, and I accept their existence in the world. My kids, on the other hand, are always perturbed that I will not give money to panhandlers, and are not persuaded by my explanation that we donate to the county food bank and these folks can get stuff there.

After Thanksgiving, I took the kids to Target and told them to pick out some things in the Travel Size section that they thought a homeless person might need to feel cleaner and happier. They picked out toothbrushes and paste, handi-wipes, chapstick, sunscreen, moisturizer, and I picked out deoderant and non-alcoholic mouthwash. I also grabbed a package of tampons to make a woman's supply kit.

We assembled them that afternoon, but had not handed any out. All week, we have been driving past a guy near their school who has the sign I described above, and the kids have been asking to help him. The kits were in the way-back! This morning I remembered to bring them up front, and when we saw the guy, I rolled down my window. He saw me and reached over to grab the goodie bag. He yelled, "Thanks!" in a really happy-surprised way. I could not see him (I had a green light and needed to keep driving) but they kids went nuts, "Mom! He was happy! He said thanks!" They were clapping and laughing. I felt a bit giddy too. We all agreed that it felt really good to give something nice to someone.*

*A concept I have been trying to impart for 10 years without success.

Anyway, I wanted to share it, to thank Del Kramer, and hopefully to give you an idea for who to get your kids thinking about little acts of kindness and giving. I think they are now probably going to want to drive around giving out "survival bags" as they now call them. 

From the Drafts Folder: "This Almost Certainly Will Not Interest You", March 7, 2011

The public sector unions' protest in Wisconsin has, not surprisingly, given me a lot to think about. I've been working with unions since 1997, and most of those years have been depressing. Not because unions weren't making strong economic or political gains for their members, but because their market share was shriveling. Today, only 6.9% of the private sector is unionized. The public sector helps boost the unionized market density to around 13%, but the power of unions is, at this point, nostalgic and political. The Wisconsin battles are unusual in that they are focussed on the rights of unions (collective bargaining, dues collection) as opposed to individual rights or political interests. In fact, the unions in Wisconsin have largely acceded to the Republican budget cuts; they firmly recognize that the governor is trying to deal the fatal blow. If Walker can win in Wisconsin, the Republicans can win anywhere.

But what if the unions win? What then? They aren't about to regain market share at this point. At its height, the American labor movement included more than 30% of the workforce; that height is unimaginable today. We've lost those jobs completely. Good-bye, manufacturing sector. And even if they do win in WI, they are saddled with a whole set of responsibilities which inhibit their ability to deal with industrial issues in the represented workforce.

Let me back up and talk a little about the different components of what a union offers its members. Via their union, members get (1) political power, via campaign contributions, access to politicians and voter turnout machines that are top notch; (2) legal service, via the grievance and arbitration process. Individual workers who are disciplined and groups of workers deprived of contractual rights have representation for their issues. This is called representational services. Then there's (3) industrial service, where unions advocate for industrial services and standards. This springs in some part from a "craft" or "trade" mentality, where the labor market understands that union labor is superior, because of its training and safety standards. The member gets superior training and the union advocates for those individuals to get the work over non-union employees. Unions also offer (4) collective bargaining/negotiations service, wherein the union bargains for higher wages and benefits than are available elsewhere.

Each of these services is emphasized differently within each union, and each is demonized by the enemies of unions. In turn, the union may be viewed as "the machine", the reason that the jerk comes back to work, the reason people are excluded from certain jobs and budget-busters. I'm not really going to deal with those assumptions. I just raised those frameworks to ask, "If the unions in Wisconsin win, what do they offer their members, AND THE GENERAL PUBLIC?"

I have two ideas. In Ohio, public sector bargaining rights have been rolled back to a point where the unions can only negotiate about wages and benefits. However, what if the opposite were true, and unions had to negotiate about everything? Literally, what if the unions were required to bargain about all the problems faced by their employers? This is antithetical to most ideas about bargaining, but I think that *not* asking unions to think constructively about the future is one of the reasons that they have no incentive to bargain over anything but their share of the pie.

Second, I do think that the basic structure of unions is flawed in a way that inhibits their ability to effectively incorporate all four of their service orientations. Presently, most unions assign staff based on the employer, and the union representative is expected to be political organizer, legal advocate, journey level trainer and contract negotiator. This is absurd. No one can do all of these. In addition to the problem of having the right skills mix, individual staff get overly involved in a particular workplace, and become myopic. The problems of those employees become all that the union representative, and their creativity and objectivity fall into disuse.

I think that a union should staff in the following way. There should be advocates handling grievances; political organizers doing issues organizing and voter turnout; career counselors and trainers for industrial skill development; and trained negotiators. I think that there should also be healthcare and retirement benefit counselors who understand union health and retirement plans and can help workers navigate those, as well as advise negotiators about issues that need to be tackled. These folks would work as a team, providing high quality services from their area of expertise.

Why? Unions need to make the case that their battle is worth winning.

