Home Economics Post

If Home Ec was taught in my high school, I definitely gave it a pass. If I knew what retrograde meant, or even suspected, I surely would have used that word. And what would nuns have been able to teach about home economics? I can't answer that, but I do wish now I had learned a bit more of the womanly arts. So does everyone else, which is why, when I am finally free to quit my job, one of my many business ventures will be to open a Home Ec themed set of stores/learning centers. But I digress from what I really intended to post.

A friend, who occasionally reads this blog, has signed up for a sewing class. I share her utter terror at this experience and can't wait to live vicariously through her blog posts. Until she updates us, I thought I would share with all of you the basic instructions on how to make a skirt. I have not made this skirt but a friend has made several of them (since she lives in a country where they do not seem to sell women's clothing in a size 8) and I can tell you, they look great, especially for having been made by another home ec avoider.

Now on to our cooking project. This one is super-easy. It's the basic skirt of food, actually. Pasta with sausage. Mark Bittman recipe from basically every cookbook he's ever written. Boil water. Crumble 1/2 lb of italian sausage in a melted Tb of butter on med-high heat. Add 1/2 c. water to simmer. Cook pasta (like the whole box). Reserve 1/2 c of pasta water. Drain pasta. Mix sausage and pasta. Add water back in if you need to (you won't). Add 1/4 c of parmesan cheese. Also really good if you add broccolini but not completely necessary. Every non-vegetarian in the house will eat this, I promise.

Why am I telling you this? People (like, one person) is always asking me what I feed my kids, and that recipe there is on the menu probably twice a month. So now she knows.

This is all practice for my Home Ec empire.

Maxwell's Memories

News is out and all over my Facebook timeline that Maxwell's of Hoboken is closing. Maxwell's is a music club in Hoboken which had the most amazing shows, including all ages shows, that I've ever seen. Although I was too young for what some fans believe was its heyday (the mid-eighties), I went to literally dozens of shows throughout 1991-1996.

My first show: Love Battery. The lead singer from the Screaming Trees was there, flail-dancing around, but the show was not that full. I think it was a weeknight, Love Battery really wasn't well-known enough to headline, and the guy was huge and had plenty of room to move around. Ted Leo brought me and his younger brother Chris. Possibly, it's more accurate to say that Ted brought Chris and Chris brought me, but whatever. It was awesome. I didn't love Love Battery but I did love Maxwell's.

High point of junior year: We managed to score fIREHOSE tickets. Like 8 of them. It was me, Bridget, Jeanne, Chris, Danny, Dan Gomez, Gary and Maureen, I think. We took the train to Hoboken and then walked to the other end of the city (not actually very far) to Maxwell's. We were way too early for the show, and had no money to eat (at least the boys didn't), but we saw Thurston Moore eating inside at Maxwell's, and freaked the hell out. Then a guy (who I've actually recalled to be a "bum named Jackie") bought us a 6-pack of some lite beer, which we shared before the show. fIREHOSE was A-Fing-MAZING. My teeth still feel the bass.

I saw Shudder to Think there at least 3 times. I saw Tsunami there at least 3 times. I saw Fugazi there at least twice. Ted Leo has it exactly right describing the room during a Fugazi show. These are among the greatest memories I have of early adulthood. It helped that the club was in the shadow of the Maxwell House Coffee factory. The blast of coffee smell as you left the club at 2:00am was enough to drive home awake.

The last show I saw was Barbara Manning. I went with Dave McMahon. It was hella fun, but since I had relocated to Chicago I suspected I might not be back. There are efforts afoot to preserve Maxwell's but I think it would be weird for a punk club to be historically preserved. It's definitely a "you can't go home again" kind of thing.

Guest Blogger Dispatch 3: Totally Different and Unrelated Sharing

A friend shares this email from her child's preschool director:

Dear Families,

Our 11 year old son was saying things which seemed to me to have a generally negative turn to them. Jonah told us he had overheard us having a disagreement, and that's why he was now negative. I remembered reading in Raising Happiness that if children see you reconcile with your partner,that really helps mitigate any harm they experience.  I told my son that Tim and I had made up after our argument, and were fine now. He seemed to perk up. 

SEND FRUIT FOR OUR COMMUNAL FRUIT SALAD

On Thursday and Friday we will assemble a fruit salad with the kids using the fruit you send in.  Organic preferred!

