Am I A Terrible Person?

There's an informal knitting group in our office. I generally ignore it; I never knit with them (I don't knit privately, either). But I noticed when an email circulated office-wide inviting people to participate in Afghans for Afghans.

Am I bad person because my first impulse was derision? Even before I knew that Vanna White ("avid crocheter and designer") was its celebrity sponsor?

Sorry

Once I got in the zone of blogging like every day, I had hoped to keep up the pace. But even I ain't that witty and original. Plus, we were away all weekend. Here are some highlights from my favorite topics:

The Wire: Stressing me out. Why does Omar need to come back if Butchie's dead? I've seen ep 4 so I don't want to write much more because I want to respect my one reader who gives a crap about this and not spoil it for him. Suffice to say, I am having a really hard time buying this season so far. And there's a good S2 cameo in Ep4. Okay, that's enough. No more.

The kids: Hilarious little people. They loved the snow so much in Tahoe that, driving home, Li broke down crying, "I don't want (sob sob) the snow to EVER melt!"

Barack Obama: All my Edwards peeps, please please please breathe deeply of the reality of this campaign and vote for my guy on Feb 5. I love Edwards, too. But he will not get the nomination, and probably won't be a "kingmaker" at the convention either. I was listening to Hillary on the radio today and all I could think of was Betty Loren-Maltese. And let's be frank. No one ever wants to think about BLM. Plus, can you imagine four, much less eight, years of Bill Clinton lounging on the couch of the Oval Office, eating Funions and proffering his opinion on every damn thing? I assume even Hillary would kick him out by March 3, 2009, but who knows? "Two for the price of one" means two equivocating triangulators* for the bloody 2008 election of one. SO, if you were already planning on not voting for Hillary, them I invite you, nay implore you, to not vote for Hillary by voting for Barack. Thank you.

* whatever that means.

Nelson Marans: Don't worry, he's had letters published recently in the Washington Post and The New York Times (and here), opining about such meaningless topics as Amtrak and Barbara Cook: Songbird.

I don't have much else on my mind. Take it easy.

Calls for Speculation

I got an email from another Wire fan who asks:

Could that Stephen Glass character really be making shit up? Its being telegraphed so ham-handedly that there's got to be a twist.

This would be Scott Templeton he is referring to. In the second episode, the Sun runs a bullshit/feel-good-by-feeling-bad article about a kid in a wheelchair (allegedly shot with a stray bullet) named EJ trying to bum a ticket to the game on Orioles opening day. Clark Johnson's character Gus Haynes (the sole reason I am getting into this season's expansion to the newsroom so far) cannot find any information to back up this EJ story but he gets overruled and the story gets run. I have no idea whether the story is a fake or not but my prediction is that the kid is not totally fake, but was himself lying to Templeton, if it ever comes up again.

And since everything in The Wire (except Rawls' homosexuality) comes up again, that's my prediction. Templeton will get even looser with the facts when he realizes that he has Whitting's ear.

Since we are on the topic of newspapers, even a fictionalized one, I want to put down my thoughts on something that I have been thinking about lately. Remarks by David Simon were the jumping-off point. Simon was criticizing the internet for diminishing the significance and viability of daily newspapers. It has been a conundrum for daily papers to figure out how to compete with the internet. Subscription sales have not worked and people are not excited to pay for content. TimesSelect bombed and now even the Wall Street Journal is online without a subscription. People will not buy what they think should be free. It irks the shit out of real journalists that people consider their work to be "free".

But that's a misperception by journalists. It isn't that readers think the information is free, it's that we think it's already been paid for. In my mind, all the advertisements I have to wade through pay for the content. The cost of my home subscription covers the cost of getting the paper to my door: the paper, the printing costs, the delivery. The Internet obviates the need for those costs: no paper, no printing, no delivery (except for the computer that I bought). Meanwhile the paper is still selling advertising on-line. In my mind, they can afford the content, and I don't need to pay for the ancillary production costs.

Another effect of the "democratization" of the web is that the readers can figure out for themselves how hard, or easy, producing content is. The mythical/libidinal newsroom suddenly doesn't seem so special. Plus papers can't even seem to be on top of the news anymore. Nor do they seem to want to be. I don't think papers have the desire to truly be all things to all people. The NYT might resent Daily Kos for its depth and breadth of political issues, but do they want be DK? I doubt it. They wouldn't make the ad revenue they make being the NYT.

Anyway, these are just some thoughts.

A Strange Story

Preoccupied, as I am, with certain legal wranglings in The South, but unable to obtain any new information this morning, I wandered over to the Montgomery Advertiser, and came across this story. Three white teenagers are being charged as juveniles (to the displeasure of the Sons of Confederate Veterans) in the vandalism of a statue commemorating . . . Confederate veterans. What struck me as strange was:

(1) the decision to charge them as juveniles. I wonder if black teens would have been given the same leniency.
(2) the fact that they painted the soldiers on the face with black paint
(3) the fact that they painted "NT 11 11 31", referring to Nat Turner and the date of his execution.

