How to Drive Yourself Crazy, and Then Sane Again

How to drive yourself insane: Decide at 7:00 p.m., while trying to get kids to bed, that you need to learn how to knit again. Attempt to find knitting needles. Settle for chopsticks. Try to decipher pictures of yarn being cast onto needles. Fail. (You are left-handed, by the way).

How to become sane again: Check YouTube for How to cast on knitting left handed.

(This assumes that you think sane=knitting with chopsticks)

Update: I confirmed that I am capable of knitting, but also that chopsticks are an insufficient tool for the task. This means its unlikely that I will fulfill my son's command of earlier this evening, "Knit me a very warm blanket tonight! Mom!"

More on the Fish

Here are their names, followed by the birth order number of the child who named each: Max (1), Frump (2), Wallace (1), and Gromit (2).

As to the question of whether goldfish mortality has been broached: It has. At least with Thing 1, who responds with a serious look on his face, as if to reassure me, "Fish die, right mom?" Number 2 could seriously not give a s**t. Although if someone asks, "how are the fish?" He races out of the room, yelling, "I check!" He doesn't usually make it to the kitchen to see, though. He usually gets distracted before he gets there.

The Dumb Things Parents Do

When you are a parent, you do a lot of weird and sometimes stupid things: volunteer to make all the Christmas cookies for the class, scream at your child for doing a head stand, having another kid. Today, I got the kids 4 goldfish. What started as a promise to get one fish quickly became a major undertaking. Why? Because they are 4 for a dollar. Four fish means you need a much bigger bowl, and plants, etc etc. Some of you might not think this is crazy. Maybe you got a puppy when you were 7 months' pregnant, so 4 fish seems like no biggie. But we are going away for a week in 6 days, which means I have to find someone to watch the damn fish. My fish, because the kids will be negative helpful, and Mr. Scobie has already disowned me. Better than getting a puppy - or pregnant - right?

Back to The Wire

Now y'all know, I am crazy about two things: Barack Obama and The Wire. And I am over the moon about Obama's election. Sh*t's changing already. I saw a headline today: "Obama plans to close Guantanamo". Amazing. It hasn't even been a week and the cloud is lifting, the sun will shine.

I do have one little lump of worry in my throat, though. The short-hand for all this, in Wire terms: "It's a new day in Baltimore."

For those of you who refuse to take my advice and just watch the damn show, I will give a little context. At the end of season 4, Daniels has been promoted by Mayor Carchetti, who has promised him that much-needed change is coming to the Balmawr Po-leese. Daniels shares with Lester Freemon, a long-suffering homicide detective, the above-quoted sentiment. At the beginning of season 5, we learn that things are worse than they were before, and our heroes spin off in unfortunate and, in some cases, unethical circumstances. Freemon is disgraced by a bogus serial killer created with McNulty; Daniels has resigned under pressure and blackmail. It's a total (excuse my language) fucking tragedy.

And so, I worry. My worry is not alleviated by this:


Please will.i.am, do not doom the Obama administration!

*Hey, Wire nerds, I just realized (when I tried to find Daniels' speech on YouTube) that New Day was also the name of the drug co-op run by Stringer and Prop Joe. Once again, Simon and Burns amaze me with their genius.

Wow.

http://change.gov/page/s/application

That's the website to apply for positions in the Obama-Biden administration. Scroll down to the bottom of that page ad read the non-discrimination language. Wow. Sexual orientation and identity are both protected classifications. Monumental in even the smallest details.

My two year old

Is carrying a tiny lemon around the house, saying, "this is amazing creatures" repeatedly. "Open the creatures right now. Get the seeds out. Cut in another half, the 'mazing creatures."

With Nothing Left to Talk About

I've turned to researching my next car. VW Jetta TDI Sportswagen. It's adorable. Clean diesel, too.

Now back to politics. I saw something on Facebook today about a movement to repeal Prop 8 in 2010. Why would we wait that long? Why not put it on one of those obscure election days before the next federal election, and then run an actually decent and effective campaign, where only the people who give a shit come out to vote on it. The No on Prop 8 campaign blew chunks, and whoever was responsible for that should publicly bear some responsibility for fucking up what should have been an easy (relatively) win. Back to the drawing board, toot sweet.

Change Can Happen, And Happen Fast

My PDA battery died last night so I couldn't post again after I left HQ. I spent a decent part of my night driving around Vegas, first to a wierd bar to watch the final returns, although I knew he had won while I was on my way there, then to my hotel to dump the car and get a cab to the Rio for the Dems party. I was happy to spend the evening partly alone, however, because I felt very emotional. I cried intermittently, partly from joy and partly from exhaustion.

Then when I saw Jesse Jackson crying, I almost started bawling. I felt a little terrible watching him have such a private moment in such a public way. Jesse has lived in the public eye for nearly a half-century, so in some ways it was fitting that he would cry deeply among a million people, televised to millions more. He's a little like Zelig, isn't he? Present at so many world-changing events. He used to seem to second string, the guy standing next to King, but not the man himself. Even though Jesse Jackson had a hard time with the Obama candidacy in some ways, very few people deserve as much credit as Jackson for making it happen. In fact, it is the millions and millions of people who have stood next to our moral leaders over the past century that have made this moment, and our future, possible. This time, there were over 50 million men and women standing with a moral leader, and change is not only possible, it has happened, and we have the capacity, and infrastructure, to make it happen again and again.

So I felt okay being alone, because I wasn't.

The Dem party was actually a rally of sorts for the Obama volunteers, and was winding down when we got there. It was nice to mill around with a thousand other people just beaming at eachother and being super-polite and nice. Lots of people had gotten dressed up and were treating it like a real party, dancing and drinking.

I want to thank all my friends and family who have been so supportive of me, whether they support my candidate, I mean, president, or not. You have all borne my enthusiasm graciously, and even been a bit infected by it. This is just the first day, though, of a long and hopefully transformative journey for our country and our world. I can't wait to find out the role that I, we, can play in it.

gotta get out of here

all is quiet. i look and feel like a ragged mess. gonna go get a beer, and then head to the Rio for the after party. more as events warrant

Still Not Over

The last real issue bubbling is that a LOT of people registered outside the Sahara DMV and their registrations were never turned in. So we have gotten a two dozen calls from upset people about this.

Also, we have some asshole pollworkers who are telling people that they will kick people out of the polls at 7pm. And telling people that their provisional ballots won't be counted. We are doing what we can do correct that problem.

And don't worry, I will go to the party.

things are really winding down

calls are slowing down, or getting sillier. people who are just literally now realizing that they have forgotten to vote. Nevada had early voting for two full weeks plus mail ballots. I don't mean to be dismissive of these voters, but its supremely irritating that they are just getting on the ball. Oh, well. Every vote should be counted. Not everyone is an obsessed maniac like me.

The Democrats are having a party at The Rio tonight. I hope that I will have the energy to make it that far tonight. I am wicked tired.

Different Problems

So the kinds of problems have shifted a little bit: late this afternoon, we have had more folks with old felonies who say that they have voted in the intervening years and are now dumped from the rolls. The ex-felon rules are complicated so its a little hard to walk people through the details. Another issue is that some folks who are now at the wrong polling places don't feel that they have time (they have 2 hours) to get to the proper polling place.

There are a lot of callers to our national hotline who are little just now realizing that they need to vote. One called from Arizona, another from Tennessee. Annoying. This election has been going on for what? Two years?

Things are Quiet

But not too quiet. We aren't getting many calls and the worker influx hasn't materialized. Maybe at 5?! Or 7!?

7 is when the polls close, and anyone in line can vote.

FW: Beat this, EP Vegas!!!

From our friends in Reno:
Subject: Beat this, EP Vegas!!!

From J.D. Deming at rgj.com:
A mysterious 6 foot tall robot was kicked out of a Reno polling station this afternoon by polling officials. The sophisticated robot carried a sign reading, "Say No To Computerized Voting". The Robot also talked and seemed to be remotely controlled from an unknown location. It cracked jokes as it strolled. Poll station officials finally came out to instruct the robot to move out of the exclusive "no electioneering zone" which it slowly did, making it's way up Monroe St. in SW Reno.

