More of What You Want, Part II

If you feel the need to get really creeped out right now, watch just a few minutes of this video. Scary mime!! With Enya-like music! It's truly terrifying.

What else? This morning I overheard my 3-year old engaged in this brief dialogue with himself, while playing with his airplanes on the aircraft carrier Grandpa made for him.

Airplane 1: How was your mission?
Airplane 2: I will burp on you.
(Airplane 1 flies away and then back)
Airplane 1: That was a good mission.
Airplane 2: I fart on you.

Finally, good news for fans of The Wire (read the comments too) and Penthouse. Mmmm, good.

Just a Lot Going On

First of all, apologies for my failure to Live Blog (tm) the Oscars. There was just too much going on in our house. My mom's visiting, and she couldn't decide between the Versace and vintage Chanel. She can be really tetchy that way.

Just to get back on the BPN tip, here's one from the Advice Wanted:

Finding a santeria house-------Hi, this is for all the santeros/santeras out there. I know, it's kind of an odd posting, but I need help. I've been somewhat involved with the religion for a few years, and I feel that I REALLY need to move forward with the process, but how do I know who's and where's the right place for me? People just say, ''you'll know'', but I DON'T know. I'd like to connect with some people that went thru this process, and who'll be willing to talk to me and tell me what it was like for them. If any one out there has the time and is willing please send me an email. Thanks. Child of Obatala

And in a possibly related note, I heard a Taco Bell ad on the radio today that was so inexplicable, I cannot even piece together meaning. It involved a carne asada taquito arguing with a woman who was running a spelling bee about whether he could enter the spelling bee. WTF? Fred Kovey was off his rocker on that one, to be sure. I worried that possibly I had gotten accidentally high somehow before getting in the car.

The famous Kate Costello was so inspired by my last post that she created a sculpture of Angela Davis. Dig it.

Hmmm. Anything else? Not really. Send me cool things.

Quick Post

This is a quickie just to update you on a couple of things annoying me today, and one thing that is not annoying me.

First, I heard a woman from Emily's List on NPR say yesterday that they are all psyched because Hillary Clinton is the first woman running for president. This is gallingly untrue. Viva Pat Schroeder! She even ran after Emily's List was founded, so, in theory, they already should be over their first-female-candidate jones. That's so 19 years ago. Also, I am not a big third party type, but the Commies and the Greens and so forth have been fielding females for awhile. Angela Davis was the VP candidate on the Communist ticket twice. No love.

Sorry to be all third-wave feminist, unimpressed with Hillary's non-groundbreakingness. It's just too annoying.

More annoying, however, is the current "back to the land" discussion being waged at the Berkeley Parents Network Advice column. It's too wordy to share, but let me summarize. The initial poster wanted to know if she was crazy for wanting to go off the grid, in response to her fears of global warming. Instead of answering, "Yes," people gave her "on-the-one-hand, on-the-other" responses. But no one pointed out that 1 person, or a family of 4, living in the middle of nowhere, can make a bigger negative global impact than living in the city, where you can walk places. I read somewhere (and possibly I will try to find a link later) that Manhattanites leave the smallest "global/environmental footprint" of anyone in America, because they can walk everywhere, and energy costs are lower because everyone is functionally huddled together, sharing heat, etc. You get my point.

Not annoying: Get your war on is funny again today. The second two in particular.

Adding insult to injury

Pumping is embarassing and awful enough without being accosted by little old ladies that "the handicapped restroom isn't (bang bang bang) for make-up!" I now hate old ladies.

Jury Wardrobe Coordination is Justice Denied

I still haven't figured out if T&A Lady is serving on the Scooter Libby jury, but if she is, I hope that's her on the end, wearing black. Because it is SO corny for the rest of the jury to wear red on Valentine's Day, together and in solidarity for (what exactly?). T&A Lady, why did you hold out? The corniness? Or do you see a mistrial coming that you can't avert?

Question

Is T&A Lady on the Scooter Libby jury? If not, where has she been all month?

Good Night

This is the obligatory post-above-a-post-with-photos, quirk of Blogspot.

Some Random Thoughts

My three-year-old now walks around singing, "It's just like a mini-mall, it's just like a mini-mall." God knows what they make of that at school.

I found the mother lode of mascot costumes. Clearly it's Plushie Heaven. By the way, if you don't know what a Plushie is, don't google it. You will be sorry. Ask me directly and I will tell you. But you can probably deduce it by visiting here, (you pervert).