From the Drafts Folder: "Random Thoughts", June 4, 2010

I don't have the mental wherewithal to blog about anything tonight. I am hungry. I made mango sorbet but I haven't even tried it, so maybe I'll go do that. I trie

From the Drafts Folder: "Read This", October 29, 2009

Article about my uncle. Read it.



December 10, 2013 Comment: This post had a dead link on it, which is too bad, because it linked to a story about my uncle and his company Whirlwind USA, an audio interface and musicians' electrical equipment company. Whirlwind is located in Rochester, New York, which was recently "hailed" as the fifth poorest city in the country. Despite its hard times, or maybe because of it, my uncle Mike has kept the company there, including his manufacturing plant. Most of his employees have been with him since around the time I was born. In 2008, he was taking an economic hit on par with the rest of the country. But instead of closing his doors, he called his whole staff together and brainstormed ways to keep open. They decided to bring back a series of lower price guitar pedals that had been the staple of their catalog when they opened and keep them inexpensive and sell them as "classic". Mike got a federal stimulus grant that helped underwrite his medical insurance costs so he would not have to eliminate benefits. The article was written in 2009, and it hailed Whirlwind for sticking it out through the recession, saving jobs and reintroducing a lower cost but well-regarded piece of musician's equipment, in partnership with the government.

Anyway, dead link. But now you know if you did not already. That is your feel-good post-Recession story of the day.

Update on the Drafts Folder Advent-ukkah Event

Okay, I had promised you guys that I would post all of the drafts in my drafts folder, and so far, I have been working in order from the oldest to the newest. But I have a confession to make. I just skipped 3 posts which were less than one sentence in length and clearly were the result of some technical error, because they cut off mid-sentence. Two of them were the same. Those were just pointing out that Tom Frank had a column with the Washington Post. Since he is no longer a columnist with them, it did not seem like pertinent information. The other one was congratulating Amy Poehler on the birth of her first child, as an excuse to direct readers to her amazing rap performance when Sarah Palin was a guest on Saturday Night Live.

So now that you have that vital information in hand, I am going to go-ahead and delete them from the drafts folder.

Otherwise, how's it going out there? Are you guys still having fun with this? Wish I would just stop it? Hope that I am drafting more as we speak? Comments please!

From the Drafts Folder: "More Kwips" December 2008

According to L, the reasons that little boys should get a new toy every day are:

1. It's healthy for the boy
2. It's good exercise for the mommy to go get the toy

From the Drafts Folder: "Totally Not Your Fault, Steve" May 29, 2008

Sorry to step back into the Skill Crane mystery, but I think I was probably engaging in a common practice of mine at the time (when I burst into tears about the Skill Crane and the not-dead high school boy), which was pretextual crying. Pretty much no one wanted to listen to me cry about my actual problem (a not-very-good boyfriend*) so I think I might have sometimes cried for other alleged reasons, just to get someone to listen to me cry, even if I couldn't divulge the topic. I am only guessing here, since the Skill Crane commenter was one of only two people** in the world who would actually listen to me cry about that person without wanting secretly to have me put away. I married the other person who listened to all that blubbering. For all I know, both RadioBoy and Mr. Scobie both thought I was certifiable at the time, but are decent blokes, and look, they now read my blog. So it all turned out okay for everyone in the end.

*Not good as a boyfriend, that is. He's a decent human being, in his own way. However, several friends once offered me money to "dump the chump", about 3 years before we actually stayed broken up for good.


** More than two people listened to that crap, by the way. But most of my other friends let it be known pretty clearly that I was insane. (Am insane?)

Five other things to do before you are 18

I think the reason that I abandoned that blog post back in 2008 is because I could not think of five other things that must be done by the time you are 18. It sounds like a challenge an 18 year old would come up with, not knowing that basically everything is better if you do it after you are 18. The only exception that I can think of, and this is not mandatory:

2. Commit any crimes for which you would not be charged as an adult and hope that your juvenile record is sufficiently sealed.

Okay, three more to go.

3. Have the good fortune to be born into a reasonably well-off family.

This is a must do, so that you can do all the other things you should do before you are 18, like leave your town, your state or the country for non-immigration reasons, ski, visit a nice beach, go to Disneyland/world.

4. Get dumped. In fact, I think it's a good idea to get your heart broken a few times early on so you can get the hang of it.

5. cr7hjkl;

That last one was what my 7 year old typed when I asked him what he wanted to do before he was 18. Actually, he said, "I want to play Minecraft! Get off the computer!" So there you are. Youth is wasted on the young.

From the Drafts Folder: "Tryna Be Back" February 24, 2008

TK tagged me, so that seems like a good way to get back on the stick around here.TK set the bar pretty high with some really good ideas, so I won't promise any wisdom here I can't deliver. First, the rules:

1. Post these rules before presenting your list.
2. List 6 actions or achievements you think every person should accomplish before turning 18.
3. There are no conditions on what can be included on the list.
4. At the end of your blog, choose 6 people to get tagged and list their names.
5. People who are tagged write their own blog entry with their 6 suggestions.
6. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged.

