Scratching That Bed Race Itch

I know that ever since I posted about my Dad's Libertarian Bed Race Fiasco, you have been wondering: when is the next bed race? Can I enter? Can I win?! The answers are September 5, Yes, and Hells No! Here's why:

The race will begin at 9 a.m. with the team from Sergio's Restaurant returning to defend not only its 2004 title, but the best time ever posted by any team in the 30-plus year history of the bed race. The Sergio's Restaurant team won the title last year in a stunning burst of speed, sailing past all competitors, to post a record-breaking time of 1:43.16.

I highly doubt that you amateurs are going beat that. You could get noticed for your bed's decorations however. But probably not, since

In a new twist reminiscent of the bed races of the 1970s, LaserZone on Rte . 20 will not only enter a bed in the race, but will decorate one for the Lions Club's entry in the Labor Day parade.