Fw: Brentwood, NH

From my MIL Date: Tuesday, November 4, 2008, 3:47 PM Brentwood NH had long long lines when they finally opened at 8 am!  Generally upbeat and feeling confident at the local headquarters (to about six small towns)  At 10:30 there was a big bang (there was tree cutting along the nearby power lines) and all the power went out.  paper ballots, not to worry, but did put everyone into a spin.  Of the sign holders there were about a dozen for various Democratic candidates (Obama, Shaheen for Senate) and only one, just one, for McCain.  but we offerred her water and snacks, anyway.   Dixville Notch went for Obama 3 to 1, that seemed to seal it for these folks. We tried to do our "voter ID" data entry over the cell phones, but system crashed, so had to do it from headquarters (Painters Union) on computer.    -   Anne

provisional ballots blow chunks

Seriously, its so stupid. Its completely confusing and no one even thinks they will ever be counted.

wow

The registrar of voters has told us that the turnout may hit 85% in Clark County, where Las Vegas is.

two things about to happen

Its almost 3, which means that NH polls are about to close, and that will start to cascade of election results.

Also, casino workers get off a shift at 3pm, so we expect to see an onslaught of voters in the next half hour. So we will need to be answering calls when the best stuff is happening. Email me interesting stories you hear.

Something of Lull

Things are slightly quiet, although we are busy doing legal research on some of the wierd questions that have come in.

oops. power outage at Chuck Minker Sports Complex. So I think that they are bringing in mobile units.

so that's exciting.

Live Blog 5

Smokey Robinson voted at one of our polling places. Sadly, my poll monitor missed him, and is totally bummed out.

live blog 4

Getting wicked tired and hungry now. Unfortunately, there's sort of an antagonism growing at a couple of precincts where the poll workers are giving incorrect advice and then feeling beleaguered when they get called on it by the poll watcher. But for the most part, people are reporting that the voting is very orderly and very exciting. One monitor said she was almost moved to tears to see families voting together, people of all ethnic and racial backgrounds, disabled and able, old and young. She said voters are in a good mood, very excited. Its totally gorgeous outside. We are in a tiny room, with 7 people huddled around a conference room table. tap tap tap tap tap.

Live Blog 3

Here are the issues: 1. poll workers are just having people vote provisionally rather then figuring out where they ought to be voting, checking the inactive list (to get activated, the voter just needs to vote), etc. The problem with this is that in Nevada provisional ballots only have federal races on them. 2. poll workers don't understand that poll observers should be allowed to talk to voters outside of the polling place. this is a big problem at churches and the law is not clear about the rules at those locations. 3. African American male told he wasn't registered to the same poll as his white wife, although they've lived at the same place for 8 years. The supervisor intervened and found the man's information. So its sporadic stuff like that. Some of the poll workers are antagonist and feel put-upon, particularly because the Obama people are out in force. 4. Also, cops have shown up at a bunch of places but the sheriff has been cool about pulling people off. I am getting hungry!

Live Blog 2

Things here at Legal Command Center are brisk but not overwhelming. We've had some broken machines, and some voters turned away because of "voided" registrations. One woman has family members who were arrested over the weekend and may not get out in time to vote.

All in all, exciting but things are under control. I am wicked tired.

Election Day Live Blog

It's 4:15 a.m. I'm in a hotel room in Las Vegas. I can't sleep. I have heard construction vehicles all night. Vegas hotel rooms are funny. They purport to be luxurious (well, here at the Monte Carlo), but there are amenities. No coffemaker. Internet is $15/day. No extra lock on the door. Which is very strange.

On the news, I can see that there are long lines at polls on the east coast. I tear up.

I'm "Famous"

Oakland North blog has a piece about my voter protection efforts.

Who I Am Voting For

This post will mean close to nothing to my non-Cali readers, and they aren't endorsements. Endorsements ain't worth sh*t (unless you're Colin Powell, I guess) . Putting aside the governing principle of my hero Norman Wilson ('the sanctity of the voting booth is the cornerstone of democracy"), here's how I plan to vote (early) tomorrow.

POTUS: Barack Obama. I think I've laid out my reasoning on this position ad nauseum, so I won't bore you with the details.

U.S. Rep: Barbara Lee. Ridicule the "barbara lee speaks for me" bumper sticker if you will, but the woman has been a truly progressive and independent voice in Congress.

State Senator: Loni Hancock. Loni's the only Democrat in this race, but I supported her in the primary because I thought she was the candidate with more vision and leadership. Those terms are typically empty, but in Loni's case, it meant that she took on difficult issues in creative ways, even if it didn't mean winning all the time. By contrast, her opponent championed little bills that gave her a tally of laws to her name but little real change.

14th Assembly: Nancy Skinner, though she has no competition. People I know like her, and she has a looong record as an environmentalist, but I don't know much about her. Still, her politics are in the right place.

Judge, Alameda Superior Court: Dennis Hayashi. His opponent is a former prosecutor. There are enough of those on the bench.

City of Oakland, Councilmember at large: Rebecca Kaplan. Rebecca's great, and I give her a real endorsement. That means, please tell other people to vote for her too!

AC Transit Director: Chris Peeples (and only because I've met him, so I am not even sure it warrants recommendation, although he seemed like a nice person)

Prop 1A: Yes. The basic lack of a rail system in CA is an embarassment. I was an avid Amtrak user in high school, traveling to DC, Boston and Providence often, and alone. It was safe, comfortable and fast. The fact that you can't get to LA, much less San Ho, from SF on the train is just baffling.

Prop 2: Yes

Prop 3: No. Not sure why this bothers me. My logic is awful here. I am tired of single issue bonds (but see Prop 1A) and I feel like medical care in CA/nationally needs an overhaul, not just childrens' hospital funding. Plus, the childrens' hospitals in Cali are among the most anti-union employers in the healthcare industry. So I am just not feeling Prop 3.

Prop 4: No. Anti-choice a-holes trot this out biennially. It aims to require parental notification before abortion. The fact is, an overwhelming majority of young women consult with a parent before having an abortion, and the ones who don't, feel that there are reasons why their parents will not be supportive. Those women turn to aunts, teachers, sisters, mentors. Parental notification just sends women underground to find abortions. If the lifers want to end abortion, they should support birth control, sex ed, and prenatal care, and a world where raising a child is not a debtors' prison for young people.

Prop 5: Yes. Rehab over incarceration = good.

Prop 6: No. Again with the micro-budgeting by ballot. Let the legislature control the purse strings.

Prop 7: No. I haven't fathomed the reasons, but am willing to go along with every major environmental group on their renunciation of Prop 7 and 10.

Prop 8: no, no, no, no, no, no, NO.

Prop 9: No. This is the supposed victims' rights prop. Its redundant, a poor use of money, and while it tugs on one's heart strings, its mean and vindicative. I am just not a retributionist.

Prop 10: No. Same reason as 7.

Prop 11: Yes. And here's one of these props where I part ways with my friends in Labor, who oppose this. Prop 11 would create a multi-partisan commission to study and redraw legislative districts, in order to end gerrymandering by the dominant party in the legislature. Labor (and other special interests) do not like this because it minimizes their voice in the process of creating legislative districts. My view is, we hate gerrymandering when the Republicans do it. Why is it okay or any less democratic when we do it? And I know that the existing process has resulted in districts which are represented by members of groups largely excluded in the past but is also means there is almost no competition for seats.

Prop 12: Yes. Notwithstanding my previous positions on micro-targeting budgets, I like veterans and think they can use a hand when they leave the service. Plus, I believe that investments in veterans pays dividends. During the recent passage of the newest GI Bill, I heard Jim Webb say that this country got back $7 for every $1 it spent on GI education and mortgage subsidy. Maybe it was more.

Prop N: Yes.

Prop NN: No. I am for more police, but the city of Oakland has not met the last hiring goals from 2002 yet, and can't manage its finances at all, so this is a bad way to tie up city money.

Prop OO: No. Pits parks and recs against after-school programs, and deprives the city of funding regardless of city needs. Let the city council do its J-O.

Prop VV: Yes.

Prop WW: Yes.

Still awake out there?

Concerted Activity Lives Another Day

Call Center workers walk out rather than read anti-Obama "robo-call"- esque script. The best part about this story for me is not the pro-Obama part of it; its the fact that workers are acting together against working conditions which offend them. This is the second direct action I have seen reported that relates to Obama. Earlier this month, West Virginia coal miners walked off the job when the NRA came to their workplace to film an anti-Obama video.