I won't go so far as to say that what they did was cool, but you've got to admit Alabama has come a long way when white teens are defacing Confederate statues in honor of Nat Turner.

UPDATE: Unless of course the kids were doing it to frame some blacks for the crime. Still the details seem a bit too sophisticated for that. Who knows.

Awesome

And I am not being facetious. I am genuinely pleased that the Machinists have endorsed Mike Huckabee in the Republican primary.

If you pay attention to this stuff, you may recall a feature article in the NYT magazine two years ago, juxtaposing Andy Stern (the "new boss") and Tom Buffenbarger (the "old boss"). However flattering the piece may have been to Andy, it sure wasn't flattering to Tom, portrayed, as he was, as flying around the country in a private jet while the machine shops of American were snuck down to Ciudad Juarez like the Baltimore Colts were whisked to Indianapolis, only every night.

Anyway, I wasn't left with a terribly warm impression of the man myself. BUT you have to credit him with exactly the kind of outside-the-box thinking that Stern has been advocating these past few years. Promising not to back Democrats qua Democrats, Stern has said that the labor movement should consider all candidates willing to work with Labor. Buffenbarger is the first one to actually go there. Touche.

The Things You Can Learn

Now that I have a second child who demands internet searching at the drop of a hat (but who can't say carcaradontaurus or F-4 Phantom yet), I have learned a lot of about "tucks", "buh-doh-dahs", "dump tucks" and "jij-uhs" (that last one is "diggers"). We came across this photo tonight, of a giant dump truck getting a tire change, and it really resonated with me. That dump truck is me.

I also learned about a product called Tractor Jackets. Who knew? It seems unnecessary, and yet, how would I know? It now reminds me of auto parts place near my grandparents, which, during my childhood, advertised "car bras". I was too embarassed to ask what it meant. Would that I had Google back then. Or a Google. Anyway, I was so disappointed when I found out what they were. But I also felt liberated to ask more questions that I didn't know the answer to.

Best Use of Office E-mail Award

As with most offices, we more than occasionally get office-wide emails that are annoying and pointless but which cause a lot of people to hit Reply All. I am disappointed that this one hasn't gotten a response yet:

Subject: BARITONE TROMBONE PLAYER?
I have placed a music book entitled "Cool Yule" in the kitchen on the *candy* table. It contains 14 Easy Christmas Solos for a Baritone Trombone player. A gift gone awry, my daughter plays piano not Trombone. Please feel free to take it home if you know someone who might put it to use.

Overactive Imagination

I saw the headline

Romney attacks McCain at Republican debate

and for two brief seconds, I thought, "Oh my God, Romney lost it. It's like that tiger mauling those kids on Christmas" and then I realized that the Reuters headline editor was just excited.

Oh, by the way, I've got a new candidate.

Wire Predictions

Another night shot. Oh well. Let's see if I can redeem it with some clairvoyant Wire predictions. I have watched four seasons plus 2 episodes of Season 5, but I will try not to be a spoiler on that Ep 52. (This is inspired, modestly, by the Freakonomics article on the NYT site today).

1. Michael will kill Omar. This is based on the fact that Omar saw Michael having a meeting with Marlo in that dingy courtyard last season. "Just a kid," he says. Incidentally, back in Season 1, when he and Brandon and that sick-up boy that gets killed (Joe?) are sitting on the brick steps, and a woman comes up and asks "Mr. Omar" for some dope to get her through til she gets her check, the actress is the same woman who play Michael's mom, and Omar signals to a boy, "Yo Mikey" to give her some dope. I think this is an accidental coincidence, and not "the wire", but you never know on this show.

2. Cheese may turn on Prop Joe (with a little help from Marlo). I think his little skulking bit at the co-op meeting means he thinks he should get his own property.

3. Daniels will get caught up in a police corruption scandal that impedes his rise to the top. Remember a few seasons ago when Burrell threatened him, and he expressed concern to his wife Marla, in the first season, that the old Western District ways might come back to haunt him. That will be sad.

4. The "Rawls is gay" storyline may not go anywhere. They only have 10 episodes this season, and I don't know how they are going to fit it all in. (rawls + omar? Omar would never stoop that low)

5. A cop will get killed, and it will probably be Walker, who will be lauded as a hero or some shit. That's only because they don't have Herc to put on a pedestal anymore.

6. Clay Davis will not avoid indictment but he will take down everyone he can with him (see #3 above, and possibly prove me wrong on #4). Or maybe he will cop to some little thing, and be out in 4 months to become the top-rated radio host in Baltimore, ala Ed Norris.