1. Get kicked out of something, but not school - I was passively excluded from Girl Scouts because I wouldn't wear a uniform to my Junior Flying Up ceremony

From the Drafts Folder: "Another One Bites the Dust" September 24, 2007

Joining the ranks of Tammy Faye and Leona, Marcel Marceau passed away this weekend. My reaction?

Liam also was saddened by the news:

Commentary on Today's From the Drafts Folder

Yup, that's it, folks.

It's possible that I was going to report that Jed had a piece or two in the Whitney Biennial. But who knows? Why? Because my cousins and their spouses are so wildly awesome and interesting that it could have been like ten other interesting things that they were doing. Like what?

In addition to making an adorbs baby in 2012, my cousin Kate had a show at the Hammer Museum. I was going to post some other links about her, but frankly, you should just do the Google on Kate Costello and see her beautiful stuff for yourself.

Jed was the co-producer of the adorable baby, and had a show at the deCordova and lots of other places. Google Jedediah Caesar or check out his exhibit at the Saatchi Gallery.

Meanwhile, Kate's sister Zoe and her husband Juniper are tearing up Kickstarter with a campaign for their next performance work, a dance and visual art installation.

And those are just a couple of my awesome cousins.

From the Drafts Folder: "Other Cousins in the News", September 24, 2007

Jed, aka Uncle Jeddy, (cousin by marriage)

Intro to From the Draft Folder

The preceding blog post is the first in a 15-part series of blog posts in the month of December that I am posting as a quasi-Advent gift to my readers. To make it most Advent-ish, I will also post new content - at least nine new posts - so that it reaches the requisite number of days for Advent.

A friend recently noted that Advent has become the WASP Hanukkah, with grandparents using it as reason to give little gifts all month long, rather than just the liturgical calendar of the three weeks leading up to Christmas. He's right; Dooley noted. That said, I am going to post these drafts anyway, unedited. The first one probably does not need editing. However, you will see later in the month why some of these never saw the light of day. Happy Ad-Hanuk-vent!

From the Draft Folder: "Lame Thoughts" Sept 26, 2006

Today I was driving home from Broccoli Montessori and I saw a bumper sticker that said, "My two favorite teams are Michigan and whoever's playing against Ohio State" andit occurred to me that, to be an anti-fan, i.e. someone who hates "your" team's rival, you actually have to want the team you hate to do moderately well. Which makes you a fan of the team you hate, if you think about it. A rivalry would die if your rival were never any good. Okay, maybe in the first year of their suckdom, you'd be all schadenfreude, and then the next year you'd be like, "Ron Zuck is such an idiot." But in year three, would you give a shit* anymore? You wouldn't paint your face to watch the other team get trounced, reliably, by 11 hits or 5 touchdowns, would you?

I've been thinking a lot about sports lately because my almost-three-year-old is now infected by the football bug, or as he says in his wierd St. Louis accent, "fitbull". He loves it. The only only good thing about it is that in a few years, I can have every Sunday afternoon to myself for a few months at a time.

Finally, and this is totally unrelated, you NEED to watch The Wire, if you are not already doing so. The first two seasons are on DVD, and the third is coming soon. The fourth season is three eps in, and you can watch the first three episodes back to back on Friday night at 8 on HBO. I might watch them again just because I am addicted to this show. I may remind you to watch it every day this week, or even until all my readers cry UNCLE and say, yes, they've watched it.

And another finally: I have been occasionally updating Bay Area Hiking Mamas, for all of you who are interested, but then stopped bothering checking.

*Apologies to my mother-in-law, who thinks I swear too much on my blog, and probably in my life.

My, How Time Flies

I just checked my blog, possibly looking to see if anyone has posted anything lately, and was surprised to see that my post acknowledging the great epistolarian Nelson Marans was written on October 15. I literally cannot believe that seven weeks have passed so quickly when it feels, some days, like time just crawls forward. Some days, I am in meetings so boring that I *wish* I could discover a Marans letter. It would truly be the high point of my day.

In the time since I last posted, I have been busy though. I have concocted a legitimate business proposal for which I am courting a serious investor (serious investor = my husband). I have written a rough draft of my first novel. I have maintained a sour dough starter per my New Year's resolution for 337 days, so it seems reasonable that it will last the entire year. I'm feelin' good. I'm at the top of my game.

You want to hear about the novel? Of course you do. Let me first say that I did it under the auspices of National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo, an annual event where participants are expected to write 50,000 words in order to "win" the distinction of having written a novel. It's all based on an honor system, and there are no prizes. Some people, let's call them "hipsters", are skeptical of this method of creating a novel. Here are their arguments: (1) it's not "art" to do it racing against a clock; (2) there are a LOT of fan fiction scifi* jugbu** types involved (3) it's corny to participate in any activity that involves other people. At least, I think those are the arguments. Anyway, I have decided I will weigh their arguments more seriously once they provide me with 50,000 words of a rough draft of a novel.