Given the historical precedent of American presidents and striking workers (think the Great Railroad Strike of 1877, Youngstown Sheet & Tube Co., and PATCO), even I am wary that there will be a return to collective action under an Obama administration. On the other hand, Obama is an organizer at heart, and he understands effective direct action as the fastest way to solve most problems. Its interesting to me that two small groups of people who are in Obama's demographic Unlikely list (Hoosiers and West Virginians) respond to him (or against McCain/NRA) so strongly as risk economic retribution from their employers. Given how hard it is to get people to act in their own economic interest, its remarkable to see people acting in their political interest.

Something about Nothing

One of our secretaries is doing GOTV work in New Mexico, and she's blogging about it at Jilala for Obama. She got the shake Obama's hand on Saturday night. How does he manage to be so sincere after nearly 2 years on the campaign trail? It's amazing.

That said, I am super-ready for this election season to be over. I am very anxious and almost sick of my own candidate. The closest feeling I can conjure is the way I felt in the days leading up to my wedding. For those of you who were there, you may recall that I was basically a basketcase, I was so nervous. I have never really figured out why. Anyway, in the days before, I was so excited and anxious that it made me mad at Mr. Scobie. How dare he make me this happy!? Obama being elected would not exactly be as awesome as marrying BD, but in the context of our current political/economic environment, its pretty awesome. And I feel like crap being so excited.

I joined Twitter today because Laura Ingalls twitters. After trying it out a couple of times, I think I have social networking system overload. I am now on blogger, facebook, linkedin and twitter. I don't bother with friendster. And sadly, I never even get to hang out with most of my friends. It bums me out. A dude with 700 facebook friends held and party, and only one friend came. Too depressing.

And This Is Funny

I am pleased to say I can't think of anyone to send this to, but maybe you can. Click here.

Why Doesn't The NYT Do Its Own Work

Today's New York Times has three articles (2 news and 1 op-ed) that cite Politico as the breaking source of news. That's a website. Isn't the New York Times like the biggest and most important paper in the universe? Do they no longer do investigative reporting? I know they do, but they feel particularly lagging right now.

Okay, now watch this:

My Yes On Prop 2 Post, plus more on Prop 8

Thanks for all the kind words on my No on Prop 8 post. Although I teared up when I wrote it, it wasn't hard to write. Especially not hard when you consider what it's like for loving couples to have their marital status subject to the whims of the Mormon Church, who are outspending everyone to pass Prop 8. For all y'all who didn't already click over to No on Prop 8 to donate, please do so now. Or you can donate at ActBlue Equality for All. Thank you.

Now, on to Prop 2. Prop 2 is one of those "only in California" propositions. Its easy to be dismissive and annoyed by the micro-legislating that happens in this state. Prop 2 requires farmers to provide animals with enough space in their cage to turn around. Not that big a deal. The people who oppose this measure - Corporate Ag, for example - say that it will make it cost-prohibitive to provide so much space to chickens, and that "foreign" farmers (like those in Nevada) will be able to provide lower cost eggs. These are myths. And its the same clap-trap that was floating around 100 years ago when The Jungle was written.

An analogous argument by the No on Prop 2 group goes like this: "We can't take the mercury/lead out of this product because then you'll buy it cheaper from China with lead in it." No one buys this argument, right? At least not any more.

I also think that this humane approach to our food is a healthier and better way for us to live, and leads to healthier lives for humans, as food consumers and as workers. Let me tell a story: For years, the farmworkers union lobbied for a law that would require growers to provide fresh water to farmworkers. Every year, the measure was soundly defeated by legislators who had been lobbied by growers who said that it was cost prohibitive, blah blah blah. Finally, it occurred to someone to amend the Penal Code, adding "and farmworkers" to a law which required that circus elephants have fresh water available to them at all times. Once the legislature realized that it was criminal to keep water from elephants, they were shamed politically into making sure workers got it. The way we treat animals in our society is a marker for the way we treat other human beings. Please vote yes on Prop 2.

My No On Prop 8 Post

One of these days, seriously, I will get around to discuss some down-ticket races. For now, I want to write about the other race that fills my mind, and my heart, Proposition 8.

Let me tell you a story: June 26, 1983, was my parents' 12th wedding anniversary. I was barely awake that morning when my dad told me to sit on the couch. I had been away at camp the previous week, and was wiped out from the mediocre food, very little sleep and the terrifying tales of the campers that died before me at Camp Dick Runyon. My sister and I say lumpenly on the couch, too sleepy to be curious. I don't remember the exact speech, but my father told us that he was moving out and that he and my mom were splitting up. I remember that they said it wasn't our fault, but they had never fought with one another that I could recall (well there were a couple of instances but nothing ongoing), so it must be our fault.

Later, my father called a good friend who shared their wedding anniversary to tell him the sorry news. I was laying on my parents' bed listening. My father was systematically dismantling a life that they had chosen together.

1983 was a bad year to be a gay man coming out of the closet, but it was also the first year that it was really possible, at least in rural Indiana. In November, my mom moved us back east, and my dad moved to Fort Wayne, where there was a surprisingly supportive gay-ish community. Although I knew my father's boyfriends over the years, I never told anyone that he was gay until I got to high school, and even then only told a couple of friends. By college, it made me a novelty. My father's journey was probably harder before that day in 1983, and my mother's was harder after it.

Now I am happily married. And the one thing that I wish for both of my parents is that they could have had this marriage when they were young. An honest marriage. An in-love marriage. Now that I have children, I have the same hope for them. And I now live in a rare place in history, and in geography, and in the law, where that is possible, no matter who they fall in love with.

I highly doubt that I have readers who support Prop 8, which would write discrimination into the California constitution by banning gay marriage. You probably already knew how I felt about this, and were planning to vote NO on Prop 8. But please take the extra step, and please DONATE to No on Prop 8.

Liking Clinton Again

Just as some predicted, the wounds inflicted on the Democratic Party by the prolonged primary season have started to heal. All but a few high profile Clinton supporters have gone over to Obama, and most people, including Obama, acknowledge that the long pre-season made Obama a much better debater and candidate. Without that primary season, Obama would never have known the extent of his weakness among Appalachian voters in PA, for example.

So are we ready to like the Clintons again? Bill Richardson is, even if Bill Clinton doesn't feel the same way. And while some grouse that Hillary doesn't seem to be doing much for Obama, I suspect she is being very helpful to him in targeted ways, and being extremely helpful to her Congressional colleagues, buying back a lot of good will with her fundraising talents.

So what about me? Can I like them again? I had been feeling neutral on Hillary, and annoyed with Bill Clinton for his failure to step up for Obama, and then I read this bit in Politico. From th Al Smith dinner, by Jonathan Martin:

And on the former president's odd pledge to avoid campaigning for Obama until after the Jewish High Holidays, McCain "you've got to admire that ecumenical spirit."

"I just know Bill would like to be out there now stumping for Barack until the last hour of the last day," he said. "Unfortunately, he is constrained by his respect for any voters who might be observing the Zoroastrian New Year."

Hillary got a huge laugh at this.

This is a pretty insightful vignette. Bill really wanted Hillary to win. She didn't. For the sake of her career, she needs to get over her loss. But does Bill? In fact, if he got over it faster than she did, wouldn't that be a dog sort of thing to do? That's what loving husbands do. They stay mad for you. Everyone has always wondered at the Clintons' marriage, wondering if its one of convenience, or love. I think now love. He really really wanted this for her, believed that she'd be the best. Why should he have to give that up now? Obama would feel the same way if Michelle were in Hillary's position. This really humanizes Bill Clinton for me.

Dare I admit it? I may yet like Bill Clinton again.

Inside Joke

Who is T&A Lady's favorite world leader?

European Commission President Jose Manuel Beeroso.

Lemme tell ya, I was cracking myself up all the way to work with that one.

DARE to Say No (to McCain)

Check out Partnership for a McCain-Free White House. Now I just hope they re-do that "brain on drugs" ad with the eggs.

A Few More Thoughts

And I won't embarrass myself by enumerating them and then forgetting what they all were.