7. I think we are going to see Kima's old woman Cheryl back again (she's a TV journalist, remember?), which is unfortunate, because she's annoying.

More as the season develops.

Gentlemen, May I Join You?

Its out there. "Feminists" saying they have to stand by their woman when the shit is down. Here's an Obama supporter rallying to Hillary's defense at Salon. Let's just say, I am less than persuaded. And since I threatened to abandon my gender if women rallied to Hillary just because she's being picked on, I need to ask you guys: Is there room for me on that side of the gender gap? I know I am not a great candidate, having borne children and all (I promise not to do that again!), but I don't hear about any men whining that Chris Matthews is mean so that's why they voted for Clinton.

So.Annoyed.

By the way, Frances Kissling has this good riposte on why she still isn't supporting Hillary.

Although I have never felt like throwing my lot in with Hillary on account of all her "difficulties".

Off The Rails

The title of this post refers to this blog, not to the Obama campaign, which I will get to in a second. I started off the year fearing that I would hardly post at all (see, e.g., December 2007), and here I am blogging my butt off. Only not about my typical whimsical and lovely nonsense. I have been very centered on the Democratic primary campaign, and I have more to say. On one hand, I recognize that this may be boring-ish for some people, but (on the other) I think I know my readers, and you are as rabidly interested in this as I am, or else we wouldn't be such dear friends. So, back to New Hampshire.

First of all, this is hardly a loss for Obama. Less than a few weeks ago, he was down by double-digits, and instead he lost be 3 percentage points. Isn't that less than the typical margin of error in a statistical poll? Right on, Obama! And as I said before, I think that if Clinton is going to win this ultimately (although I hope she doesn't), she needs more of a trial than she was prepared for. I gotta say, I am SO annoyed by this idea that her little teeny fake nervous breakdown gave her a bump among the Women Exactly Like Her voting bloc. She can cry on command! What a skill for our President to have. You may recall, I am NOT down with the "Girlfriend in Chief" model of campaigning. Please don't tell me that "women" love this, or I may forsake my gender.

And as a tangential correllary*, this reminds me how much Baby Boomers annoy me. Don't ask me why I thought of this. Those of you who also hate Baby Boomers probably understand instinctively where I am going with this, and also can't quite articulate what the bridge is. Here's the bridge: Hillary. She's Woman. She's Boomer. The world is hers for the taking. She has so many "good opportunities" - she's just bursting to unload them on us. I am so tired of that generation (most of whom disavow the rest strongly) claiming they can fix things in this crazy mixed up world. No, you can't. Its messed up. Stop pretending you are a realist and then feeding us horseshit.

Okay, I have clearly lost my train of thought here. So back to an even more annoying obsession of mine: The Wire. Season 5 debuted this past Sunday, and I didn't even mention it because I figured, if you don't watch it yet, you probably aren't going to start now. And that's your damn loss. I will accept you back into my good graces if you watch just one other season of this show without me having to harangue you further. Then I will give you my generous and brilliant thoughts on this season 5. (Actually, I can't, because I watched an episode ahead, and I would feel bad if I accidentally spoiled it for you, so Mr. Scobie will just have to suffer my brilliance alone).

* Mathematicians: Can something be both a tangent and a correllary? Or are they the same thing?

I Am Not Alone

Thanks, KL, for your supportive comment. It's nice to know someone is reading. And since I know at least one reader ain't bored by this topic, here's a bit more. Members of the AFSCME Executive Board (7 of 33) have written an open letter to AFSCME President Gerald McEntee asking him to refrain from attacking Senator Obama and using union funds/staff to engage in public disparagement of the Senator. Noteworthy, to me, is the admission that AFSMCE endorsed Clinton primarily because they expected her to be the front runner, and wanted to back the right horse, so to speak.

This bolsters my view that Labor's beef with Obama is not that he's anti-union, but that he ain't getting bought by Labor. If we can get his support for free, then why are we begging him to take our money?

The flip side, i.e. Labor's argument, is that Obama is taking $2300 from every rich person he meets, but that teachers, firefighters, and home care workers don't have that kind of money. Unions can pool their members' money to support candidates that support issues for working people. It's an argument, but that's all it is. It isn't borne out by the practice. Politicians take money from unions, AND from rich people, and then do what they do. I think its worth trying a different way for once.

UPDATE: It looks like the members of Culinary workers local 226 agrees with me.

Everyone's a goddamn pundit

I had an irksome conversation with a law clerk in our office today where he expressed doubt that Obama even supports the Employee Free Choice Act (this legislation proposes to strengthen union organizing, and it’s a no-duh Vote Yes for Democrats). The law clerk has “inside knowledge” that Obama is not pro-union.