I am actually not going to say a lot about my novel. It's "realistic fiction". (I don't know what is up with me and quotation marks today). It is not fan fiction or science fiction.  I titled it "Upstate" until I found out that there is another novel with that name, which is a so-called "urban romance" (OHMyGOD stop me from putting quotes around another thing!). My novel is nowhere near as interesting as the story about Antonio and the letters he writes his girl from prison. But whatever, mine is an okay story. You cannot read it yet, though. I am going to actually sit down and do a serious revision and probably write another 20,000 words before this baby sees the light of day. At that point, I will start tweeting it line by line. Kidding.

With 27 days left until New Year's Eve, I will go ahead and make this resolution: I will revise this novel and show it to at least some of you. Okay, how's that? Aiming high for 2014.


* science fiction
* juggling/bisexual union: a reference to the fact that in our college, there was a 100% overlapping Venn diagram of the members of the juggling club and the University of Chicago Bisexual Union, and all of them were very hirsute and very sketchy.

Still going strong

Long time readers, take heart. Nelson Marans, long a regular object of my affection in this blog, is back and still writing letters to the NY Times. I haven't seen his name since October 25, 2009, when he got a letter published in the magazine but there he is, live and writing in to the Science Times to complain about cheating. This letter is so obscure, boring and scolding, the NYT didn't even publish it online. So I'm retyping it for you here.

What Cheating Says About Us
To the Editor: Re "Cheating's Surprising Thrill" (Oct. 8): Finding a thrill and even satisfaction after cheating is a sad commentary on our present culture. While those my age (nearly 90) would consider cheating close to a criminal act, the practice, now widely prevalent, is almost accepted as normal. It would have been interesting to see the same experiments conducted on people my age. Cheating and the pleasure derived from it mark a generation that has lost its moral anchor.
Nelson Marans
Silver Springs, MD

I'm a little worried that someone has created a Nelson Marans app that allows you to generate a letter-to-the-editor on any topic, because this is almost too spot-on. Glad to have him back, though.

Crying It Out - Homework Edition

A few days ago, I posted a Facebook status update about "Ferberizing" the kids on homework and got dozens of thumbs-up. I thought I would expound a bit here.

A little background: there's a lot of drama in our house around getting homework done. The kids do it at the dining room table, and it doesn't really matter what time of day they do it, they always want lots of hand-holding and tear-drying. At Back to School Night, my older son's teacher recommended the book Ending the Homework Hassle, and a week later, I checked it out of the library.

For kids who are not actually struggling academically, or who are not truly difficult cases, you only need to read one chapter, or even this summary of the main chapter. There are three rules:

The first rule applies to the kids. They should do their homework in their rooms or in another space away from the main part of the house designated for their work. They can ask parents a question but if the answer requires more than a clarifying example or the explanation of the wording in the directions, the parents should tell the child to ask the teacher the next day.

The second rule applies to the parents.  Chillax, parents.

The last rule means that rather than giving a start time, parents should give a deadline, just like we would have at work. After 8, kids should transition to bed time or have a little family time. If they are not done, they can figure out for themselves when to finish it. Maybe the next morning or the next day. In any case, it should not be an endless battle.

These rules are intended to teach self-reliance and time management. If your kid falls behind, it's probably because they are struggling with the material, and you were masking those difficulties by doing their work for them.

So how's it going, after a week in our house? I will admit the drama has been cut dramatically. There's no more arguing or begging, threats, warnings, plea bargaining, etc. On the other hand, it's not clear that a lot of homework is getting done either. At least one set of math worksheets sits untouched, and no typing or piano practice has happened. I emailed the fourth grade teacher who recommended the book and he was totally cool with that. He said he will give Liam a completion rate next month to let him know how much he's actually doing. So I feel reassured that we are on the same page with respect to the learning skills (time management, project planning, as opposed to the actual content of the work), but it is a little hard to let go.  Just as in the early years, the tears quickly gave way to sophisticated plotting, but I do think Ferberizing the homework is making my life easier. I will try to update you again in a month....

And yes, that is an Alabama license plate.

Too Lazy to Freecycle

Rubber Bands (N. Berkeley)
-----------------------------------------------
We have quiet a bit of rubber bands accumulated from newspapers etc. Anybody needs 
them?

I'm Sure This Will End Well

From BPN today:

My name is Nata, I'm 20 and I grew up in Jerusalem.

I will be in Berkeley until spring and am looking for a family with kids and a spot on their lawn to park my minibus converted into a room! All I'd need is to use the facilities in your house (bathroom, kitchen) and in exchange I can babysit your kids for several hours a week. I come from a very big family and have lots of experience in nannying, so if this sounds like an idea that could work in your house please contact me, I think it could be really awesome!! 

I am currently in Israel for my brother's wedding and will be back only on October 8th so just write me an email or send me your phone number if you're interested!

Greatest BPN of all time? Or just this century?

100% of the credit for catching this one goes to my friend David.

About big-diameter poop?
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Some of our family members have big-diameter poop.   Big poop clogs toilets.

The best toilet we've found, so far, is American Standard Champion 4.   American Standard
advertises that their Champion 4 will flush golf balls, but some poop has bigger diameter
than golf balls.

Can anyone recommend a toilet that will flush big-diameter poop the first time?

Expert with a plumbing snake!!!