Betty White, f-in hilarious:



The Reverse Bradley effect. I think this could happen. My only evidence, aside from what I read in the blog-o-net, is that my mom and stepdad in Virginia support Obama.* They would admit it to pollsters on the phone, but my mom has described certain perceived pressures in her neighborhood which would make her reluctant to boast a yard sign for Obama. And George Packer has an anecdote in an article in The New Yorker about voters in southern Ohio about a young man he meets (who answers the door in his underwear actually) who admits to being an Obama supporter, and says he knows others, but wouldn't admit it. The young man didn't go on record, either. I can understand this. I remember in high school that taking an unpopular position (like writing "No Blood for Oil" on your backpack during Operation Desert Storm) could illicit actual anger and derision from other 18 year olds. If you didn't have gumption/chutzpah/brass balls, it could be intimidating. But as Norman from The Wire says, "The sanctity of the voting booth is the cornerstone of our democracy." I just hope my fellow Americans get over it, and do the right thing.

* This isn't shocking coming from my mother. I just hope she isn't annoyed that I have broadcast her preference on the inter-tubes. Like Norman from The Wire, my mother would never disclose who she actually voted for, usually saying, "I wrote in Angela Davis" when I asked her who she voted for.


Some minor ways I am noticing that the economy is way f***ed up: My husband has begun to worry; there were only 3 tables occupied tonight at our local spaghetti joint (called Bottle Running by my son because the above poster is on the wall there) when usually the place is jammed; the parking lot in our office has more spots available, leading to conjecture that there was a layoff in the company on the floor above us. Also my 401(k) is down probably 10%, and that's great news. Awesome timing on quitting my job, huh? I don't think that's what they mean when they say "timing the market."

Unless something incredibly hilarious happens at the wedding I am attending, don't expect any posts this weekend. I am flying to Detroit very early tomorrow. I have to go to a party directly from the airport, and (I've never done this before) so I have to dress nicely for the flight. Usually I am either in work clothes or looking like a hot mess, so I am unusually anxious about this. I have no idea why dressing nicely for a long distance flight freaks me out. Maybe because it is something I secretly criticize other people for doing. What is her deal? Why is she dressed like that?, I hiss, in my mind. I'm mean like that.

And no, I am not drinking.

Two Other Thoughts

Where is all the money? I am referring here to the global economic downturn. Was all that "value" just on paper, or are the super-rich hording their money or what?

Oh shit. I can't remember my other thought.

A Lot of Things Rattling Around in My Head

I am maga-busy these days, making it hard to focus on blogging anything more than a few sentences at a time. So I will stick with what I know, and just blog about all the topics that pop into my head.

• McCain wants to suspend the mandatory age for 401(k) withdrawals. Putting aside whether this is a prudent proposal, doesn't it seem like its extremely micro-targeted? The target group being people who are about to turn 70 and a half, of course. How many of those folks were not going to vote for McCain already, who would be swayed by this?
  
• A haiku for the lady I saw in SF today: Lady on the street/where did your eyebrows go to?/Is your forehead cold?
• Ryan Lizza described Obama as a "left conservative", a phrase coined by Norman Mailer, in a New Yorker podcast I heard the other day. Thought that was interesting, and accurate.
• Just as Bill Clinton was considered our 'first Black President', I think Obama will be considered our 'first female President.' He operates in such an empathic, consensus-building mode of leadership that we haven't seen before. It also has a certain poetic justice to it.
  
• My brilliant kid (the older one) asked the other day where helium comes from. I actually had to look it up. A co-worker suggested I say, "From the Party Warehouse", but frankly the Big Bang** is easier to explain.

** All helium in the universe was created in the Big Bang.

An update on Norbert

No, not Norbert the storm. My mother reports: “At Lacordaire during my tenure (9/1964 to 6/1967), Sister Norbert, O.P. was an RN and our school nurse. She wobbled like a weeble and slowly toddled the halls like a three-toed sloth. She was dubbed 'Sister Morbid'.” Mom offers to check Lives of the Saints, if anyone is interested in the origins. I, for one, am interested.

 

That One

I am sure you have heard that McCain called Obama "that one" during the debate last night. Here's what McCain's campaign had to say in reaction to the, well, reactions:

Nicolle Wallace, a spokesman for Mr. McCain, said in a statement: “I am shocked that at a moment of national crisis, where our economy is on the minds of every single person, I am shocked that they are again proving to be the fussiest campaign in American history.”

Shocked at fussiness? Chick needs to chill out. Try being shocked that this war is still going on, that we just set aside $700 billion for companies whose CEOs may not take the money if it means giving up the golden parachute, that people beat children, that the Cubs made it to the playoffs. There's a lot to be shocked about in this world, but "fussiness" does not cut muster. I don't know how these people keep themselves in such high dudgeon. I guess this is what losing looks like. But doesn't all the shock lose its shock value after a while?

Oh, and for the headline alone.

Your Obama Blog of the Day

Yes We Can (Hold Babies). Adorable.

(Giggle)(Head shake)

From Matier and Ross:

And finally: First, the big new Federal Building in San Francisco was late and over budget. Then workers complained about needing sunglasses and umbrellas indoors to shield them from the glaring sun.

Now comes word about another bit of embarrassment at the $144 million "green" behemoth at Seventh and Mission streets.

Officials recently installed four giant, stainless-steel plaques near the entryway in recognition of the many planners, architects and others who helped make the eco-friendly building possible.

Only it wasn't long before office workers were making pilgrimages to the wall - and snickering at the engraved name of one "Hugh G. Rection."

That plaque is now gone. Of course, so are all the others, temporarily - seems they were installed crooked.

More of Nothing

Debate: Tried to watch it. McCain annoys me too much.

Feeling unproductive? This factoid should make you feel worse: rapper Too Short got his start doing "special requests", which are customized rap songs for individuals. At the VH1 Hip Hop Honors, he claimed to have done about 50,000 special requests when he was starting out. 50,000 individualized rap songs. I cannot write one. I can barely write discovery responses these days. Or emails.

There's a hurricane called Norbert? What are the hell?

Last night, I woke up around 2am to get Q some milk. I don't know if it was something else outside or me walking around in the middle of the night (some windows were open) but a skunk sprayed in our backyard. It was awful. I almost cried. The house was totally infused with skunk funk. And that's on top of all the unattractive boy smells that already permeate my life. I was wishing for a desensitized nose, then, my friends, also. Anyway, now I hate skunks, even if they eat snails.

Observations

I was walking around a mall-like location today, and I was listening to these teenagers talking, and all I could think was, "Man, what a waste of words!" It's like, torrential stupidity. Verbal diarrhea. I won't even worry you with the details. Just trust me.

Check out this cool website 30 Reasons. I like it.

I was wondering today, has anyone gotten an Obama tattoo yet? Yes, is the answer. In fact, a lot of people have.

That's all for now.

Tryna Calm Down

Friend sent this to me, don't know where its from. Very helpful, as I am stressing out big time about this election.

(Congrats Red Sox, now back to my regularly scheduled freak-out)

Hecka Funny

Some dudes have devised an Obama Fist Bumps Photo Booth Fundraiser. Click here to see the photos, and you'll understand what I'm talking about.

One other thought: So. Much. White. People.

If you want to feature this awesome photo booth at your fundraiser, let me know. I can hook you up with their erstwhile booking agent.

Get Thee To The Nunnery

Our ol' pal Jay has a piece at the unfortunately named Monkeybicycle.net.

I would go there, Jay, if I were in a study abroad program in Prague.

UPDATE: Jay is no joke. Mr. Scobie reports that he recalls discussing this with Jay at the Old Town Ale House in Chicago in 1992.

VP debate post

Pali did not crap the bed. Sorry for the idiom, mom and mother in law.

This must be the best looking VP debate EVER. Biden is a silver fox. And I know from whence I speak.

UPDATE: Wish I'd seen this before the debate. Thanks Mr. Pat.

