Various and Sundry

Having little in the way of wit or surplus charm today, herewith is today's blog post:

1. The formal structure of the previous phrasing arises from the fact that I spent this evening writing a, what was it called, First and Final Account and Report and Petition for Final Distribution and For Statutory Compensation. I would say, "Just shoot me" but then some other luckless chap will have to write one for me. It's a probate case.

2. For a good preview of what its like to debate Sarah Palin. I love the phrase "glittering generalities." I think I need to learn to speak in those too.

3. I changed the look of my blog because I was bored with the way it was before. I don't know how to write html so I have to use the blogger templates. A buddy recently recommended typepad (another software "platform" I think is what its called), but I fear change, so I will impotently toggle templates til my brain re-engages with the actual content of this blog, and then the color scheme won't matter again.

He's Everywhere

Western Swing was good enough to bring to my attention the fact that I am not the only Nelson Marans "fan" out there. A DailyKos diarist has run afoul of Mr. Marans, who has accordingly blogged about it. Mr. Marans is clearly out of his league in a foreign policy debate about anything that requires more than skin-deep knowledge of the topic. He doesn't support Obama. He either (a) writes physical letters to periodicals, suggesting he is out of touch with technology, or (b) he is facile with basic technology, like Yahoo Mail, permitting him to email indiscriminately. Those are 3 ways that he resembles the McCain-Palin ticket. Just pointing it out.

Live Blogging the Post-Debate

If I knew what was good for me (and I don't), I would just got to bed. I didn't get to watch the debate live because Li thinks the "Obama show" is boring. In this case, I have to agree. I watched about an hour of it, and maybe because I am basically obsessed with politics, I felt like there was nothing new. First debate, check. On to the bailout.

Having been to Oxford recently, I wonder at a few things. Like where are Howard Dean and Vernon Jordan staying tonight? There aren't a lot of options. I am sort of tickled that they may be staying at the bed and breakfast where I stayed. They'll probably gain 3 pounds at breakfast. Also, there seemed to be football crowd-sized crowds rallying. Is there a game tomorrow?

All right, no interesting insights to see here. Move along.

If You Didn't Buy the Bridge to Nowhere. . .

I can't figure out how to link to this so I am just reprinting something my cousin had on his Facebook page. Funny.

SUBJECT: REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
DEAR AMERICAN:

I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.

I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 800 BILLION DOLLARS US. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER, IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.

I AM WORKING WITH MR. PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY. AS A SENATOR, YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S. THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% SAFE.

THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED A BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED.

PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@REPUBLIC

OFAMERICATREASURY.USA SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THAT INFORMATION, I WILL RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS THAT WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,
MINISTER OF TREASURY PAULSON

Another Gift, and On the Same Day!

Yesterday, a neighbor brought to my attention this LA Times article. The Berkeley Bowl is imposing lifetime bans on people who "sample" the food without buying it. Good for them. Even the offenders admit its stealing.

Store manager Larry Evans says the policy is a fair response to doctors, lawyers and college professors who help themselves to bags of cookies, nuts and vitamins, stick their fingers in pies and guzzle from bottles of sake, assuming the rules don't apply to them.

"There's a sense of entitlement to this town," Evans said. "People think, 'If I want to do it, I'll do it, just try and stop me.' "

This does not mean that I will go to the Berkeley Bowl again (its been over 5 years since I last shopped there) but I will hate them one iota less for attempting to impose some order on the mayhem of Berkeley.

Some Days, You Get a Little Gift

The Tree Sitters are being fined for the costs associated with their nasty little public disturbance. You remember the Tree Sitters: I blogged about them here and here. You'll need to chuckle for a moment, because my next Berkeley story may make you sick to your stomach.

A woman I work with (who lives in Bkly) has a unit on her property that she rents to another woman. Let's call the first woman "A" and the second woman "B". In preparing to have the unit renovated, A learned that B was a horder, and it took some doing to get the place cleared out enough to have the work done. Fast forward. After completing recent electrical work, the electrician reports to A that she has some water damage below her bathroom. A calls the plumber. The plumber investigates, and notifies A that the toilet has not been used for years. Literally years. The toilet is bone dry, most of the works are missing from the tank, and the rubber pieces have cracked and crumbled from years of aridity.