THIS WEEK'S SNACK

A.M.: hummous, chips and carrots or celery (Mon-Wed). Snack on Thurs and Fri will be fruit salad

P.M.: dates

Okay, my friend shared this with me for the first part of the letter, which is just way too much information, and also veers very close to an admission of make-up sex without actually saying it. Or am I reading too much into it? Anyway, I continued with some other components of this newsletter because two OTHER things completely grossed me out besides the over-sharing: 

1) communal fruit salad prepared by preschoolers

   a) of course organic is preferred. Why did that need to be mentioned?

   b) Why isn't this just called germ salad or immune booster salad?

2) dates

   a) ewww

   b) no non-Hellenic (and I do mean from ancient Greece) toddler has ever like dates, because no one does, and also, aren't they a choking hazard? I guess its better than the toddler-prepared fruit salad they will be getting in the mornings

Thanks for oversharing, guest blogger!

Guest Blogger Dispatch 2: Read the Other One First

Mudcats Suffer Setback; Still in Playoff Hunt

June 2, 2013 (AP) – To invoke the motto of ABC’s Wide World of Sports, the Mudcats went from the “thrill of victory” to the “agony of defeat” in less than 24 hours.  One day after winning their opening round playoff game in walk-off fashion, on Sunday the Mudcats surrendered a three run lead to the Volcanoes in the top of the sixth inning and then gave up a whopping eleven runs in the top half of the extra frame to go down to defeat 16-7.  After scratching out a 5-2 lead against the Volcanoes ace pitcher Smiley – so nicknamed by the Vols coaches for his stoic demeanor – the Mudcats took the field in the top of the sixth needing just three outs to advance to the next round of the winners’ bracket to play the top-seeded Dragons.  Unfortunately for the ‘Cats, some untimely wild pitching allowed the Volcanoes to knot the score at 5.  The ‘Cats had a chance in the bottom of the sixth for back-to-back walk off wins, but William struck out on a check swing on a tough inside fastball, stranding a Catfish at third and sending the game to extra innings.  In the bonus round, the wheels came off the bus for the Mudcats, as none of a series of Mudcats’ pitchers could find the strike zone, allowing eleven runs to score on walks.  Down but not out, the Mudcats managed to put two runs on the board in the bottom half of the sixth, but could muster no more.  Liam Dooley, the hero of Saturday’s game, played a solid game in the field at first and behind the plate as catcher and went 2-4 at the plate, putting the bat on the ball each time he came up to hit.

The Mudcats next play the fifth-seeded Redwings in a win-or-go-home game on Tuesday afternoon.  With many of the Mudcats regular starting pitchers limited due to league pitch count rules, Liam is expected to see extended action on the bump for the ‘Cats.  First pitch is 5:00 PT. 

Dooley Dazzles; Turns Double Play

June 2, 2013 (AP) – In a late afternoon tilt, the Farm A Cardinals continued their solid play in the field and at the dish in a Farm A match up with the Mariners.  Although league rules do not allow for score to be kept in the Farm A division, unofficial reports had the Cardinals winning 17-12 in a four-inning slug-fest.  The game saw several smart plays in the field by Danish transplant Daniel Kvaerno, kindergarten call-up Xan, and surprise defensive whizz Diego (known more for his prodigious strength at the plate than his play in the field ), but none could match highlight reel catch of first baseman Quinn Dooley.  In the fourth inning, with runners on second and third, and nobody out, Quinn stabbed a sharply hit liner out of the air and deftly doubled off the Mariner on first who had taken off with the hit.  Reliving the play in his backyard the next day, Quinn reported that his play “was totally easy.”

The Cardinals return to the field Sunday, June 9, for their season finale.