UPDATE 2: I just remembered something funny that I heard Hendrick Hertzberg say this morning. He was talking about what he expected from Biden in the debate, and he said that he thought Biden would have all the awkwardness of a happily married man in debating Sarah Palin. He went on to explain (after Dorothy Wickenden [this was in a New Yorker podcast] expressed surprise) that he meant that Biden did not spend a lot of time thinking about how to connect with other women. This is an off-topic point, but that is a really interesting insight into how men understand one another. It might also be a good indicator of whether you have a happily married husband on your hands. In the end, I think Biden did great. He treated Palin like a worthy sparring partner, at least as much as she was McCain's surrogate, and didn't concern himself with understanding her, because, of course, who the hell could?

Various and Sundry

Having little in the way of wit or surplus charm today, herewith is today's blog post:

1. The formal structure of the previous phrasing arises from the fact that I spent this evening writing a, what was it called, First and Final Account and Report and Petition for Final Distribution and For Statutory Compensation. I would say, "Just shoot me" but then some other luckless chap will have to write one for me. It's a probate case.

2. For a good preview of what its like to debate Sarah Palin. I love the phrase "glittering generalities." I think I need to learn to speak in those too.

3. I changed the look of my blog because I was bored with the way it was before. I don't know how to write html so I have to use the blogger templates. A buddy recently recommended typepad (another software "platform" I think is what its called), but I fear change, so I will impotently toggle templates til my brain re-engages with the actual content of this blog, and then the color scheme won't matter again.

He's Everywhere

Western Swing was good enough to bring to my attention the fact that I am not the only Nelson Marans "fan" out there. A DailyKos diarist has run afoul of Mr. Marans, who has accordingly blogged about it. Mr. Marans is clearly out of his league in a foreign policy debate about anything that requires more than skin-deep knowledge of the topic. He doesn't support Obama. He either (a) writes physical letters to periodicals, suggesting he is out of touch with technology, or (b) he is facile with basic technology, like Yahoo Mail, permitting him to email indiscriminately. Those are 3 ways that he resembles the McCain-Palin ticket. Just pointing it out.

Live Blogging the Post-Debate

If I knew what was good for me (and I don't), I would just got to bed. I didn't get to watch the debate live because Li thinks the "Obama show" is boring. In this case, I have to agree. I watched about an hour of it, and maybe because I am basically obsessed with politics, I felt like there was nothing new. First debate, check. On to the bailout.

Having been to Oxford recently, I wonder at a few things. Like where are Howard Dean and Vernon Jordan staying tonight? There aren't a lot of options. I am sort of tickled that they may be staying at the bed and breakfast where I stayed. They'll probably gain 3 pounds at breakfast. Also, there seemed to be football crowd-sized crowds rallying. Is there a game tomorrow?

All right, no interesting insights to see here. Move along.

If You Didn't Buy the Bridge to Nowhere. . .

I can't figure out how to link to this so I am just reprinting something my cousin had on his Facebook page. Funny.

SUBJECT: REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
DEAR AMERICAN:

I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.

I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 800 BILLION DOLLARS US. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER, IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.

I AM WORKING WITH MR. PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY. AS A SENATOR, YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S. THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% SAFE.

THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED A BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED.

PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@REPUBLIC

OFAMERICATREASURY.USA SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THAT INFORMATION, I WILL RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS THAT WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,
MINISTER OF TREASURY PAULSON

Another Gift, and On the Same Day!

Yesterday, a neighbor brought to my attention this LA Times article. The Berkeley Bowl is imposing lifetime bans on people who "sample" the food without buying it. Good for them. Even the offenders admit its stealing.

Store manager Larry Evans says the policy is a fair response to doctors, lawyers and college professors who help themselves to bags of cookies, nuts and vitamins, stick their fingers in pies and guzzle from bottles of sake, assuming the rules don't apply to them.

"There's a sense of entitlement to this town," Evans said. "People think, 'If I want to do it, I'll do it, just try and stop me.' "

This does not mean that I will go to the Berkeley Bowl again (its been over 5 years since I last shopped there) but I will hate them one iota less for attempting to impose some order on the mayhem of Berkeley.

Some Days, You Get a Little Gift

The Tree Sitters are being fined for the costs associated with their nasty little public disturbance. You remember the Tree Sitters: I blogged about them here and here. You'll need to chuckle for a moment, because my next Berkeley story may make you sick to your stomach.

A woman I work with (who lives in Bkly) has a unit on her property that she rents to another woman. Let's call the first woman "A" and the second woman "B". In preparing to have the unit renovated, A learned that B was a horder, and it took some doing to get the place cleared out enough to have the work done. Fast forward. After completing recent electrical work, the electrician reports to A that she has some water damage below her bathroom. A calls the plumber. The plumber investigates, and notifies A that the toilet has not been used for years. Literally years. The toilet is bone dry, most of the works are missing from the tank, and the rubber pieces have cracked and crumbled from years of aridity.

What's that about? Where's the, you know, everything?

As for my annual Burning Man screed: I am worried about my blood pressure, and if I write about such infuriating topics I might burst a blood vessel. But you can find earlier posts here. I will tell you this: I was talking to a woman who works for a high profile, well-regarded non-profit which works to safeguard the Constitution (hint: it rhymes with A-C-L-goo) and she told me that they went to Burning Man to protect free speech. That galls me more than their defense of Nazis and guns. Of course, no one there wanted to trample free speech because people who hate free speech don't want to poop in the desert with idiots all week, so they were sort of bored. She did feel that they did protect the 4th Amendment, since drug busts are the primary occupation of law enforcement at the Festival. Which makes sense, since drugs, and not "free speech", are the point of that stupid affair.

Loved Twice

I want to give BIG ups to my neighbor and friend Lisa, whose efforts to provide clothes to newborns in need is getting recognition it deserves. The Oakland Tribune has this article, "Oakland mom a champion of newborns" today, and she's also this month's Comcast "Hometown Hero". You can support Lisa's non-profit Loved Twice Baby Clothing by donating on her website. On top of doing all this great stuff, Lisa is a cool woman and great mom, who will pour you a glass of wine just for walking by her house.

Typing With All My Fingers

I am now sitting firmly at a computer once again. Having reviewed my previous posts, I fear that you think I was drunk all last week. I say that somewhat wishfully. Although it didn't pass in an alcoholic haze, the week was like time outside of itself. Nothing in my normal life happened, but I had plenty of time to meditate on such timeless topics as death, parenthood, and memory.

One thing my time in Albany reminded me is that an unhappy family is truly ripe for literary exploration. My father's family, at each generation, seems like the most typical tale, and yet their insanity makes them far more interesting (to consider writing about) than my mother's funnier, larger crew. There's my Grandma Egitto, the Immigrant Girl who marries for security and is yet never happy nor secure. There's my grandfather: the Soldier, the Small Business Owner, first generation American. An Everyman, yet no one can describe him at his own funeral. His sons, the Rock 'n' Roller turned Entrepreneur, and the Prodigal Son, whose marriage, children and coming out were never embraced by his parents. And then there's my sister and I. Okay, there's nothing particularly interesting about us. But I would seriously write a novel about the rest of this family if it didn't involve traveling to Albany again to research the area.

The day after I got back, my little(r) guy took a spill and bumped his head. Out of precaution, we went to the doctor, who sent us to the ER. Not sure why a pediatrician can't order a CAT scan without sending us to the ER in an ambulance, but anyway, that is how Q and I spent Friday. So I am woefully behind in every sector of my life. Get back on the horse tomorrow, I figure.

Some thoughts

Lots of ron paul signs.

All the houses still have their original siding from 55 years ago. Very sterile.

My father can just doesn't stop talking. Extremely maudlin. Aside from the emotions he's just like his father. And the talking, I guess. My grandfather was not the chatty sort.

We have 11 hours 40 minutes left in this town. We are on the way to our second cemetery of the day. "To see where Grandma Egitto is buried" ??? I feel like a teenager on a family vacation. Its good exercise for my eyes to be rolling them around so much.

Isn't It Funny?

How 'regulation' became acceptable literally overnight? Funny that.

Spent the day at funeral related activities. While the funeral was in no way funny the day has had its moments. Blogging with my thimbs is difficult so if I am so moved, I will share later. All in all, a depressing scene, the Capital Region.

Me, The Winker

I have decided that it would be highly rude to live-blog a funeral but that was a tough journalistic decision. Visits with family are tough, but here's a toxic combo: family you don't know very well + Loudonville, NY + maudlin-ness + LaQuinta + death = inappropriate giggling ad, yes, winking. I cannot stop winking at my sister. What is up with families? Who ever suggested that they were a rich source of drama, not a endless fount of giggles? Chekhov? You are wrong here.