Whale Tale (sorry)

There was a crowd of people massing around the middle of the strand that is Stinson Beach, far more than you usually see at Stinson, but an especially large group for a Monday morning and never this size on the Seadrift side of the beach. News had traveled quickly along the beach that there was a whale in the water, so the kids and dads took off running towards the crowd.

I had inconveniently just put bacon in a pan and had an egg ready to cook. I ran from the kitchen to the dunes twice before deciding to eat my damn breakfast. I couldn't sit down to do it though. I threw the egg on some toast, and wrapped the bacon in a paper towel, checking to see that the stove was off (twice, because I was so excited) before bolting out the door. I jogged a bit while I ate but as soon as I could, I took off running. Within a half mile - or halfway to the whale - I caught up with my friend Lisa and walked with her. From there, you could see a massive fin jutting out of the water and not much else. There were rescue vehicles and caution tape by now, and about 100-150 people. It was a parade atmosphere. Everyone was excited and anxious and repeating whatever they had heard from the fireman and park ranger who were working the line, telling everyone to move back. They didn't know much.

The whale looked like it was moving its tail, but if you watched it all closely enough if seemed equally likely that the movement was coordinated by the waves rolling in. The whale was in 3 feet of water, and the waves were about 2-3 feet tall. The Marine Mammal Center arrived around the same time I did but spent what seemed like an interminable amount of time discussing the whale with each other, rather than rescuing the whale, which is what the crowd wanted. I don't know how we thought these four people in a Toyota 4 Runner were going to rescue a whale. I suspect most people hoped, as I did, that the whole crowd would be enlisted to push the mammal back out to sea. Big Miracle on Stinson Beach.  Finally, Dr. Shawn Johnson, head of the MMC veterinary team, waded into the water and determined that the whale had died. I suppose that had been obvious to him from the shore, which is why there hadn't been undue haste to jump in the path of a 10 ton animal being propelled by the surf. Dr. Johnson hosted a quick "lecture" (as the fireman called it) to tell us that this was a juvenile fin whale, that it had died and that they would be doing a necropsy once the tide had receded.

Not having been assigned the volunteer assignments we all wanted, many of us wandered home. Our kids pulled on some wet suits and hit the beach.

After lunch, I headed back to the whale to see if the necropsy had begun. The tide hadn't gone out far enough, and efforts to bring the whale further up the beach were impaired by the sheer size of the whale. A couple of people have asked me, "why didn't they haul it back out into the ocean?" and looking at this whale, I would have to say, "with what?" They tried to pull it up the beach with a bulldozer and all it did was snap the rope and abrade the whale's tail.

That's a view of the whale's back, or top, side. He's lying on his right side. He was 42 feet long, and a really beautiful dark, unblemished gray. Here's his underside.

This was taken around 2:00 pm. The necropsy started about an hour later, when scientists began sharpening knives and taking measurements. One thing that seemed apparent was that they didn't have a lot of practice doing this. It didn't seem ham-fisted or anything, but watching a scientist sharpen a machete is a painful thing to see. She clearly didn't do it very often, and it seemed possible that she was doing more to blunt it than sharpen it. Otherwise, they worked pretty deliberately and certainly not at a pace intended to please the crowd (which was appropriate, obviously). Anyhow, here are the necropsy photos, with a little commentary from me.

First cuts to the underside

shark bait

The excavator that Lonnie brought down from Pt. Reyes Station to dig a hole

A nice shot of the intestines

A view from the top

I think this last picture is one of the most amazing. That dark red area in the cross-section is pure muscle, the same size in diameter as a man's leg.

The whale itself was the best part. The worst part: some of the inane, science-ignorant conversations I overheard. In separate conversations, I had to explain to different, grown men that juvenile whales nurse from their mothers. To wit:

Me: they are going to see if there's milk in his stomach.
Dude: isn't it male?
Me: yes, he was still nursing.
Dude: Still nursing?! He was one!
Me: yes, it takes a lot of calories to gain 30 tons.
Dude: how do whales nurse? Do whales have tits?!
Me: mammary glands

I also overheard a ten year old boy ask where the whale's gills were.  I also lamented the older-lady volunteers who were using horrible body mechanics to lift massive slabs of blubber to the burial area. One lady lost her balance and actually fell into the whale's body cavity. I'm sure that memory won't leave her soon.

Here's a great video clip my son shot, capturing another excellent conversation I am having with a friend.


The second worst part was leaving the whale to go back to normal life where I am not an imaginary marine biologist. When I went back later that evening, the excavator was just finishing the job of filling a massive hole, and the exhausted looking researchers were getting back into their 4 Runner to head back to the Sausalito.

So how does this story end? The MMC has posted an update on its website with some information about how the whale might have died. I went so far as to see if the Berkeley Extension has a Marine Biology class I might take (they do). We visited the grave one last time on Friday, and saw viscera bubbling up from a hole within the storm fencing they put up. I hope I never see anything like this ever again.

This Week

It's only Tuesday, but I want to share what is making this week feel so great:

1. My kids came home from the East Coast. They seem more mellow and more mature. Evidence of that is the newfound ability to visit the bathroom alone (them, not me).