Guest Blogger Dispatch: Mudcats Win; Dooley Awarded Game Ball

June 1, 2013 (AP) – The second-seeded Mudcats survived a scare from the seventh-seeded Grays in the first round of the NOLL Division AA playoffs, winning on a walk off, two-run single in the bottom of the sixth inning to cap a six run  come back.  Coach Chuck awarded the game ball to young Liam Dooley, whose stellar pitching performance in relief kept the Mudcats in the game.  In the top of the fifth inning, with his team already trailing 7-2, Liam was brought in to pitch with the bases loaded and nobody out.  In the bleakest of circumstances, Liam brought the Mudcats fans to their feet by shutting down the Grays, striking out two and deftly fielding a ground ball for a force out at home.  After the Mudcats put four runs on the board in the bottom of the fifth inning to narrow the deficit to 7-6, Liam again shut the Grays down in the top of the sixth.  Liam struck out the side, giving up only a harmless single, to set the stage for the Mudcats to complete their comeback.  Liam lead off the bottom of the sixth inning with an infield single and moved to second on a misplayed pop fly hit by Keeshan.  Then, after advancing on a wild pitch, Liam and Keeshan scored when Eli hit a single over the head of the center fielder to end the game in dramatic fashion.  Liam, who also played two solid innings at catcher, finished the game 2-3 at the plate with two runs scored.  The Mudcats advanced to play the Volcanoes at 11:00 a.m. PT today as the NOLL/SOLL Division AA double-elimination playoff tournament continues.

Leaving the House

Last night, I went to a show. The band was The XX, whom I had never heard of before and can't honestly say I would recognize again if I heard it today. They were described to me as minimalist, but I'm not sure why. They only had three members, and the "percussionist" played beats, I guess, but it didn't sound minimal at all, since it was loud as hell and had a huge light show and enough sonic layers to be described as complex.

But I digress. What was interesting to me about the show was the scene. It seems like music has finally arrived at a place where girls are more welcome, and so are gay kids, based on some of the smooching I saw. Given, this band was pretty twee, but I've seen aggro crap at twee shows, and that really wasn't in evidence. The crowd was diverse and well-behaved. The whole situation was almost unrecognizable to someone who started seeing live music 25 years ago. And the crowds had even settled down by then, compared to what it was like 10 years before that.

I'm just commenting on it because it surprised me.

Berkeley Never Fails

I stopped reading the Berkeley Parents Network newsletters when my kids started sleeping through the night. Thankfully, I have friends whose kids must not be sleep trained because sometimes I get juicy updates like these two.

 Mindful Housesitting (Berkeley)


-----------------------------------------------

Mindful Housesitting:
Offering Housesitting in a spirit of mindfulness and kindness.
Blessings for your plants, pets, mail, gardens, and home.
Good references and experience
Be at ease while you are away
Especially cat friendly
Mindful, caring, reliable, honest, clean, quiet, gentle, focused, drug/drama/alcohol free, and goodhearted female.
Please contact: mindfulhousesittingamyi@xxxx.com
Longer arrangements given priority, advance arrangements appreciated.
Barter/Trade-OK; donations always appreciated!
Thank you.
Contact: Amy email: amyibelieve@xxxxxxxx.com

Something makes me doubt the drama free part but the "especially cat friendly" part seems pretty believable. This next one makes me wonder if this gal here is actually just looking to move to the Bay Area, and has some other special skills to share.

Is there a market for a wet nurse in the bay?
-------------------------------------------

We are thinking about moving backl to the bay and I have been thinking about trying to pick up some work as a nanny (I homeschool my 2 and 5 year old aswell). I have been following quite a few posts on Breastfeeding support in different ways and it seems like wet nursing is making a come back at least a little. You think there would be any interest for this in the bay? I am very healthy and eat a very healthy diet specifically to give my daughter great milk. She would still be nursing but my supply has alwaysadjusted to meat their demand. I have always wanted to donate milk to help those that need it but just don't get anything if I pump (if I get a little it's only ever for  milk).

Would you have wanted your care tiverton step in in this way? Would it have seemed too weird to you? Wu,d your willing to pay extra? The money would come in handy as we dont yet know how we will be able to afford living in the bay again but I would also be very interested in doing it for someone who was really in need wether they could afford it or not. Happy to share this gift of nourishment


It's a huge relief that there are still wierd people out.

Who Else is Still Blogging?

I got to wondering, if Jenny is back on the blogging wagon, who else might still be out there, sharing their thoughts in a world where people increasingly read only tweets. I checked in on some other blogs I used to follow.

1. Arch Thinking. My sister has not blogged since January, and it was only to reveal that her budding art career. She's moved on to Etsy it seems.

2.  A Better Oakland is gone. At least the blog. Oakland itself has gotten better in some ways and worse in others. Probably worth its own blog post, really.