Appropos of nothing: have you seen this M&M ad with the sexy M&M? Ewww. I don't want to eat sexy M&Ms.

Whadya Think of This?

Obama has an ad out that plays up McCain's inability to use a computer. The wingers have countered that McCain can't type because he was tortured in 'Nam. I was fretting about the backlash of this on Obama, til I read Undercover Black Man on the topic. So what do you think? Is the Obama campaign that brilliant, or will it really boomerang on them? If they are that brilliant, are you disgusted? I'm not, because I don't think that McCain is incapable of being president because of his disabilities. I think he's incapable of being president because he's a sell-out nut job who lives in a bubble in the past.

Haven't Got Time for The Pain

Like many Democrats, I have been panicking over the past few days about our election chances, and this panic had an eerie familiarity. I placed it today. It's the pre-2004 Red Sox panic. That's right, Democrats are the new Red Sox. Heading into the 2004 playoffs, the Red Sox hadn't won a World Series in 84 years. They'd come close many times, including 2003. They'd even made it to the World Series in 1986, but were beaten by the Mets. Bucky Frackin' Dent. In the 2004 pennant championship series, the Yankees were up 3 games to 0. No team had ever pulled from that far behind to go on to the World Series, and yet the Red Sox pulled it off, and went on to win the World Series. Their change of luck was confirmed last year when they won the 2007 World Series. Those lovable losers just ain't losers any more.

Democrats are the Red Sox of the 2004 playoffs. We come close to winning, but we never win. Bill Clinton was our 1986 World Series. We made it there and then. . . nothin'. No healthcare reform, the end of welfare. Sure, the economy was good, but there were a lot of complicated reasons for that, and none seems like a victory the Democrats could take credit for. Its like we haven't won a World Series since 1964, and that's a long-ass time ago. But this year, it can still be different. We haven't lost yet, so stop your bitchin', steal second base, and get this series back on track. We are going to win. John McCain Sucks!

And another thing: my grandfather passed away* and my sister and I are traveling to Albany NY this week. This will either put a crimp in my blogging or I will be dispatching regularly from my blackberry about my ventures. We shall see. I just downloaded Spore to my ipod, so the former is more likely. I can already tell that it is extremely addictive, even if the wheel makes it a little hard to play.

* I appreciate your condolences in advance. He was very old (91) and very ill. Both his life and his passing were a blessing to him, I think. Its looking increasingly likely that both Mr. Scob and I will live to be almost 200 years, based on the longetivity and health of our grandparents.

Things You Can Do To Help

Just to loop back to my recent panic attack about Obama, I wanted to let you know about some more opportunities you have to help out.

Steve-A-Rino has this call to arms at his blog Glossaria. Well, not actually arms, of course, but he has a great idea for a quick fundraiser to put a Planned Parenthood ad on the air to rebut the McCain nonsense about Obama's support for education for children on understanding "bad touching".



Another thing you can do: Come with me to Nevada for the election! I will be traveling with about 80 other attorneys to Vegas or Reno to monitor polls during voting. Lemme know. Come on! Party on, Dude! Wheeee-ew! Coyote Ugly! It'll rock!

My laziest blog post ever

I am blogging from my mobile device so I can blog lying down. So sue me.

This morning at the gym I watched a little of the Today show and they played a clip of McCain making the lipstick-on-a-pig joke about Hillary Clinton some months back. I sort of thought that would put an end to this bullshit narrative but no such luck. I haven't seen or heard of the clip again. The thrall the media has with its manufactured crises prevents actual news, or even proof of non-news from getting out.

On the other hand, they also had a reunion of the cast from Airplane. Plus Ann Curry is still hot after all these years. So Today Show: thumbs up. The rest: thumbs down.

Your Bush Presidency at Work

Usually a news article puts its juiciest stuff right up front, but this article in the New York Times, Wide-Ranging Ethics Scandal Emerges at Interior Dept., is juicy the whole way through. Its so salacious that a Hollywood producer might even feel uncomfortable making it into a movie. Or would reject it as too over-the-top and unrealistic.

I think this is just one illustration of the extent to which the Bush Presidency is the Oligarchy of Big Oil and nothing more.

In Other Political News

My cousin Tom Costello won his primary yesterday to become the Democratic Party candidate for Lt. Governor of Vermont. He faces the incumbent Brian Dubie, a Republican, in the November election. Congratulations to Tom and Good Luck in November.

Time to Get on the Stick

Unlike my Wire obsession, I am not even going to be meek and apologetic about this. There are eight weeks left to this election season. At the end of it, lots of people will vote. Think for a second what it would be like to have John McCain as President. It makes you shudder, doesn't it? It freaks the SHIT out of me.

I spent the whole day in Nevada today, meeting with the Obama campaign about voter protection efforts, and I am really freaked out that we are going to lose this election. Not because of what I saw of the Obama campaign today, but because of who I didn't see, and what I didn't see. I didn't see any bumper stickers, or signs. I did see lots of problems and misinformation on the voter election website, and too much stuff to do and not enough people to do it all.

Here's what I did see: Road signs for a guy running for Congress whose platform is: Win the War, Flat Taxes, Secure Our Borders. Query why he feels that Nevada needs its borders secure from its neighbors (it doesn't touch Mexico) but he clearly knows he'll get traction with that. And if the Republicans get traction, that's the sort of horseshit we'll be seeing proposed as "policy".

SO: What are you going to do about it? Everyone has to do something. Especially those of you who live in Virginia, ahem, where you could make a huge difference. Here are some suggestions:

1. Donate money.
2. Get a bumper sticker or lawn sign.
3. Volunteer to call your neighbors.
4. Host a party.
Its very easy to do these last two by signing up with www.my.barackobama.com. You can find events and volunteer opportunities in minutes. VERY EASY.

Not comfortable with the outright campaigning? How about being a pollworker in your county? Call your county election department or registrar of voters and volunteer to work at a poll in your neighborhood. Its very important this year to have people working who are facilitating a full vote. There will be lots of new voters, especially around places like, say, William & Mary, just for instance, who could use a supportive pollworker rather than a blue hair who tries to shoo them away.

Sorry to be so extremely earnest about this but I am wicked stressed out about this election. Its more important than donating to any charity right now, more important than fixing your leaky faucet or changing your light bulbs to CFL. I will even give you a personal dispensation on not recycling this week if you go do something for this campaign. Thank you. Back to our regularly scheduled snarky program when we return.

Friday Morning Wake-Up Call

I Said I Would Blog About It, So. . .

I promised last week that I would blog about my job. In fact, what I will blog about is that I am leaving my job. Tuesday was my 8-year anniversary at my job, and I am ready to do something different. Not sure what, and I am open to ideas. Very open. I am thinking about political stuff, since I loved the campaign, or non-profit work, since it feels simpatico (good work, slightly dysfunctional). I have stayed at my job longer than I wanted to out of loyalty to my co-workers, whom I love and respect tremendously, and my clients, whom I respect and feel that I serve very well. But loyalty doesn't get you all the way to retirement anymore.

One thing that has been mentioned a couple of times is that I should just blog full-time. I don't think I am suited for it, and frankly, I only have about 40 regular readers. But purely out of curiosity, would you, my readers, accept efforts on my behalf to do this blog thing more economically?

My Impressions

I got to watch a tad of the Palin speech and here are my impressions:

1. Levi Johnston is living the American male nightmare. Imagine: You're 17 again. You get your Christian girlfriend pregnant. Her mom is nominated for the Vice Presidency. Suddenly, you're getting married, your mySpace page has been yanked, and you are on the stage of the Republican National Convention, naked. And chewing gum. You wake screaming.

Even I have had this nightmare.

2. If she were a Democrat, I would love her. Okay, wait, I would still be a little wierded out by the parading of pregnant daughter, but I would be forgiving, and own it the way the Repubs have, because being pro-choice means being pro-choice, so when a young woman decides to keep her baby, I want that baby to be born into the best and most loving world we can provide for it. So I support Bristol's choice, if she had one. And Sarah Palin, if she were a Democrat, would rock. From the sass to the incredibly cute baby, she'd be my hero.