2. I diffused a kid's temper tantrum using patience and good humor rather than losing my shiznit and yelling.

3. A skin tag fell out exactly 24 hours after I googled it, which means I have found a new cure for skin tags!

4. I've sold 114 earthquake kits in my trial balloon/fundraiser. I am aiming to sell 200 and there's still 2 weeks until school starts.

5. Eric Holder is directing federal prosecutors not to seek mandatory minimum sentences, which is one of several measures to reduce incarceration rates.

6. I was only 6 days late in mailing my mother's birthday present. I believe the earlier record was . . . never.

7. I'm going on vacation on Friday.

Futures

I've been thinking a lot about my next career move, and I think I would really like to start my own business or somehow become my own boss. My informal market research tells me that my denim panties business does not have a natural untapped market (No pun intended?) so I've had to explore some other ideas. Here's what I'm thinking about doing:

1. Starting an earthquake supply business
2. Starting an art CSA
3. Intraporting* Taylor ham/pork roll from New Jersey to California
4. Becoming an arbitrator

* I made up this word. It's like importing a product but from one state or another.

I might try to do all of these at once. What do you think?

A Terribly Earnest Post

Today, I heard an interview with the photographer David Johnson and his wife Jacqueline Sue, who co-wrote a book about Johnson, called "A Dream Begun So Long Ago". Johnson was the first African-American student of Ansel Adams. You can hear the interview here, and see his photographs here.

There were many interesting things about his story, and his photos are as evocative as they sounded in the interview. But I was struck by a couple of things. First of all, Johnson did not remain a photographer throughout his life. He's in his 80s now, and his wife described how she never knew he had been a photographer until after an archivist sought out his work for a show of the Golden Era. In order to help him write his books, she read through his journals spanning back through his life, and learned all these things about him. He grew up in segregated Florida, fought in the Philippines in WWII, came to SF to study photography and eventually moved back to Florida. Now there is a documentary and book about his work, and his photos capture a particular viewpoint of SF at a particular time in history.

A few weeks ago, my father sent me a copy of a letter that his father had written to his mother a few days after V-J Day. My grandfather had returned from the North Africa (where he served in the Army) and was living temporarily at Camp Pinedale CA before returning home. In the letter, he tells of agreeing to go into San Francisco with a buddy of his. As it turns out, it is V-J Day. Here's what he writes:

We went to San Francisco and it was nothing new for me it was just like any other city. And for a Sunday and V-J Day it sure was quiet. For one thing all the "Beer-joints" were closed. But we did enjoy the ride up to 'Frisco and back. We went up on the streamliner and we did a little venture trip and Hitch-Hiked back. and saw some of this country. I guess I saw enough included the Pacific Ocean. So I guess I am all set to come home.

This account leaves me feeling so empty. I cannot imagine being in San Francisco on V-J Day and not feeling like I was living a moment of history. Why was it quiet? Where might there be celebration? And to see California in a day or two and be ready to be done with it? Baffling to me.

One of these men could describe, in 2013, the feeling of getting off the bus in SF in 1945 or 1948 and make me feel and understand how it was to live in that moment. And then, on top of it, he created beautiful pictures that verify his account of that moment. The other man not only couldn't describe what was happening in a very important historical moment at the time it was happening, he didn't even seem like he could experience that moment at all.

I spent a lot of the rest of the day thinking about this contrast, and how clarifying it was for me about who I want to be. I want to experience moments, create them, describe them. Leave a record so that my children can look back on it and understand what it meant to be in that moment, and cause them to think on their own moments, and cause them to want to impact history somehow.

Thoughts on Trayvon Martin

This post has nothing to do with Trayvon Martin, actually. I don't have anything new to contribute to the dialogue about the George Zimmerman trial. It was a crime, and it's a shame. I tend to respect juries, who must reach a conclusion based on the facts presented and the laws in place. I am not familiar enough with the trial to weigh in on the prosecution's failures. I wish that young man were not dead. Read David Simon's blog for the full treatment. (Thanks BD)

Trayvon Martin's death was similar to the death of Oscar Grant. It was therefore predictable that the Zimmerman verdict would open wounds in Oakland about racist profiling and unarmed Black men being killed. In fact, there are many communities across America where families have faced similar torment, and not been vindicated in the courts. It is widespread enough a problem to warrant a social justice movement of its own. What kind, though? A civil rights movement for youth, or a continuation of the march for justice for African Americans? An anti-gun movement? Or better yet, a new style of social justice movement that is complex and novel and seeks solutions to multi-variate problems like racism, gun violence, racial profiling and access to the rights of society for young people.

I think there are many people of good faith who all want this kind of movement. A lot of people in Oakland have marched and protested with a hope for that dialogue with the Oakland police and city leadership, as have people in dozens of other cities and towns.

