New update

I posted some pix of the kiddo driving a jag over at Fungus Everything. Go check it out.

Not Much New

The Cinco de Mayo fiesta being held next door is just getting out and it sounds pretty raucous on Thomas Ave for a Tuesday night. The bambinos are asleep. Did I mention its Tuesday? That raises considerably the chances that I will hear someone say the words, "It's Humpday, dude" tomorrow. Which anticipatorily bums me out, dude.

An actual email exchange btwn me and the hubs yesterday:

Me: "There is a serious lack of candy bars in this office."

Him: "I thought Allison Janney just walked around giving out blueberries over there."

Me: "Mmmmm, blueberries."

Him: "Mmmmm, Allison Janney's voice."

I understand that this exchange is only humorous if you are familiar with the KP Thrive ad campaign. Sorry.

I spent my lunch time outside the Paramount Theater today, registering new citizens to vote. There's a new citizen swearing-in ceremony every Tuesday over there. I was surprised how choked up I got watching people spill out of the theater when it was over. Lots of people dressed like it was Easter, blinking to adjust to the outside light, clutching their "papers." Several people asked about how to get a passport; I took several family photos. Kids dressed in red, white and blue. It was nice. I registered a young woman to vote who was wearing a burka, while her parents flitted around her pointing to the parts of the application she hadn't completed yet. I liked their enthusiasm. Before everyone came out, vendors set up to sell covers for the certificates new citizens receive, and Obama T-shirts. 

Speaking of kids dressed for Easter, there are mine, on Easter, outside the Cathedral of Christ the Light. Aren't they cute?

Spot the Problems

For all I know, this story is true, but if it is, this woman went about spilling the beans in the worst possible way. More intriguing than her claim that her father is the Zodiac killer is the fact that there are dozens of people who claim to know his identity, and even that they are related to him. Unless they are an unusually forgetful or dimwitted crew (who don't realize or remember their connections to one another), they can't ALL be the Number One Witness for the Prosecution. So what drives people to claim "knowledge" about the Zodiac killer with a certainty that warrants trying to shout down another crazy person during her press conference? Words escape me. 

My Second Run at a Holy Hullabaloos Review

The book Holy Hullabaloos hasn't even been released yet (and my pre-ordered copy certainly hasn't shipped yet), but there's no reason I can't review the book sight unseen. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't wait to read a book, or see a movie, to have an opinion about it. 

But I will be upfront here about what I'm basing this review on. I will be relying on (1) the author's blog and the outtakes from the book reported thereon; (2) "Customers Who Bought Related Items Also Bought" list from Amazon; (3) the cover illustration of the book and (4) tales my husband has told me about the author over the past 17 years. I will not reference or rely on (a) the book itself or (b) my personal interactions with the author.

Holy Hullabaloos is a chuckle-a-chapter examination of the intersection of religious conviction and spiritual ambivalence that is articulated throughout American culture and federal law. Prof. Wexler does double-duty as a humorist and law-professor-to-the-masses without wading into this emotional topic over his head. Anyone who gives passing notice to John Fante* will be richly rewarded by Wexler's forays throughout the American religious geography. Followers of Wexler's creative career will be disheartened that he didn't paint the cover himself; a regular reader of his blog will likely know to fault his editors for this artistic oversight. Regardless of your religious beliefs, there's no doubt that you will enjoy this stimulating summer read more than the Broadway musical Cats.

(Actual review to follow)

* I have no idea what this means.

My First Run at a Holy Hullabaloos Review.

I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats.

My Life Is Now Perfect

I got all the forms to join my union yesterday, and after sending them off today, confirmed on the internets that I am a member of David Simon's old local, Washington Baltimore Newpaper Guild, CWA Local 32035. My life is now complete.

Completely Torn

Liam learned how to ride without training wheels about 2 weeks ago, and he is already bat-shit fast and agile on his bike. No fear. SOOO, can I show him this, or is that just bad parenting?

h/t Eric.

Loan Repayment Underway

Remember how I was boosting Kiva a few months ago? Through Kiva, I made a $25 loan to a woman in Nigeria who has a food stall and needed $550 to increase her inventory. Her first payment of $51 was due May 15 but she made her payment early and I got $3.12, which I can either cash out or re-lend. Pretty awesome, eh? Please visit Kiva to learn more about microlending, and maybe find someone you'd like to lend $25 to. Thanks.

Nicest Thing I've Read In A Long Time

From the NYT Magazine:

Deborah Solomon: I hear you just became engaged. True?

Joyce Carol Oates: To say how I feel about my engagement to Charles Gross, who is in the psychology department and the Neuroscience Institute at Princeton, is not really possible in such a small space.