But she ain't. Her politics blow chunks. She's vindicative, she's a book burner. She's a secessionist, she's the CEO of America's welfare queen. BUT. . . .

She's a great politician. This was a great decision on her part, to accept the VP nomination, warts and all. Here's her brilliant gamble: If she and McCain win, she's Vice President of the United States of America. A-Number One candidate in 2012 or 2016, depending on when McCain bows out. If they lose, she's the right-wing poster girl. She goes back to AK to serve out her relatively easy (compared to VP) job, and she's the beautiful, funny, sweet, bright voice of the Right. And in 2016, she's the standard bearer. Trig will be 9, Track will be Colonel Palin, and the girls will be grown up enough to campaign for her. She will be a shoo-in. 8 weeks of media scrutiny is worth it for that kind of power.

Gross

Sorry, sent from my phone. Click below. Not so gross that you'll barf or anything, but gross.

http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/Most-Emailed-Photos-last-wish-El-Nuevo-Dia-dead-on/ss/1756/im:/080819/481/e4342933128e4f7c9d8e0ab6e2c2e871/

Celebrity Look-alike: Sarah Palin Edition

TMZ has a really funny slide show of Sarah Palin celebrity look-alikes. Enjoy! And thanks M.

Two Americas

Hi and welcome to a reader who showed up on my doorstep tonight (not in a creepy way). My kids didn't go to bed til 9:40 so I couldn't hack going back out for a beer. But feel free to comment now. You all can. And did you know you can get my blog on an RSS feed? I barely know what that is and I certainly don't know how you can set it up.

Okay, to the topic at hand. Listening to the reaction from the press and my friends about the Palin pick, it strikes me that Barack Obama was wrong. There are two Americas. Both happen to be reeling with joy at the choice of Sarah Palin for VP. On one hand, you have the rightwingers, aka "The Base", who are over the moon that there's a 100% completely anti-choice creationist a heartbeat from being Leader of the Free World. On the other, there are the rest of us, who can't believe our good luck that such a 100% complete babe-in-the-woods (and no, TK, I don't mean that in a double entendre way) would be picked. These are the folks who, like me, assume that no one wants to vote for someone whose tenure as PTA president is her foreign policy background (because I am sure the Wasilla Warriors played the Whitehorse Horsemen in the All-Americas Hockey Finals in 2002). And neither side has even the slightest clue what the other side is talking about.

Battlestar Galactic Fans Untie

I've already received the email with the pics of John McCain looking like Colonel Tigh and Sarah Palin compared to Laura Roslin. But why not the equally obvious Cindy McCain-Ellen Tigh comparison?

Overheard

Four kids at McDonald's:
"How long you been out for Obama?"
"For like 11 yars" (that's not a spelling error)
"What? You only like 23!"

Ya Gotta Admit It

Things are moving towards me being right. While this teen pregnancy won't sink Palin, the fringe-nut secessionist party stuff sure doesn't help. Palin, of course, won't apologize when she bows out; she'll just say she doesn't want to be a distraction to the real issues in this important election year, or some bulls***. And then Romney? Because you know Colin Powell has said no.

Other reactions to today's news:

LC: Bristol is a slang term for breasts in England.
AD: If Sarah Palin knew she was going to keep the baby, why'd she have amnio to discover he had Down's?
AG: [stepfather] said the 17 year-old was a wild one. Ha!

Me: How do you have FIVE children and neglect to inform any of them, but especially the older ones, how babies are made? Or does Palin still not know herself? Forget the abortion question. She's consistent on that. But silence on the basic plumbing is a problem. Think how ignorant she'll want everyone else's kids to be.

Oh, well. We won't have Sarah Palin to kick around much longer.

I don't think Palin is in my celebrity look-alike chain of likeness. She's on the other side of Fey from me.

Sarah Palin = Harriet Miers

It's pronounced Pay-lin, by the way. Also, Nevada is pronounced Nev-aah-da, not Nev-ahh-da. It rhymes with cat or vat. I had to be told that recently, as I am inexplicably the AFL-CIO Voter Protection Coordinator for Nev-aah-dah.

Back to bizness: My theory about the Palin pick is that it just demonstrates what low regard for the vice presidency McCain has, and how little he understands the office. While its true that it has been traditionally under-utilized, one cannot argue that Cheney leaves it a ceremonial position. McCain should know that, but doesn't. Instead, he has joked that the VP attends funerals and checks up on the health of the POTUS every day. Palin has an equally dim view of the job, asking What does the VP even do, anyway?

I've been wondering whether I should feel bad for criticizing Palin for going back to work 3 days after her son was born. In my heart, I think its a terrible thing to do to a child, and to do to one's self. Take a freakin' break, lady, you just had a baby. Even the easy ones are tough for the first week or two, for godsake. But maybe, my feminist demon-on-the-shoulder says, some women don't want to be home with their baby, and believe that whoever is home - dad, gramma, auntie, nanny - is a more caring option. And in those cases, it's probably true. If you don't want to be home with your child, then its good when you leave that child with someone you trust to love him. I feel that. But do Republicans? Does Anne Coulter? It's just bizarre to me.

Here's a theory I had briefly considered: Palin is not expected to last as the VP nominee. (I also wonder if there's a mechanism in the RNC by-laws to refuse to accept the nominee's VP pick). To quote rwallnerny:

What if next Tuesday or Wednesday, after Palin gets beat up by the press a bit (which they will, the press *hates* candidates being put up for national office which they haven't brutally vetted first), she comes out to the podium and tearfully "announces" that she is declining the nomination for vp to spend more time with her five month old baby. McCain accepts her resignation the ticket, says he was proud to have picked a woman, and then picks Romney as her replacement.

The reason he'd do this, is to steal the spotlight from Obama after The Speech but still get the actually presidential-ish Romney on the ticket.

Come on. Every long weekend needs a conspiracy theory.

And even if it wasn't planned that way, it might work out that way. Palin may shape up to be the next Harriet Miers.

UPDATE: The reason I didn't do a straightforward compare and contrast on these two is that they are actually polar opposites. Harriet Miers had decades of service to Republicans but was viewed as suspect and insufficiently doctrinaire. Palin has like 10 minutes of public service as a throw-the-bums-out Repub and she's a darling of the grassroots because she didn't abort a baby with Down's. Huh? While its true Harriet Miers didn't have the chops to be a Supreme Court justice, she's certainly better qualified than Palin to be the VP. So I am hereby starting a Facebook group: Harriet Miers for Vice Presidential Nominee.

We're In The Money

Well, probably not me and mine.

Calculate your Obama tax cut.

what the ...?

Did you know that Sarah Palin’s kids are named Bristol, Piper, Track, Trig, and Willow? And that she went back to work three days after her baby was born in April? And that he was born with Down’s Syndrome? Is her vagina made of steel? Or is her heart made of stone?

My favorite part about the Democrats’ glee is that the fact that they are calling her Geraldine Quayle.

What Does McCain Believe?

And I don't mean that in the flip-flop sense that everyone's been asking. Reading this interview he did with Time magazine certainly leaves me with the impression that McCain believes . . . he's going to lose.

Another Promise

On to my next topic. The babe dad. What's that you ask? First of all, its Mr. Scobie. Yeah yeah yeah. This isn't a love post about him. Its a post about the fact that all the dads on the block have started exercising. The central activity is Monday night basketball. Pretty much all of them go as often as they can. Which is cool. But recently, they've each individually started working out. Not all of them. But Mr. Scobie is running regularly with another dad from up the street, who has lost weight. Another dad has been doing boot camp for 2 months and has lost some weight. That's 43% of the dads! And another one already worked out regularly. They are shaping up to be an in-shape crew.

So what's really going on on Monday nights? My hubs comes back from "the gym" pretty sweaty but there's more than one way to make a guy sweat. I briefly considered that there was a collaborative effort to conceal numerous affairs, but frankly that doesn't seem like its this crew's style. That leaves two other plausible explanations (I mean, they can't all be gay, right?): They want to look good for their wives, or they want to look good for eachother, on the basketball court. As pleased as all the wives surely are, I think the latter explanation is the more likely.