What's that about? Where's the, you know, everything?

As for my annual Burning Man screed: I am worried about my blood pressure, and if I write about such infuriating topics I might burst a blood vessel. But you can find earlier posts here. I will tell you this: I was talking to a woman who works for a high profile, well-regarded non-profit which works to safeguard the Constitution (hint: it rhymes with A-C-L-goo) and she told me that they went to Burning Man to protect free speech. That galls me more than their defense of Nazis and guns. Of course, no one there wanted to trample free speech because people who hate free speech don't want to poop in the desert with idiots all week, so they were sort of bored. She did feel that they did protect the 4th Amendment, since drug busts are the primary occupation of law enforcement at the Festival. Which makes sense, since drugs, and not "free speech", are the point of that stupid affair.

Loved Twice

I want to give BIG ups to my neighbor and friend Lisa, whose efforts to provide clothes to newborns in need is getting recognition it deserves. The Oakland Tribune has this article, "Oakland mom a champion of newborns" today, and she's also this month's Comcast "Hometown Hero". You can support Lisa's non-profit Loved Twice Baby Clothing by donating on her website. On top of doing all this great stuff, Lisa is a cool woman and great mom, who will pour you a glass of wine just for walking by her house.

Typing With All My Fingers

I am now sitting firmly at a computer once again. Having reviewed my previous posts, I fear that you think I was drunk all last week. I say that somewhat wishfully. Although it didn't pass in an alcoholic haze, the week was like time outside of itself. Nothing in my normal life happened, but I had plenty of time to meditate on such timeless topics as death, parenthood, and memory.

One thing my time in Albany reminded me is that an unhappy family is truly ripe for literary exploration. My father's family, at each generation, seems like the most typical tale, and yet their insanity makes them far more interesting (to consider writing about) than my mother's funnier, larger crew. There's my Grandma Egitto, the Immigrant Girl who marries for security and is yet never happy nor secure. There's my grandfather: the Soldier, the Small Business Owner, first generation American. An Everyman, yet no one can describe him at his own funeral. His sons, the Rock 'n' Roller turned Entrepreneur, and the Prodigal Son, whose marriage, children and coming out were never embraced by his parents. And then there's my sister and I. Okay, there's nothing particularly interesting about us. But I would seriously write a novel about the rest of this family if it didn't involve traveling to Albany again to research the area.

The day after I got back, my little(r) guy took a spill and bumped his head. Out of precaution, we went to the doctor, who sent us to the ER. Not sure why a pediatrician can't order a CAT scan without sending us to the ER in an ambulance, but anyway, that is how Q and I spent Friday. So I am woefully behind in every sector of my life. Get back on the horse tomorrow, I figure.

Some thoughts

Lots of ron paul signs.

All the houses still have their original siding from 55 years ago. Very sterile.

My father can just doesn't stop talking. Extremely maudlin. Aside from the emotions he's just like his father. And the talking, I guess. My grandfather was not the chatty sort.

We have 11 hours 40 minutes left in this town. We are on the way to our second cemetery of the day. "To see where Grandma Egitto is buried" ??? I feel like a teenager on a family vacation. Its good exercise for my eyes to be rolling them around so much.

Isn't It Funny?

How 'regulation' became acceptable literally overnight? Funny that.

Spent the day at funeral related activities. While the funeral was in no way funny the day has had its moments. Blogging with my thimbs is difficult so if I am so moved, I will share later. All in all, a depressing scene, the Capital Region.

Me, The Winker

I have decided that it would be highly rude to live-blog a funeral but that was a tough journalistic decision. Visits with family are tough, but here's a toxic combo: family you don't know very well + Loudonville, NY + maudlin-ness + LaQuinta + death = inappropriate giggling ad, yes, winking. I cannot stop winking at my sister. What is up with families? Who ever suggested that they were a rich source of drama, not a endless fount of giggles? Chekhov? You are wrong here.