Obama does, in fact, support EFCA, and other pro-union, pro-working people solutions. At least, he says he does. And he did co-sponsor the damn bill in the Senate. So I did a tiny amount of research to figure out why Labor people think Obama is "the most conservative candidate on the Democratic side", at least on labor issues.

Most of the web/news coverage concerns Obama's almost-perfect record on labor issues or the fact that Obama has called out Clinton on NAFTA/CAFTA and Edwards on his refusal to condemn the right-to-work law in NC. Not exactly a right-wing smoking gun, if you ask me.

When I dug a little deeper, I found what may be the problem: Obama sent out a campaign letter where he seems to have called unions (and Emily's list) "special interests", and eschewed 527 organization's funds. DailyKos took issue (in a post that is reminiscent of the AFSCME video I posted back in March), as did Working Life and Politico.

Help me out here. How is being against "soft money funding" the exact same thing as being "anti-union"? And since when did buying politicians do shit for labor unions? Labor has been paying through the nose for years for the privilege of getting shafted over and over again. Millions of members' dues are chasing after politicians who have failed to strengthen labor laws, appoint pro-worker regulatory bodies, raise the minimum wage, stop jobs from moving overseas or borders or improve healthcare.

Labor thinks the candidates' interests are their interests. So fundraising is what Labor cares about, because that's what the candidate cares about. They lash out at another candidate who says, I want to end that kind of fundraising - as thought that were a labor issue. It's not a labor issue, it's a political issue. They hope the candidates they spend for will reciprocate, but there's no real historical basis for that hope.

Just as with the Labor's retrograde environmental views, Labor is on the wrong side on the issue of campaign finance reform. They think being able to throw their money around gets them somewhere in elections, but the reality is, they are always outspent, always outgunned, by employers and industry groups, who have more money and far less scruples about how widely they distribute it.

So I am not persuaded yet that Obama is anti-union or anti-worker. Of course, for professional reasons, I can't really share this post with anyone in my world who might be able to contradict me, but I am infuriated that "my people" are acting like mini-Joe Trippis instead of worker advocates. I think that there's a lot of sour grapes about lining up behind the wrong candidate too early, another common mistake Labor makes. Let me know if you know something different....

I Love This Sh*t

I love election days like its Christmas all over again. It's like a roller coaster where most of the day, its all ascendant. When you don't know who's winning, it's all up up up. And then usually there's the huge plunge that is so hard to take that it's nauseating. But then there's tonight, where the coaster has launched right off the rails, and the feeling in my stomach is all butterflies.

And this isn't just corny love of Obama. It's just so damn exciting that this Presidency is close to over, and there's a chance that there might be - not just relief from the awfulness - a corner could be turned.

I am excited for Obama, but I also think that even if Clinton comes out on top in the end, she will be a much stronger candidate for all of this. She has to fight for this, not just assume the throne. She has to earn this by doing something other than putting up with Bill's philandering for all those years.

And Huckabee is no shock to me at all. Timothy Egan in the NYT ("Two Buck Huck") has a good rap on how Huck got where he is. What he doesn't say is that this was implicitly predicted by Tom Frank in What's The Matter With Kansas? You had to wonder when the wingers would get sick of being chewed up and spit out. And while the Republicans are freaking out about Huckabee, denouncing him, the smart ones will get in there and just start buying up the store. Huck's gotta be buyable, right?

I didn't just write all that to show I am still a political cynic after all.

My thoughts on Edwards: I agree with his class critique, think he's a good guy, would be cool with him as a candidate. But I actually worry that his association with class issues and the labor movement prevents him from taking leadership on stuff that Labor hasn't dealt with/doesn't like. What am I talking about? Specifically, a lot of unions are at the back of the pack on environmental issues, because they see environmental regulations as anathema to job growth and bread-and-butter, rank-and-file American jobs. They want drilling in ANWAR, no fuel efficiency standards, etc. Not all of them, of course, but there just isn't a mainstream labor-environment platform out there that I hear from Edwards. And just as I am tired of 7 years of anti-worker bullshit from Bush, I am also tired from 7 years of sharp-edged, soft-minded, cannibalistic class rhetoric.

Maybe I just need a sabbatical.

Just Wrong

I just saw a license plate that said JRNYR(heart)X (Journey Rocks), and the plate holder said "I Would Rather Be At A Journey Concert".

Not acceptable.

How Did I Do?

Last night's blog post got me wondering, how did I do on last year's resolutions? From last year:

4. New Year's Resolutions. Did you make any? I almost never do. I consider it as sign of my own honesty to myself. I am probably not going to change very much, and certainly not in a substantial enough way to satisfy something as specific as a New Year's resolution. I have some New Year's aspirations though. I would like to blog more. Here's a reach: I would like to join the Y, or at a minimum, start doing some crunches so that my baby belly bag starts to go away. I would like Quinn to start sleeping through the night. I would like Liam to stay in his own bed, quietly all night. In other words, I am going to make New Year's resolutions for other people, whom I am legally permitted to make resolutions for.