And here's the conundrum: The wives have no similar incentive to start working out for eachother. Which leaves us with the incentive of working out for ourselves or for our husbands. And since our husbands are working out for eachother, that won't get us out of bed at 5:45 to go running.

I Am A Promise Keeper

But not in a creepy way. I am just returning to blog posts long promised, that's all.

While we were on vacation at the loveliest beach house I've ever been allowed to enter, I actually got to read a couple of books. I read Gang Leader for A Day by Sudhir Venkatesh and I read Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer, by Warren St. John. Good books both but I preferred Rammer Jammer. Which is hard to admit, since its about a topic I hate nearly more than any other: college football. It's not quite as good as Moneyball, which actually caused me to become a baseball fan, but it made me a fan of fans. At least Bama fans. But maybe I was already a fan of those folks.

Gang Leader, on the other hand, did not make me a fan of sociologists. I had hoped it would be a Wire-esque expose of leadership of a drug organization, but it was really more about the central conflict of sociology. Should it be more centered on statistics and scientific methods, which are very poor at capturing "true" or "real" stories of people (in this case poor people), or should it rely on ethnography, where the sociologist "lives among" his subjects to fully appreciate their way of life?

The biggest problem, made very clear by this book, is the so-called Heiseberg principle effect on the research. Venkatesh is aware of the problem. He relates several instances where his subject misuse him, sometimes while simultaneously warning him that he might be used, and the uncertainty that introduces into his research. But he relates it all in this faux naif voice, as though it never occurred to him that the problems he encounters or witnesses existed. To paraphrase (and mock) one particular example, he'd say something like, "What did I know? I was just a middle class Indian kid from Southern California. I didn't realize ghettos were considered dangerous." In an effort to avoid sounding like an academic (he teaches at Columbia), he comes across like Gomer Pyle.

Good Stuff

A new blog for the list to our right: Cake Wrecks. Freakin' awesome.

Completely Random

When I get old, I promise I will not wear:

1. Red hats
2. Anything purple
3. drawstring pants, except to bed
4. asymmetrical earrings

Imagine yourself in a Maoist Propaganda Poster.

Which brings me to a promised topic: Tom Frank's The Wrecking Crew. I will admit that I have not finished this book, but I have read enough to get the flavor. Its an incredibly well-researched book, and it well makes the case (to this already persuaded reader), that conservatives have set out to destroy government and line their pockets while doing it. Definitely worth a read if you have let your blood pressure settle to a healthy level and find that unacceptable.

Mr. Scobie and I had the pleasure of seeing Tom at a dinner hosted by a local bookstore, where he gave a great summary of the book. Once I started the book, I felt like I were listening to Tom, but without the levity of his personal charm. That makes the book slightly disappointing- not in its subject matter, but in the inherent charmlessness of the polemic form. Anyway, it was good to see Tom, and he in particular noted that he thought JFB was a great guy, and was happy to hear we still see him. At one point in the distant past, JFB declared, "Tom Frank wouldn't last a second in sixth century China. The Tang dynasty would kick his ass." Technically, the Sui dynasty ruled China in the sixth century, but JFB was drunk, and so Tommy has long since forgiven him. Tom probably would have been fine during the Sui dynasty, right?

UPDATE: Tom has a good column in the Wall Street Journal today.

Home Run

Michelle Obama knocks it out of the park:

Back From Vacation

And I have a lot to blog about. But a melange of not-quite-alcoholic-enough beverages leaves me verbose enough to blog but not enough to say anything. So I will do a 5-words-or-less summary of my major topics:

1. Vacation: Hella relaxing.
2. Joe Biden: Good choice, you'll see.
3. Denver convention: What's to protest?
4. Georgia: Cold War Deux, I'm psyched.
5. Weight Gain: Not cool.
6. Exercise: Also not cool.

Topics about which I will blog more this week:
1. Tom Frank and The Wrecking Crew
2. Obama and the drug war
3. My job
4. Books I have read
5. The conundrum of the "babe dad"

Summer's almost over, folks. I think it says in Ecclesiastes that there's a time to sow, a time to reap and a time for the fields to lay fallow. If its not in the Bible, it should be. Well, the fallow time is behind us, and its time to either reap or sow, depending on how you construe this metaphor, blog-wise. Readers, read. Bloggers, blog. That's the way nature intends it.

Celebrity Look-alike 1.5

"Anonymous", a neighbor of mine, reminded me, as he borrowed our weed whacker, that he has occasionally compared me to Tina Fey. I would slot her in between Rossellini and Evangelista, although she's probably the most accurate celebrity comparison. So accurate that I can't even think of anything funny to say about it.

Celebrity Look-alike 2.5

From Kate: "I just stopped by St Scobie's Outpost and I cannot believe that Ralph Macchio is not on that list. You were 12, you wore red & black exclusively, you had short hair, the movie was huge. I remember noticing this resemblance and soon after someone remarking about it to you, and you said, 'Cool'."

'Tis true, except my buffalo check days were around age 10. So, hovering around Albert on my celebrity likeness meter is Daniel-sen. That's totally me.

More Celebre-Me

I have a Kevin Bacon rating of 3. What's yours? Check with the Oracle of Bacon. You enter someone who you personally know that's even minimally famous, and it hooks you up. I did Ira Glass (former employer) and David Grohl (he was once in my kitchen at the Schloss*), and they are each only 2 degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon.

* The Schloss is actually called the Plutoschloss, and I had a very involved dream about it last night. For my non-Hyde Park readers, the Schloss was the house I lived in with the Rocker and the Day Trader, and from where my undies disappeared and re-appeared behind the toilet. Remember that story? Anyway. I can't really remember the dream well enough. Plus who really wants this to be a Dream Blog? Not me, for one.

While We Are On the Topic of Celebrities

I saw a picture today of a comedian I really used to like, and remembered that I was once likened to him. That got me thinking about other celebrities I have been compared to. From best to worst:

1. Isabella Rossellini: In the dark days of my pre-teen years, when I self-destructively wore a side-tail and many many grotty friendship bracelets, an old friend of my mother's told me that I looked like Rossellini. It was intended to make me feel better about myself at a time when that was impossible. It did help in the long run, I think. At the time, it didn't work to improve my self-esteem, but I think it shortened the time it took over all for me to eventually develop better self-esteem. If that makes any sense.

2. Linda Evangelista: A girl in my high school class kept pictures of models on her locker door, and one day, she yelled out to me, "Hey, you look like her. At least, your nose does." She was pointing at a picture of Evangelista. Having developed some self-esteem by that point, I decided to take this as a compliment, and not the wierd dig at my nose she probably intended.

3. Albert from Little House on the Prairie: Certain people who will recognize themselves without me having to describe them once told me that I looked like Albert from Little House. My healthy self-esteem has decided to say that this was solely because of the haircut Albert and I shared, and I would prefer that no one disabuse me of this notion.

4. Emo Phillips: There was another girl I went to high school with who was in a school play at our "brother school". When my boyfriend at the time told her that he and I were dating (or whatever), she said, "You mean the girl that looks like Emo Phillips?" The boyfriend, sort of to his credit, I guess, said, "I think Emo Phillips is hot." He also told me that he saw her changing in dress rehearsal and that her nipples were as big as pancakes. So now you have that image in your head too.

100 points to Paris

See you at the debate, bitches.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Gobama!

First there was will.i.am, then Ludicris, now Big Boi and Mary J:

The Reach of Nelson Marans

Blogging on my Q from the dentist office's waiting room a few weeks ago, People did a story on couples who have sex every day to improve their marriage. Our old pal Nelson weighs in: "When is there time for meaningful conversation and other requirements of a proper relationship?"
Oh, Nelson.
The couple responds: "It's not like we were locked in a bedroom 24 hours a day!"

Cousin News

I want you to know that my family members are not just famous for their art and dance, they are also entrepreneurs and politicians.

My cousin Malachy has started a T-shirt company. I will add a link when I can find it again.

My mom's cousin Tom is running for Lieutenant Governor of Vermont.

Robert Novak Admits He's a Tool.

Finally, Tool.

More Awesome Then Even The Obama Video

Woman runs sword into foot during Wiccan ritual.

Souuuuth Side!

Thanks to JZ for passing along the link to this video. Watch about a minute into this Obama video to here him represent!!

Totally totally awesome.