3. James Kennedy is still blogging. We had James over for dinner when he was in town for the 90 second Newbery Film Festival. Next year, we will make sure to get an East Bay viewing location. Meanwhile, you can still read his blog.

4. Speak You're Branes stopped blogging in Feb 2012. Although if you've never read it before, you don't really need it to be updated in order to find it funny.

5. Executive Orc House comes and goes at it pleases, and seems to be entirely written in a secret computer programmer language. There is a recent post, with Likes, but I have no idea what it means. Somewhere, a new Canadian is smirking.

6. Oakland Living has only sporadic posts.

Of the six that I checked, two have stopped, two are sporadic, one is cryptic and the last one is active. I am guessing this is reflective of the blog population as a whole. I will test my theory by looking at other blogs tonight. Research!

Blogs are Coming Back

Now that I am paying attention again, I want to share two new blogs that are must-follow. My old friend T&A is blogging again at My Other Blog is A Mommy Blog. Jenny is awesome; I think you'll love her as much as I do.

The other blog that I have obsessively checked like 14 times today (and today was actually way too insane to be reading blogs, involving as it did human excrement, copious amounts of bleach and a formaldehyde spill - not related incidents, by the way) is WHPK Record Library. A little back story. In college, I was a DJ and station manager at WHPK, my college radio station. The record library there was impressive. 8 foot shelves around the entire perimeter of a 12x12 foot room, with additional shelves in the middle, with every snobberific indie or punk band sandwiched into the room. Traditionally, the music director would slap a fat white sticker in the lower left corner of the record, date it and put a few comments to guide the DJ. Best cut, not-safe-for-daytime-play, etc. Other DJs could comment, and usually did. Stickers would be added, homophobic comments would be made.  The homophobic stuff is firmly not awesome, but I can attest that most, if not all, of those guys have repented their spiteful ways (externally) and some have even come out of the closet. This awesome site is posting one album per day. They could post a new album every day until the day I die and it still wouldn't touch the breadth of that record library's awesomeness.

Yes, I am nostalgic. But I also think the WHPK blog would benefit from an interactive component, like the New York Public Library Menu collection.  On this site, you can assist the NYPL decipher their enormous menu collection by transcribing the menus that have been scanned in. It's hella fun. I would totally spend hours transcribing the comments on record labels, by the way. It would be like meditation for me.

Weird s&*% doesn't just happen in Florida

A woman wrapped herself in bubble wrap to go kill her husband. What's up with that?

Into the Void

I wrote this post in March 2007. I cannot figure out why I didn't post it. The links don't work any more, but I will see if I can find out any more information and update you later. 

Sometimes I don't post about a story because it seems so freaking obvious. But the kerfuffle about Israel's ambassador to El Salvador has been remarkably quiet. Okay, so it hasn't been totally ignored - Wonkette covered it - but it happened two weeks ago and it's just now getting press. It's not every day you hear about someone being found on their lawn, dressed in bondage gear, covered in sex toys, drunk, much less one involving a diplomat. From Israel. To El Salvador. Talk about diplomatic relations I have never even considered. Anyway, I have a couple of theories about this event:

1. If Israel had wanted this kept quiet, it would have been kept quiet. It's not like Tsuriel Raphael would be bragging about this. Take the ball gag out of his mouth, give him a cup of coffee, ship him back to Tel Aviv and tell the world press he resigned to spend more time with his family. It wouldn't even be a burp on the AP's radar. But here we are, with Israel telling it all around. I thought diplomats were known for their discretion, but I guess that's why they're recruiting now, huh?

2. "It's not like Tsuriel Raphael would be bragging about this", or would he? If you are a masochist, isn't this the zenith of mortification? Very few facts could make this story more embarassing, and if that's your bag, well, you can now die happy.

3. Was this story actually ignored for two weeks because its hard to pitch it from any angle in the mainstream media? I don't think the New York Times has touched it with a ten foot whip yet. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the priggishness of mainstream media makes editors apoplectic over stories like this one. It's like the Weekly World News meets The World.

4. Did a joke already exist that starts: "An Israeli, a Salvadoran, and a masochist walk into a bar...." or will someone need to write that now?

That's all I've got.