But in Oakland, something weird happens. The marches and protests wind down, probably with a prayer or a well-known speaker. Parents and classmates and civic-minded folks hop back on BART or bus, or in their cars, and head home. And a group of people don masks and create havoc in downtown Oakland. No one knows if they are members of the peaceful protests who were waiting for confusion of the crowd, or who were angry that the protests did not have the immediate effect of reforming our broken police department or bringing Oscar Grant back to life or convicting George Zimmerman.  They might be a totally separate group; the people who mutated Occupy Wall Street into an crypto-anarchist attack on Oakland. Whoever they are, they then start smashing windows and destroying property and injuring bystanders.

For the past few days, I have been trying to make sense of the attacks in Oakland. I am not de facto offended by the destruction of property. I see value in some graffiti. I understand impulsive reactions based on anger and frustration. But it's clear that that is not what is happening in Oakland. Last night, two full days after the Zimmerman verdict, a rioter put a hammer into the head of a waiter at a local restaurant. That's not impulsive anger. That's terrorism. The destruction and attacks on Oakland are not part of the justice-for-Trayvon-and-Oscar movement. Can you imagine where the Civil Rights Movement or the Marriage Equality Movement would be today if every peaceful protest ended with a hammer in some working man's head? Holy crap. Talk about regressive.

And the Oakland police, for reasons I cannot do not know or understand, does little to stop this mayhem.

So what is to be done when one lives in a city where non-lethal acts of terror are being committed in the name of a social justice movement? Where the hands of the police seem tied?

Shall we arm ourselves and form neighborhood watch groups, like George Zimmerman? Sickening. And time-consuming.

Many folks are suggesting that Oaklanders come out in droves to the restaurants that were hit over the past three nights. I think that's a step in the right direction. There's safety in numbers, and lets our friends who own these small businesses and non-profits know that they have our support. There are a limited number of tables at Flora and Dogwood but I agree it's worth trying. Another way to support Oakland is to support Youth Radio, a non-profit that trains kids to record radio and other media stories. It's a great organization meant to give Oakland youth a platform for expressing themselves. I just donated. Anyone have any other ideas? These don't seem meaningful enough, but they seem better than smashing up a small business. . .

One Star Reviews: Where the Wild Things Are

When I decide to write one of these posts, I try to imagine books which are beloved beyond dispute. Above reproach. And is there a book as beloved as Where the Wild Things Are? I couldn't even fabricate an argument against in my mind. But some people can. It turns out that the negative reviews for Where the Wild Things Are are a study in humorlessness. These people must have take the world completely at face value, incapable of nuance or empathy or recalling their own childhoods. The ironic thing is, Max would probably understand them better than the rest of us do, since they are such monsters.

I'm having cutting-and-pasting problems with my computer, so I encourage you to click the link and not enjoy them for yourself.

One Star Review: Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone

There are 113 one star reviews of this new classic so I had some high expectations of crazy for this review. In fact, I was worried that it would be all Christians who thought the whole series was pagan and Satanic and book-burning-worthy. And maybe amid the reviews, that sentiment exists. At first glance, though, people seem to love the book and hate having to download the Kindle version from a special "Pottermore" site that causes them difficulty. They are emphatic that their one-star is NOT directed to the book. At least one person hates the *audiobook*. Then there are readers who give it one star but declare it "five star". How could these people be literate enough to read the book? Not sure.

Here's some other non-literate reviews that I think you will enjoy.

I borrowed this book because I hoped that it would be better than the film. It wasn't. I was particularly disturbed by the discription of the treatment Harry received from his aunt and uncle. It did not make sense. If they had wanted to keep him from the wizard's way, they would treated him well. I also was disturbed by the portrayal of non-wizards as Muggles, hinting that they were somehow less than human.

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What's wrong with you people? Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, J.R.R. Tolkien and hundreds of dead REAL authors would be rolling in their graves if they knew a "work" this horrid would be even considered for publishing. Let alone actually published and purchased with money! Harry Potter should be at the bottom of a paper shreader bin not on peoples shelves.

The book is amateaurish dribble. Full of flat, boring, and demensional characters as well pointless details, political correctness, and an unoriginal premise.

In short overrated Junk.

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BUT WAIT, what have we here?

Books authored by C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien are far better, and have a level of excellence that J.K. Rowling cannot get to. We see a different kind of magic in Rowling's works. Indeed, see where she has led us with her latest novels in the series. Don't be afraid to swim against the tide. Go ahead and refuse to read what is popular.

If you are a praying person and your prayers seem lifeless and powerless, take a close look at what you read and watch. Ephesians 5:15 "Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise."

Satan's plan has always been to reel us in with fun and thrills, and so he has done it again with Harry Potter. But he is clever. His final plan is not to bless us. And so the series deteriorates to a lower level with each new book. A word to the wise: Revelation 22:12-17.

And for all those who read this review may the blessing, love and power of Jesus fall upon you and fill your life. You are loved by Christ.

One-Star Reviews: Curious George

You think you know where this One-Star round-up is going, don't you? Kidnapping a monkey in Africa and then letting it smoke a pipe and wear men's lounge pajamas. Horrible stuff. Then the poor beast is manhandled by brutish firemen. For shame. Sure, that One-Star is out there. In fact, here it is:

1.0 out of 5 stars Sends the wrong message to children, April 28, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: The Complete Adventures of Curious George (Hardcover)

Curious George gets kidnapped from his natural habitat in an African jungle by a "nice" man who throws a sack over him, bundles him onto a ship and takes him to America where he puts him in a "nice" zoo.