Actually, I didn't do too badly. I joined the Y and was pretty good about going for more than 6 of the 12 months. I have dropped off this past 2 months but it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be, so I may try it again this year. Quinn sleeps from 7:30pm until 6:00am (with a margin of 30 minutes on either side). Liam sleeps all night on the couch, which isn't ideal, but at least it's not our bed. And I did blog more. In 2007, I wrote 214 posts, whereas 2006 only saw 117 posts. Given the poor showing in December, I don't know if I will be able to keep up that pace in '08. I will see what I can do.

Innovations in Dental Hygiene

In keeping with the spirit of the day, herewith my new year's resolutions:

1. Floss more*
2. Figure out what it means to add more fiber to one's diet, without actually eating Uncle Sam cereal
3. "Develop an interest" (This means "hobby", not "lover")
4. Stay politically idealistic in this election cycle until at least South Carolina, possibly all the way until February 6
5. Devise a system for organizing all the crap on my desk at home
6. Get other adult members of my household to join me in more assiduously disposing of compostables in a receptacle from whence, or within which, composting can occur**

That's about all I can think of.


*Me hubby and I are often (at least after either of us has a dentist's appointment)musing how much dental priorities have changes since even just our young adulthood. Flossing and "deep cleaning" are the rage now. Do you ever remember them doing that 3-4-3, 4-5-6 measuring five years ago? It suggests that Dental Medicine is more art than science, or is at least 50% alchemy and 20% guesswork. My certainty about this were heightened when my new dentist offered me a glass of wine to ease the anxiety of getting a filling recently (sub-footnote: I really like my new dentist).

** This gives me an idea: Mr. Scobie, I will abide by any system of organization you impose on me, for BOTH my desk and my dresser, if you agree to put all food waste in the green bin. Think about it. You have until January 6 (The Twelfth Day of Christmas) to accept or, less likely, reject my offer. (sub-footnote: I know you are wondering why I don't just wander around the manor property to find Mr. S and ask him myself. It's a good question, but mainly it's because it isn't worth the 20 steps that it entails, and I won't remember to ask him when I am done typing this.)

What Have I Been Doing?

It's not like y'all have been clamoring for me, but a neighbor did say the other day, "Hey, you remind me of a blogger I used to read," so I thought I would try to get back on the horse. Things have been very very very busy. How, exactly? Not sure. Here's an incomplete list of the things I have been doing for the past few weeks:

1. Working

2. Throwing up (no, I am not pregnant. We all had the stomach flu last weekend)

3. Avidly following the "Mess in Mississippi". Basically the WSJ Law Blog and several other blogs know when Mr. Scobie is traveling to the Deep South before I do. I am not linking to them because I don't want any of them finding their way back to me. I won't be commenting on it, and if Mr. S objects to this paragraph, I will take it down.

4. Following the Writers' Strike:



5. Following the upcoming caucus with growing glee.

6. Preparing for Christmas.

7. Researching soup recipes.

That's about it. If I ever have anything interesting to say again, I will let you know.

Cracking Myself Up

Enjoy the family Christmas greetings by clicking HERE.

For the Unenlightened

Non-University of Chicago graduates are probably scratching their heads slightly at the comment by Steve after the post below. What is it with these Chicago people? So proud of their nerdiness. Geesh, I was a nerd in college too. (Thought balloon does not count if you were not a nerd. But since I don't know any non-nerds, I am not sure what you people think when you read Steve's comment). Let me give you a little taste of the ambrosia that draws the nerds in. Here's an admissions essay for the U of C:

Modern improvisational comedy had its start with the Compass Players, a group of University of Chicago students, who later formed the Second City comedy troupe. Here is a chance to play along. Improvise a story, essay, or script that meets all of the following requirements: It must include the line “And yes I said yes I will Yes” (Ulysses, by James Joyce).

• Its characters may not have superpowers.
• Your work has to mention the University of Chicago, but please, no accounts of a high- school student applying to the University—this is fiction, not autobiography.
• Your work must include at least four of the following elements:
• a paper airplane
• a transformation
• a shoe
• the invisible hand
• two doors
• pointillism
• a fanciful explanation of the Pythagorean Theorem
• a ventriloquist or ventriloquis
• the Periodic Table of Elements
• the concept of Jeong
• number two pencils

I went there and I am not even sure what all those things are (but ventriloquis is not a word). However, I feel reassured that I can stop grousing that Chicago has gotten easier to get in to.