Finally, only two more days to join St. Scobie's Mock Brackets. To my anonymous commenter, I cannot help you unless you identify yourself. And if you've picked Oral Roberts to win it, then maybe no one can help you.

Just a Post

I think all the time about blogging again, because I really loved it when I did it regularly. It never seems like the right time to start again because it feels like I should have a momentous reason for that first start-up post. Which will turn out to be a false start, of course. So just like when I first started blogging, I am going to not tell anyone, and see if anyone finds me here.

Why did I stop blogging? For several reasons. First, I had other avenues to share my thoughts. Facebook and Twitter are not going away, folks. They are way easier to maintain than a blog, and the gratification you get from your friends' responses is almost instant. The "long" form of the blog, though, allows more rambling, which I am prone to.

I also changed jobs. At my old job, it was expected that people would have strong political views and there was no problem if you shared them. I now work for a large company where people are expected to keep their personal views personal, and you are not supposed to even check your personal email at work, much less write blog posts. As you might imagine, I am not comfortable in this environment, but I pass really well. However,  I've learned that large companies maybe are not the best place for me, and while I figure out what's next, I no longer feel self-censoring. I have a lot of things I want to talk about.

Other reasons. I don't have a lot of time. Also, I find that my hands hurt a lot. I blame the iphone I am almost constantly on. Dealing with this falls into a bucket of self-work that I think about a lot, but haven't done anything about yet. This is a giant bucket, by the way. I having been thinking a lot about perfectability and how subjective perfect is. Like, I think I would be a better (or at least healthier) person if I eliminated half and half from my coffee, but believe that I would be miserable. But then I wonder, how do I know I will be miserable? I might be fine. I used to smoke, and think that my life would be empty without cigarettes, but now that I haven't smoked in 13 years, I don't miss them. Presumably, giving up half and half would be easier than that.

Let me see if I can get back to blogging.

Can't stay away

It's New Year's resolution time, which gives me that hanker to blog on my real blog. I've really missed it, too. Mainly because my two main readers refuse to join Facebook. So the mountain will come to Muhammed on this one, and I will make another go at St. Scobies. I've also resolved a six-month long access problem (forgotten password) by changing my password. Okay, I'm back, y'all.

With a lot to blog about, actually. But I will start with New Year's resolutions. First of all, let's review 2012:

1. Less TV for kids - this happened sporadically but was offset by my kids' growing awareness of the possibilities available to them via my iPad and (sigh) the kindles Santa got them from Christmas.
2. meatless Monday - while this did not happen specifically, we had almost totally eliminated red meat from our home menu, and did increase our seafood intake. So that's something.
3. running coach (?) - This didn't happen.
4. singing lessons - This did. I took one lesson, got the jist of what it would entail, and decided I am fine singing off-key. I also took swimming lessons, and feel much more confident swimming laps now.
5. write a song? Call it "Sans Netsuki"- What can I say? I am a frustrated songwriter. However, I did start writing a scifi novel. Started it is the operative phrase, but I am committed to finishing it this year.
6. New music? - Bought Big Boi's new album. Does that count? It is awesome.
7. Date night? - In the works.
8. Videogames only as reward - Depends on your definition of reward.
9. Chores for kids - This did happen. Kids got 5 chores and while they are wildly inconsistent on doing them, reminding them is effective, because they do seem aware that they are responsible for them. 
10. See Joan Rivers movie - Didn't happen.
11. Floss more - Data not available. 
12. Harry Nillson documentary - Didn't happen. I hate documentaries.
13. see Mitch Hedberg stand-up video (RIP)  - Did this. It was probably like watching a Hitchcock film now. It was like, "what is the big deal? This is sort of derivative." and then you realize everyone else is ripping him off. Pretty funny but not, like, mind-blowing. 
14. Thank Mario - Sorry, Mario.
15. Watch more stand-up - Does reading Jason Zinoman's column count?
16. Lose the baby fat - So did not happen.
17. Get that fuckin' Jeep out of here - Happened. I had nothing to do with it, I don't think.
18. Get linen panties -  Will work on it 2013.
19. Start a denim panties business - The market is still out there.
20. Learn bird calls - Do you realize how drunk I was?
21. Get more babysitters - this happened. We LOVE our babysitter.
22. Get a public access TV show - Definitely needs to happen. Possibly will launch as a podcast. In my mind.