A Little Background on the Sculpture

I've gotten a couple of emails about the anatomical correctness of "How Humans Live" and I wanted to give y'all a little context for the work. L noticed this sculpture at the SFMOMA a few weeks ago and he and his dad went back to check it out this weekend. After seeing it a second time, he wanted to make it himself. Thus, our sculpture. It was up on the kids' bedroom wall, but not surprisingly, little brother declared it to be a "scary ghost" and I had to take it down. L wants to send it to the art museum, but (a) the penis won't stay one and (b) I don't know who to direct it to at the Museum. 

Liam's sculpture

I helped Liam make this today. Its called "how humans live".

Easter Egg Mystery

I just fired up the boiling water for the eggs when I noticed that the standard Paas egg dye colors are Yellow, Orange, Red, Teal and Denim. That's right, DENIM. Unacceptable. I mean, I can barely stomach teal, but denim crosses a line. Is blue trademarked by Cadbury, or by the Easter Bunny himself, or by the International Federation of Turdi Migratorii (that's the plural latin for American Robin, be-yatches)?

Whatever the answer, I will now imagine that 20% of our eggs are in little tiny jean suits. Isn't that sad?

Red Sox Mania

Here's how bad it is.* I am sufficiently en-fanned to have (a) gotten B the MLB Extra Innings package on cable and didn't even link it to any sort of gift-giving event** and (b) I understand 89% of the jokes in this video.  

* Or good it is, for my husband. 

** It might get the retro-active birthday treatment if I don't think of anything else to get him. 

Helpful Movie Review

In case you are wondering whether Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail is still funny (as I recently wondered), let me help you out here. After the first half hour, its really not. Except for the French John Cleese ("I fart in your general direction."), it all sort of peters out after the first 35 minutes. At minute 57, you will turn off the movie, and then start wondering how something that's only 1.5 hours long, can seem so, well, LONG.

This suggests that other things I did when I was 14 may also no longer be enjoyable. But rather than test that question, I am going to avoid Tetris, making out at U2's Rattle and Hum and getting endless soda refills at Pizza Hut in Morristown, NJ, until they close.

Some More Things I Don't Like About My New Job

Just to be clear, I actually really really like my new job. It's the jargon that is driving me crazy. For example, today I got this in an email: "Seems like a great opportunity for onboarding." Is that a word? It's not defined at dictionary.com. Oh wait, here it is.

This need to create new words to replace other, equally efficient, words is super-irritating. And just how pervasive is it? Well, today an Efficiency Contest was announced in the office where I work. the purpose of this contest? "The (blank) committee wants to develop a word or short phrase that we can use within our department that indicates something may be inefficient. This is something that we would be all comfortable saying to one another and would indicate, we may need to stop and rethink something." Some proposed examples are, "Time Out, E-9, Pause, Pause Check, E-check," et al.

So basically this is a contest to find a safe word to stop inefficiencies which is itelf totally inefficient since the obvious answer is that we all just agree to say, "This seems inefficient?" or "Is this the most efficient way to do this?"

At some point, I assume I will just get a little callous on my forehead and then it won't bleed anymore when I bang it on my desk, right?

Just to Be Clear

I in no way shape or form endorse anything Grover Norquist says or does, even stopping at red lights. I feel so yucky now.

A Proud Parent

My five year-old, who wants to learn to read and write, wrote, "POOP PEE FArT" last night. We are SO proud of him.

Last night I was behind a car which had been purchased at Karl Malone Toyota Subaru. I recall that Scotty Pippen had a few car dealerships as well. Why do basketball players have car dealerships? Or is it athletes generally? And how are they weathering the economic downturn relative to other dealerships, many of which seem to be folding right now? These are the things I worry about in these difficult times.

I like this Scientology PAC idea, as it makes Grover Norquist seem almost reasonable. Okay, not really. Geez, saying anything vaguely positive about Norquist definitely just put my enneagrams in a state of flux.

O.P.P.

MIL: Here's a link, but the highlights:

O is for Other, P is for People scratchin' temple
The last P...well...that's not that simple
It's sorta like another way to call a cat a kitten 

As for the ladies, OPP means something gifted 

The first two letters are the same the last is something different 

Its the longest, loveliest, lean -- I call it the leanest 

It's another five letter word rhymin' with cleanest and meanest

My Guys

Here's a picture I took of my world class mushroom hunters on our hike today. You can read about the hike at Fungus Everything.

Another Not So Good Thing About My Job

Someone used the word "impactful" twice in a conversation with me. I may have visibly flinched the first time.

UPDATED: People use the word "prework" a lot. It means, I think, reading in preparation for a meeting. It's irritating.