The Nerdling

I really thought my first kid would be the nerdy (nerdier?) one. With his encyclopedic knowledge of military aircraft and paleo-historical creatures, his better-than-strong vocabulary has fully bloomed. But Thing 2 is sure giving Thing 1 a run for his money in the nerd department. At 16 months, the Q-ball is a complete bookworm. This is a common site (sorry about the photo quality - he's hard to sneak up on):


In case you are wondering what's going on in this picture, Q is "reading" a book on the couch. Every day, one by one, he pulls all the books off the shelf and leafs through them, sometimes humming or "talking" to himself. He chases us around the house, thrusting books at us, saying "mmm....mmm....mmmm....mmmm" until we finally stoop to read him something. Here's a better picture:
Dig the sweater vest?

Barely Holding It Together

That title of this post could refer to a number of things, including my weekend. I won't dwell on my weaknesses as a parent (holding it together until I dropped a full mango lasse on my foot and then almost crying like a baby), but rather discuss The One Show To Rule Them All. Yeah, The Wire.

Today, Season 4 was released on DVD. I pre-ordered it, so y'all will have to buy me something different for Christmas. I thought I could let it pass without mentioning, but UBM pointed out that there's at least one Wire "prequel" on Amazon. Pretty inside joke, probably improvised. There are two others you can get from the Season 4 DVD page.

Season 5 comes out January 6. You haven't heard the last of this. Please just watch it. Sheesh.

UPDATE: Okay, so I watched all three of them. They are like little love letters to Wire fans. Pure insider stuff, just meant to give us more about our favorite characters.

So This Is What's Come To

NBC will be debuting a show called Clash of the Choirs, in lieu of new shows written by actual writers.

You can't tell me that strike ain't working.

Oh.My.God

Barack Obama is a fan of The Wire. (swoon)

Oh, and my cuz has seen Andre Royo twice recently, just motoring around LA. I am wicked jealous.

Pretty Funny

Thanksgiving menu

“What?! Are you kidding? Can we roast a chicken? No, we can’t roast a chicken! How about fajitas? Or a chili bowl from Wendy’s? We’ll gather ‘round the Thanksgiving chili bowl from Wendy’s. Don’t talk on the phone with me while you’re typing. Talk to you later.”

 

- Mr. Scobie’s answer to a question I asked about the Thanksgiving menu

 

Even More Irritating!

As I mentioned a few days ago, I don't keep up much on the BPN Newsletters these days. But today, something caught my eye. A poster complained that her local precious market uses a marker to mark their organic produce. She is outraged by the ignorance and toxicity of this method of identifying produce. My first thought was, get over it. But of the seven responders, only one said, "Frankly, I think you're going way out on a limb on this one."

The other six people chimed in with various suggestions for community action, "vote with your dollar" nonsense. Seriously, has anyone in the entire world traced an illness, or even a bad taste in their mouth, to a dot of marker on the outside of their melon?

This one's even better:

The other thing is that at Monterey Fish market they use a very strong smelling, seemingly toxic magic marker to mark the outside of the fish package. I'd like to just pop the wrapped package into the freezer but always feel compelled to ditch the paper as soon as possible. I don't even like it being there during the trip home. This has always bugged me. I would be all for instigating a change if there was a community friendly way to do it.

So Irritating

Despite what amounts to cautionary advice from my buddy Seamus, I went ahead and took a candidate matching poll. My love matches are, inexplicably, Mike Gravel, John McCain and Dennis Kucinich. Hunh?

Okay, I admit there was a time in my young democratic socialist days when I defended the boy genius of Wherever, Ohio. But who is Mike Gravel? Why can't I be matched to someone cute, like Edwards or Obama? Or at least Richardson? He's not really my type, but he has his Bill-Clinton-swaggering-excesses way about him. I'd have a beer, act a little goofy. John McCain? I once admitted to a friend of my mom's, a veteran of the Korean War, that my boyfriend had made me a quilt for Christmas, and I got 45-minutes of gay-bashing, Army recruitment love advice. I sort of imagine that sort of conversation with McCain, even though I admire his fake evenkeeledness. So much what you think Kurtz might be if he came out of the jungle.

Fortunately, I was able to get what I wanted over at Select Smart (yeah, I don't know what it is either). Phew. My top three are DK, Barack and someone named Alan Auguston, whose campaign has already been suspended. That sounds about right for my success rate, candidate-wise.

Bigs Up to The JC

And by that, I mean Jed Caesar. My cousin-in-law is one of the artists in the Whitney Biennial 2008 (page 4). Boo yah. And Kate has not one but two shows next year, in LA and NYC. Their shows overlap in New York in May. See you there!!

Escalating Stupidity

I was thinking the other day that I hadn't posted about inanities of Berkeley lately. I don't have to go there very often now that L doesn't go to Broccoli Montessori. I can't even bear to read the Berkeley Parents Network Advice newsletters because they are all so long and redundant (does every new mother need to despair that her 3 week old nurses too much/little, poops too much/little, sleeps too much/little? and can't every new mother just read the voluminous back issues for their answer?).