Is this the kind of "niceness" we want our children to learn?

But there's more than one way to hate on George, believe it or not. Maybe you don't think it's a very accurate description of puzzle-piece surgery, or you don't like that George hallucinates. Someone agrees with you.

1.0 out of 5 stars The worst Curious Book yet, May 29, 2010

By 

DHH "DH" (Bloomfield Hills, MI United States) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)

This review is from: The Complete Adventures of Curious George, Anniversary Edition (Hardcover)

Unlike all the other Curious George compilations this book has a bunch of strange stories in it. The strangest is the one written in conjusction with the Boston Children's Hospital where George swallows a puzzle piece. He then gets admitted to the hospital, drinks barium and then gets operated on. As a physician this was far too detailed for Curious George story.

Another story in the book has George smelling a bottle of ether and then having stange dreams and passing out.

My daughter likes the hospital story as I make up all my own words but this book will hit the trash can one day soon. Buy any other compilation of George stories just not this one - it's like the writers were drinking on duty when this book got put together.

Or maybe you can't really be that specific, and its just the color scheme that drives your family insane.

1.0 out of 5 stars This piece of literature was very disapointing., April 20, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: The Complete Adventures of Curious George (Hardcover)

This book is too scary for my whole family. My child is now traumatized and needs mental help. My wife thought the water colors were very cold and made her depressed. Customers should think before buying a book like this.

So many things wrong with George, aren't there?

One-Star Reviews: Episode 2

The other day, I shared with you an Amazon review of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs written by someone who fears that it will spread "carnism", as if meat-eating needed PR of this type. It got me wondering, what else are nutjobs saying about our favorite books.  Therefore, I happily bring you episode 2a of One-Star Review: Ferdinand the Bull.

Who on earth could hate Ferdinand, that lovable bull who just loves smelling the flowers, until he selected to be a toro in the bullfight? Not even the matadors can anger Ferdinand, who loves the flowers thrown to him by beautiful women. It turns out that there are exactly two people on earth who hate Ferdinand, and they don't even have common ground in their disgust for this lovely, peaceable book.

1.0 out of 5 stars Shocking and inappropriate for young children, February 4, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: The Story of Ferdinand (Hardcover)

Upon reading this book, I found it to be very shocking and inappropriate for young children. My students thought it to be a "bad story." They "did not like it because the men wanted to hurt Ferdinand. They wanted to keep sticking him with spears and a sword." My students asked me to stop reading the story because they felt very sad.

1.0 out of 5 stars Not Recommended for Boys, November 29, 2010

By 

justmenc - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)

This review is from: The Story of Ferdinand (Reading Railroad Books) (Mass Market Paperback)

I bought this for my 4 year old son because my husband said it was his favorite book growing up. Well, this book was only one of his many problems from childhood. First of all, it speaks of the violence brought on a bull in a bull-fight (not appropriate for young kids in my opinion). The worst part, however, is the ineptitude of Ferdinand. He is a big, strong bull not at all interested in being what he is. He is lazy and just wants to look at flowers. He is a waste. I cannot fathom how anyone finds the story endearing...

Team Brandon

I'm pretty sure you were worried about this, so it's important to let you know that you CAN field an entire major-league baseball team comprised of men whose first name is Brandon. I did the work for you; here's your roster:
C - Brandon Inge/Brandon Bantz

1B - Brandon Moss/Brandon Belt

2B - Brandon Phillips

3B - Brandon Wood

SS - Brandon Hicks/Brandon Crawford

CF - Brandon Barnes

RF - Brandon Belt

LF - Brandon Snyder

P - Brandon McCarthy, Brandon Lyon, Brandon League, Brandon Beachy, Brandon Maurer
I acknowledge that it's not a 10-man bullpen but cut me some slack here.

You're welcome.

Vegan Zombie Attacks

How awesome is this review? 

When I posted this on Twitter, a friend sent this tweet:

Needed empty capsules to put meds in for a sick cat once - called @Rainbow_Grocery and they asked if my cat was vegan.

To which I say, do not, I repeat, do NOT let your cat read Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.

Just. wow.

This week's Berkeley Parents Network newsletters were so insane, so target-rich, I didn't know where to start. David very helpfully leads the way by citing this one in the comments to an earlier post.

Husband want to take MY child on trip
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My husband and I got married when my son was 10 months old, and he did not adopt him. My son is
now 14 years old, and my husband wants to take him cross country to visit his daughter. My son
wants to go, but, for various reasons - one being that my husband has anger management issues - I
do not want him to go. My husband is insisting and says that he'll take him despite what I say.
If he does, can I have him arrested for kidnapping?
Worried in Bay Area

The only thing that makes this nonsense okay is that, as of this morning, people who WANT to be married, CAN be married.  This lady is unaffected by today's Supreme Court ruling. Congratulations to the rest of us!