Appropos of nothing: have you seen this M&M ad with the sexy M&M? Ewww. I don't want to eat sexy M&Ms.

Whadya Think of This?

Obama has an ad out that plays up McCain's inability to use a computer. The wingers have countered that McCain can't type because he was tortured in 'Nam. I was fretting about the backlash of this on Obama, til I read Undercover Black Man on the topic. So what do you think? Is the Obama campaign that brilliant, or will it really boomerang on them? If they are that brilliant, are you disgusted? I'm not, because I don't think that McCain is incapable of being president because of his disabilities. I think he's incapable of being president because he's a sell-out nut job who lives in a bubble in the past.

Haven't Got Time for The Pain

Like many Democrats, I have been panicking over the past few days about our election chances, and this panic had an eerie familiarity. I placed it today. It's the pre-2004 Red Sox panic. That's right, Democrats are the new Red Sox. Heading into the 2004 playoffs, the Red Sox hadn't won a World Series in 84 years. They'd come close many times, including 2003. They'd even made it to the World Series in 1986, but were beaten by the Mets. Bucky Frackin' Dent. In the 2004 pennant championship series, the Yankees were up 3 games to 0. No team had ever pulled from that far behind to go on to the World Series, and yet the Red Sox pulled it off, and went on to win the World Series. Their change of luck was confirmed last year when they won the 2007 World Series. Those lovable losers just ain't losers any more.

Democrats are the Red Sox of the 2004 playoffs. We come close to winning, but we never win. Bill Clinton was our 1986 World Series. We made it there and then. . . nothin'. No healthcare reform, the end of welfare. Sure, the economy was good, but there were a lot of complicated reasons for that, and none seems like a victory the Democrats could take credit for. Its like we haven't won a World Series since 1964, and that's a long-ass time ago. But this year, it can still be different. We haven't lost yet, so stop your bitchin', steal second base, and get this series back on track. We are going to win. John McCain Sucks!

And another thing: my grandfather passed away* and my sister and I are traveling to Albany NY this week. This will either put a crimp in my blogging or I will be dispatching regularly from my blackberry about my ventures. We shall see. I just downloaded Spore to my ipod, so the former is more likely. I can already tell that it is extremely addictive, even if the wheel makes it a little hard to play.

* I appreciate your condolences in advance. He was very old (91) and very ill. Both his life and his passing were a blessing to him, I think. Its looking increasingly likely that both Mr. Scob and I will live to be almost 200 years, based on the longetivity and health of our grandparents.

Things You Can Do To Help

Just to loop back to my recent panic attack about Obama, I wanted to let you know about some more opportunities you have to help out.

Steve-A-Rino has this call to arms at his blog Glossaria. Well, not actually arms, of course, but he has a great idea for a quick fundraiser to put a Planned Parenthood ad on the air to rebut the McCain nonsense about Obama's support for education for children on understanding "bad touching".



Another thing you can do: Come with me to Nevada for the election! I will be traveling with about 80 other attorneys to Vegas or Reno to monitor polls during voting. Lemme know. Come on! Party on, Dude! Wheeee-ew! Coyote Ugly! It'll rock!

My laziest blog post ever

I am blogging from my mobile device so I can blog lying down. So sue me.

This morning at the gym I watched a little of the Today show and they played a clip of McCain making the lipstick-on-a-pig joke about Hillary Clinton some months back. I sort of thought that would put an end to this bullshit narrative but no such luck. I haven't seen or heard of the clip again. The thrall the media has with its manufactured crises prevents actual news, or even proof of non-news from getting out.

On the other hand, they also had a reunion of the cast from Airplane. Plus Ann Curry is still hot after all these years. So Today Show: thumbs up. The rest: thumbs down.

Your Bush Presidency at Work

Usually a news article puts its juiciest stuff right up front, but this article in the New York Times, Wide-Ranging Ethics Scandal Emerges at Interior Dept., is juicy the whole way through. Its so salacious that a Hollywood producer might even feel uncomfortable making it into a movie. Or would reject it as too over-the-top and unrealistic.