That leaves only the mainstream local press as a source of Berkeley news, and I don't see much of that. Oh, except for the tree sitters. Here's the latest. Several folks were arrested yesterday. According to a man named "Ayr" (it took me a sec to get that too):

"We went to deliver sage and tobacco and water to the tree-sitters, because we had heard earlier that (police) were denying them food and water and threatening people helping them with arrest," Ayr said. "We got the stuff up to them and we were doing some chants and songs when one of the tree-sitters came down and started cutting the fence."

Ayr said the group included Native Americans who believe that the grove was a burial ground for Ohlone Indians. UC anthropologists have said there is no evidence that is true.

I don't think we need an anthropologist to tell us how the grove grows, if I can paraphrase. Remember:

All but a few of the trees were planted by the university after the stadium was built in 1923.

This is all such a tremendous waste of trust fund dollars. These tree sitters could be planning their next Burning Man project if they weren't busy spilling buckets of urine and feces all other eachother. Or (*snap*) maybe that's IT! This will be great at Burning Man! I mean it's no suicide, but it could really work! (whisper whisper) They've already spilled buckets of urine and feces on eachother at Burning Man? Hmmm. Okay, back to Ye Olde Oak Grove. . .

Chasing My Own Tail

Today I googled “Problem Focusing On Work” and “Procrastination” while at work, trying to avoid starting something. Not anything specific. I just have a really hard time starting whatever pile of crap is next on my desk to be dealt with. Now that I have avoided work by googling these terms, and then blogging about it, what do I do next? Are there any experts out there who can recommend what I should next do to avoid work?

Missed Opportunities

One thing about me that has annoyed Mr. Scobie since we first met is my willingness to form an opinion about something before I have ever read or seen it. I made it through college by learning about many books in the following fashion:

1. Develop a theory about a book based on its cover, back cover, first chapter or overheard conversation in the "C" Shop.

Note: I also read whole books, but since the UofC is a Great Books school, many of those books were totally opaque and impossible (for me) to comprehend. Thus my opinion of the book or author is still based on this applied technique.

2. Confidently extol this theory to Mr. Scob (after the first week of college he was the only one who had the patience to endure my "theories").

3. Have "theory" eviscerated by listener, who cites the actual content of said book or movie as "evidence" that I am mistaken.

4. Revise "theory" based on new "evidence" and test on new listener.

5. Repeat 3 - 5.

By the time an exam rolled around, I'd have a firm grasp of the subject matter. The downside, of course, is that while I may now remark that something is "Aristotelean" or "Kantian" or "straight out of Kierkegaard", I'm in the right universe but I can't get more specific than that.

This tendency of mine is a time saver, money saver, and a shield to struggling with anything that might be intellectually or emotionally challenging. For example, in 1996, a bunch of kids wanted to see Crash, the creepy Cronenberg movie, which was basically a snuff movie. I refused to go see it on the basis that the movie would be sensational, violent and upsetting to me. B confronted me with the fact that I knew nothing more than what had been written in the NY Times about it. I said, "I don't need to see a movie to have an opinion about it." I have, to the annoyance of many, stood by that proposition (and likely will forever).

B saw the movie, hated it and has declined to confront me so directly about my cultural . . . prejudices? foresight? since that time.

Why am I going on about this? Because it turns out that instead of seeing this an annoying quirk of my personality, he should have recognized it as a money making opportunity! There is a new book out called How To Talk About Books You Haven't Read, which I DID NOT WRITE, to my consternation. (Here's a review)

Worse, I don't even have an opinion of this book yet.

My Heart Swells

I gotta get my brag on.

This morning at breakfast, Li told us this: "There are some kids at my school who used to live in England. There was a mean king who would not let them hold meetings, so they moved to Holland. Then they came here on The Mayflower. They are called Pilgrims." (My son did not verbally link to Wikipedia. I added that so that you can check the fuzzy details of your memory against what is ostensibly the history of the Pilgrims).

*sigh* He is so cute.

Other Things from Montgomery That I Miss

Whew! Our long national nightmare is over. T&A Lady is back in the saddle, tackling offensive Halloween costumes and offensive social movements, all in a day's work. Check it out!

I also remembered some other excellent things about Ms. Kirkpatrick last night. She wore a seersucker suit almost every day, even though she was in a wheelchair, and she and her husband were accomplished recorder players. Yeah, recorders, the plastic wind instrument you briefly learned in fourth grade. Only hers weren't plastic.