Fathers 4 and 5

This article is too good to pass by. Read the whole thing, as it raises the possibility that J. Howard Marshall II was the posthumous father of Danielyn. Or is it the Bahamanian Immigration Minister? Or is it Daniel, Anna Nicole's son? That last spector is too gross to count as an actual possibility, even though the insinuation is out there.

Thanks for Visiting

There's been a real uptick in earnestness among some of my readers that I wanted to bring to the attention of some of my other readers.

First there were two, two!, members of the Toledo Boosters Club or Junior Chamber of Commerce who weighed in to unnecessarily defend Toledo. I say unnecessarily because I wasn't actually offending Toledo. At least, I didn't think I was.

And then there is the Maria Callas fan who felt the need to reiterate what had been my essential point - that Mary J. Blige is not, despite the hyperbole of the Grammy writing staff, Maria Callas. "Sarah" of The Maria Callas Defense Fund has 21 of her own blogs, and none of them devoted to Maria Callas. Coincidence or oversight? You be the judge.

Is my writing style too subtle? And are there more people out there who troll for Toledo references in blogs so they can take a swig of Franzia and type a rousing defense of their adopted hometown? And by using the word Toledo four times in this post, do I invite their wrath?

10:04

I am burned out. There's too much awfulness. The baby is crying again. Is Imogen Heap related to Uriah Heap or just trying to make it seem that way? And what does that "say" about her? That's it for me. This was good practice for the Oscars, Feb 25, and for when I quit my job to blog full-time. Thanks and good night.

10:01

Imogene Heap is the rat's nest head. Go Fug Yourself is going to have a field day with her when they get back from fashion week.

By the way, the ugly rat's nest pictured is not even the one I am referring to at the Grammys. It's a different one. She's decided to substitute wacky millinery for actual talent, I presume.

9:57

This is hell on earth. It's that other Eagles' song. You know, "they had one thing in common..."

Life in the fast lane.

This blond chick is in her negligee. Who is this hideous guy she has to sing with?

Are the Eagles getting a lifetime achievement award too? Is this a catch-up year, so they can honor decent bands next year (Grammy's 50th Anniversary) and not have to answer why they aren't honoring the Dead or the Eagles?

9:52

ARGH. I was okay with the Bob Wills tribute, because, well, I like Bob Wills. But this crappola Hotel California. ugh. I prefer Tom and Scott's version. Tom was my boyfriend sophomore year of high school, and my birthday gift that year was a tape he and his best friend had recorded of themselves singing Hotel California, The Rose, Dust in the Wind and I can't remember the other song. Anyway, I am only now getting over my mordification from it. He gave it to me with a rose, and the letter accompanying it called me, "my darling". I think I need to go into therapy just recalling it.

double ugh. Desperado cover. The Eagles are, with hindsight, emerging as the crappiest band ever to have recorded an album.

While We Have A Break

I have to admit that I did something really dumb the other night. It's not what you think. Or anything like that.

Liam has been complaining about a ghost problem lately. I made the mistake of telling him that my breast pump is a ghost machine that sucks ghosts out of his room and holds them. It was a Ghostbusters-inspired moment but now I am going to have to bring the pump in there every night to detox the room, because the other options* don't work now.

* The other options are: (1) denying there are ghosts, (2) putting the ghosts in "time out", (3) teaching Liam that ghosts are afraid of a mean face and (4) kicking the ghosts out by holding them out over my foot and making a kicking motion towards the door.

9:41

Portia di Rossi looks great but Ellen DeGeneres has a wierd scarf on. Not a good look. Very aviator, and not in the good way that Cee-Lo pulled off earlier.

I could have forgiven the DixieChix if they had tipped their hat to Willie but that little "heh heh" remark just sucked. F*** you. The whole country hates the war in Iraq now. You do not have a monopoly on dissent and you aren't interesting or articulate. So now we all hate you, the red staters and the blue staters. Or at least, I do.

9:39

Mandy Moore looks like Xena. Leann Rimes' breasts have gone missing. Luke Wilson is just bummed that he couldn't find Kanye before he came on stage.

I hope Willie Nelson wins whatever category this is.

He didn't.

God I hate the Dixie Chix.

9:37

Okay, I concede, MJB has some pipes. Maybe not Maria Callas, but she's got the pipes.

9:34

It's a wee bit of an overreach, I think, to compare Mary J. Blige to Maria Callas. Sorry, Terrence Howard, I know you didn't write that line. But why didn't you point out that you have no connection this year to music, that Hustle & Flow was last year, and you have something new happening, so give that line to someone else. Like Common. Or Karl Lagerfeld.

9:24

Kanye smoked up. Just pot though, so don't worry mom-in-law.

Common's transformation into Isaac Hayes is complete.