I think this is just one illustration of the extent to which the Bush Presidency is the Oligarchy of Big Oil and nothing more.

In Other Political News

My cousin Tom Costello won his primary yesterday to become the Democratic Party candidate for Lt. Governor of Vermont. He faces the incumbent Brian Dubie, a Republican, in the November election. Congratulations to Tom and Good Luck in November.

Time to Get on the Stick

Unlike my Wire obsession, I am not even going to be meek and apologetic about this. There are eight weeks left to this election season. At the end of it, lots of people will vote. Think for a second what it would be like to have John McCain as President. It makes you shudder, doesn't it? It freaks the SHIT out of me.

I spent the whole day in Nevada today, meeting with the Obama campaign about voter protection efforts, and I am really freaked out that we are going to lose this election. Not because of what I saw of the Obama campaign today, but because of who I didn't see, and what I didn't see. I didn't see any bumper stickers, or signs. I did see lots of problems and misinformation on the voter election website, and too much stuff to do and not enough people to do it all.

Here's what I did see: Road signs for a guy running for Congress whose platform is: Win the War, Flat Taxes, Secure Our Borders. Query why he feels that Nevada needs its borders secure from its neighbors (it doesn't touch Mexico) but he clearly knows he'll get traction with that. And if the Republicans get traction, that's the sort of horseshit we'll be seeing proposed as "policy".

SO: What are you going to do about it? Everyone has to do something. Especially those of you who live in Virginia, ahem, where you could make a huge difference. Here are some suggestions:

1. Donate money.
2. Get a bumper sticker or lawn sign.
3. Volunteer to call your neighbors.
4. Host a party.
Its very easy to do these last two by signing up with www.my.barackobama.com. You can find events and volunteer opportunities in minutes. VERY EASY.

Not comfortable with the outright campaigning? How about being a pollworker in your county? Call your county election department or registrar of voters and volunteer to work at a poll in your neighborhood. Its very important this year to have people working who are facilitating a full vote. There will be lots of new voters, especially around places like, say, William & Mary, just for instance, who could use a supportive pollworker rather than a blue hair who tries to shoo them away.

Sorry to be so extremely earnest about this but I am wicked stressed out about this election. Its more important than donating to any charity right now, more important than fixing your leaky faucet or changing your light bulbs to CFL. I will even give you a personal dispensation on not recycling this week if you go do something for this campaign. Thank you. Back to our regularly scheduled snarky program when we return.

Friday Morning Wake-Up Call

I Said I Would Blog About It, So. . .

I promised last week that I would blog about my job. In fact, what I will blog about is that I am leaving my job. Tuesday was my 8-year anniversary at my job, and I am ready to do something different. Not sure what, and I am open to ideas. Very open. I am thinking about political stuff, since I loved the campaign, or non-profit work, since it feels simpatico (good work, slightly dysfunctional). I have stayed at my job longer than I wanted to out of loyalty to my co-workers, whom I love and respect tremendously, and my clients, whom I respect and feel that I serve very well. But loyalty doesn't get you all the way to retirement anymore.

One thing that has been mentioned a couple of times is that I should just blog full-time. I don't think I am suited for it, and frankly, I only have about 40 regular readers. But purely out of curiosity, would you, my readers, accept efforts on my behalf to do this blog thing more economically?

My Impressions

I got to watch a tad of the Palin speech and here are my impressions:

1. Levi Johnston is living the American male nightmare. Imagine: You're 17 again. You get your Christian girlfriend pregnant. Her mom is nominated for the Vice Presidency. Suddenly, you're getting married, your mySpace page has been yanked, and you are on the stage of the Republican National Convention, naked. And chewing gum. You wake screaming.

Even I have had this nightmare.