I am giving myself credit for 8 of these, plus extra credit for the swimming lessons and the novel. But only one extra point. So I have a completion rate of 41%. I can live with that.

And now for 2013:
1. Obtain and maintain a sour dough starter: Already ordered it. Keeping it alive will be the real challenge.

2. Take a sewing class: Only weakly committed to this, I just want to figure out how to use my sewing maching.

3. Try Pilates 

4. Read one book per month: I finished two books last week but sadly it was prior to Jan 1. I am reading Game of Thrones now.

5. Buy at least 5 new albums: Recommendations welcome.

6. Camp at least once -big basin? - Wanna come?

7. See Big Sur

8. Finish my novel about Mars

9. Oh, and I will try blogging a bit more.

More to come, I am sure. Happy New Year.

Come Fly With Me

I've decided to have a go at tumblr which seems to be a more manageable blogging platform. I know you don't give a shit, but trust me on this one. elscob.tumblr.com

I might come back here, I might not.

By the way

I am also fully hating this new template, and it seems like all the Blogger templates are clunky and load slowly and generally don't let you choose a normal font or something. Any ideas?

April Fools Resolution

I know you've been dying to ask which of the New Year's resolutions I shared was April Fools fakery (poisson d'Avril! I shout). In truth, every single one of them was a resolution that I recorded on New Year's day, from Harry Nillson to Denim Panties, Inc. Recall too that I resolved to drink less in 2012, and you may understand why. After what amounted to an almost full day of drinking that ends with a resolution about denim panties made with a guy named Mario, you can understand why I might total my tee, so to speak.

As for April Fools, I did perpetuate one effective trick (poisson d'Avril!). I emailed B the following (Subject: Don't Get Mad):

So we went to the farmer's market this morning, and the Milo Foundation was there, and there were these super-cute cats, and the kids really wanted one, so we adopted a cat. I know you will be pissed but this is a super-cute cat. We are still discussing a names. Names proposed include Pat, Tory, Destu and Strug.

 Probably because he was at the tail end of a 48-hour bachelor party, he completely bought this. When he called to talk about it, I shouted, "Don't carry the cat around like that!" but I accidentally muted the phone with my jaw (a strangely common problem I have) and then lost steam on the joke. I don't think I've ever successfully tricked someone on April 1, and unless he's as sensorily-compromised next year, I doubt it will happen again. 

One of Those Days

Do you ever have one of those days where you are like Why do I suddenly have too much tupperware? And then you are like Why do I care? Why am calibrating par levels of tupperware? and then your solace from this soul-sucking line of inquiry is to mock a neighbor's email request for coupons to a local arts and crafts store?

I can tell that this day has the possibility of being a long one of those days, since it's only 8:35 am and there is an unholy storm raging outside.

2012 New Year's Resolutions Redux, aka The April Fools Edition

I finally worked up the nerve to look at my New Year's resolution list, made on New Years Day, in mid- February and I thought it was worth posting. See if you can spot the fake resolution.

1. Less TV for kids
2. meatless Monday
3. running coach (?)
4. singing lessons
5. write a song? Call it "Sans Netsuki"
6. New music?
7. Date night?
8. Videogames only as reward
9. Chores for kids
10. See Joan Rivers movie
11. Floss more
12. Harry Nillson documentary
13. see Mitch Hedberg stand-up video (RIP)
14. Thank Mario
15. Watch more stand-up
16. Lose the baby fat
17. Get that fuckin' Jeep out of here
18. Get linen panties
19. Start a denim panties business
20. Learn bird calls
21. Get more babysitters
22. Get a public access TV show

Fake resolution will be posted on April 1. Come back then!

Another awesome thing

To make it up to you for botching the stormtrooper picture in yesterday's post, I thought I would share this with you. It's a "diaper cake" that a pregnant colleague received as a baby gift. Those white things are newborn diapers rolled one by one. Isn't it awesome? 

A Grab Bag

I have an accumulation of stuff I want to share, so I guess that warrants a blog post.

Ahhhh, chuckley-chuckle.

And I love this, possibly more than the original:

Her Material Girl cover is pretty boss, too.

What else I got for you? Read this NY Times article One Schlep Forward. It resonated.