2. If she were a Democrat, I would love her. Okay, wait, I would still be a little wierded out by the parading of pregnant daughter, but I would be forgiving, and own it the way the Repubs have, because being pro-choice means being pro-choice, so when a young woman decides to keep her baby, I want that baby to be born into the best and most loving world we can provide for it. So I support Bristol's choice, if she had one. And Sarah Palin, if she were a Democrat, would rock. From the sass to the incredibly cute baby, she'd be my hero.

But she ain't. Her politics blow chunks. She's vindicative, she's a book burner. She's a secessionist, she's the CEO of America's welfare queen. BUT. . . .

She's a great politician. This was a great decision on her part, to accept the VP nomination, warts and all. Here's her brilliant gamble: If she and McCain win, she's Vice President of the United States of America. A-Number One candidate in 2012 or 2016, depending on when McCain bows out. If they lose, she's the right-wing poster girl. She goes back to AK to serve out her relatively easy (compared to VP) job, and she's the beautiful, funny, sweet, bright voice of the Right. And in 2016, she's the standard bearer. Trig will be 9, Track will be Colonel Palin, and the girls will be grown up enough to campaign for her. She will be a shoo-in. 8 weeks of media scrutiny is worth it for that kind of power.

Gross

Sorry, sent from my phone. Click below. Not so gross that you'll barf or anything, but gross.

http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/Most-Emailed-Photos-last-wish-El-Nuevo-Dia-dead-on/ss/1756/im:/080819/481/e4342933128e4f7c9d8e0ab6e2c2e871/

Celebrity Look-alike: Sarah Palin Edition

TMZ has a really funny slide show of Sarah Palin celebrity look-alikes. Enjoy! And thanks M.

Two Americas

Hi and welcome to a reader who showed up on my doorstep tonight (not in a creepy way). My kids didn't go to bed til 9:40 so I couldn't hack going back out for a beer. But feel free to comment now. You all can. And did you know you can get my blog on an RSS feed? I barely know what that is and I certainly don't know how you can set it up.

Okay, to the topic at hand. Listening to the reaction from the press and my friends about the Palin pick, it strikes me that Barack Obama was wrong. There are two Americas. Both happen to be reeling with joy at the choice of Sarah Palin for VP. On one hand, you have the rightwingers, aka "The Base", who are over the moon that there's a 100% completely anti-choice creationist a heartbeat from being Leader of the Free World. On the other, there are the rest of us, who can't believe our good luck that such a 100% complete babe-in-the-woods (and no, TK, I don't mean that in a double entendre way) would be picked. These are the folks who, like me, assume that no one wants to vote for someone whose tenure as PTA president is her foreign policy background (because I am sure the Wasilla Warriors played the Whitehorse Horsemen in the All-Americas Hockey Finals in 2002). And neither side has even the slightest clue what the other side is talking about.

Battlestar Galactic Fans Untie

I've already received the email with the pics of John McCain looking like Colonel Tigh and Sarah Palin compared to Laura Roslin. But why not the equally obvious Cindy McCain-Ellen Tigh comparison?

Overheard

Four kids at McDonald's:
"How long you been out for Obama?"
"For like 11 yars" (that's not a spelling error)
"What? You only like 23!"

Ya Gotta Admit It

Things are moving towards me being right. While this teen pregnancy won't sink Palin, the fringe-nut secessionist party stuff sure doesn't help. Palin, of course, won't apologize when she bows out; she'll just say she doesn't want to be a distraction to the real issues in this important election year, or some bulls***. And then Romney? Because you know Colin Powell has said no.

Other reactions to today's news:

LC: Bristol is a slang term for breasts in England.
AD: If Sarah Palin knew she was going to keep the baby, why'd she have amnio to discover he had Down's?
AG: [stepfather] said the 17 year-old was a wild one. Ha!

Me: How do you have FIVE children and neglect to inform any of them, but especially the older ones, how babies are made? Or does Palin still not know herself? Forget the abortion question. She's consistent on that. But silence on the basic plumbing is a problem. Think how ignorant she'll want everyone else's kids to be.

Oh, well. We won't have Sarah Palin to kick around much longer.

I don't think Palin is in my celebrity look-alike chain of likeness. She's on the other side of Fey from me.