Goodbye, Ms. Kirkpatrick

For no discernible reason, I wandered over to the Montgomery Advertiser just now, and it made my wonder about an old friend. Literally, an old friend and probably Liam's oldest. By sad coincidence, it turns out that Margaret Blake Kirkpatrick died on October 22. She was 94 years old. Ms. Kirkpatrick, or Mahh-gret, as I thought of her, was our neighbor in Montgomery. She was one of the best people I ever met. She was crazy about Li, and would always say, "Ewwwww, let me squeeze that beautiful little baby boy. I do love little boys, you know. I had two of my own. I always wished I'd had a little girl, too." She was funny, smart, talkative, an active reader, an integrationist, anti-homophobic ("I joined the Episcopalian Church for their toleration. Why would we exclude homasexuals?") and very supportive. "You still nursin' that little baby? Good for you!"

Once, she was taking a class at ASU, an all-black college, and some Klan members who had learned she was there, pulled the fire alarm and then ambushed her and a black student. Photos of her running out of the school were published in the newspaper, along with the "news" of her "race mixing", in an effort to embarrass her. It didn't work. When a racist neighbor of hers learned that she was helping a young black woman to get a teaching degree, he and some other men from some White "Christian" group sprayed water from high powered hoses into her windows while the young woman was visiting. Her home was vandalized repeatedly. Margaret's response to all this was, and this is just how they treat the white people. She knew that her views exposed her to very little danger compared to the dangers faced by Blacks who were fighting to end segregation and racism in Alabama.

We were crazy about her. It's silly that her passing made me cry, because she had lived such a full life. We last saw her in October 2005, when we went down to Montgomery for something else. She had moved into a nursing home, and missed being able to email (her computer had been stolen by someone else's guest) but was reading voraciously. She gave L an American flag she had, because, she said, she wasn't feeling particularly like she wanted it, what with things being the way they were. I have missed her since we moved, and will miss her more knowing that she's gone.

Here's her obituary:

Margaret Blake Kirkpatrick Departed this life October 22nd in Montgomery, Alabama. She loved friends and family, lifelong learning, educating the young, playing music and enjoying humor. She adored a good joke -even a clean one if it was smart. Born June 15, 1913 in Randolph County, Alabama, the youngest of three daughters, to Judge Stell Blake and Exa Sticklen Blake. At a young age, her parents fell on hard times, forcing Margaret and her mother to live with her sister Martha and brother-in-law Charles ''Doc'' Thigpen in Tuscumbia, Alabama. Margaret made many friends in North Alabama, becoming especially close to her niece Martha Thigpen McLemore and cousin (Senator) Howell Heflin. She received her Teacher's Certificate from Florence State Teachers College in 1933 and took her first job in Jones, Alabama. Married to Robert F Kirkpatrick in 1934, she and Kirk lived thereafter in Montgomery, and raised two sons, Robert F. Kirkpatrick, Jr. and John B. Kirkpatrick. Back to school in 1952, she earned her Bachelor's with a double major in English and Education in 1955 from Huntingdon College, followed by her Masters in Education from Auburn University in 1958. She taught fourth and fifth grade at Bear School, retiring in 1976. Never one to give up learning, she studied Jungian analysis in Switzerland, became Mentor for the Education for Ministry program at Church of the Ascension, and began the adult education program at Huntingdon College. For the latter she was awarded an Honorary Doctorate by Huntingdon in 2001.

Oh, And

I managed to write something over at The Union Lawyer today, in case you are catatonically bored and in need of some digression.

Catholic humor

I guess it shouldn't come as any surprise that it exists. What else is Benny Hill if not Catholic humor? Or at least little c catholic. Anyway, enjoy:



Thanks to the good deacon of Our Lady of Guadalupe for this.

A couple of observations

There is a 1:1 ratio between people who forward urban legend emails and people who do not know how to delete headers. Or the sender realizes that they are being suckers for a dumb story and want to share the blame.

Novelty t-shirts do not, standing alone, constitute Halloween costumes. Sorry, chubby dude in the Vote For Pedro t.

Umm, What?

I am not, by nature, an apocalyptic soul. That lil' tremble we just had? Ain't no thang. I am okay with it. How about that suicide on the BART tracks that delayed Mr. Scobie from making it home from dinner? Well, tragic, but not the end times. But Naomi Campbell pilgrimaging to Hugo Chavez? If that isn't the end of the world, well then, Chavez needs better celebrity friends. If Naomi Campbell and Kevin Spacey visited me, I would assume that I had been Left Behind, and that my only chance for redemption was to battle it out with those demon spawn.

Sheesh. What a day.

L's reaction to the earthquake: "I need to KILL the tectonic plates." His proposed solution involves some kind of Lego drill that launches the tectonic plates into space. It's better than my solution, which was to get under the dining room table and ask B to go look at Q, as if looking at him were a sufficient prophylactic to The Big One.

A Man of Action

Q is quite thrilled with his Halloween costume.

This picture hurts my eyes, with all the bursts of color in that room. Doesn't he look exactly like the little football player behind him?

Ya Got No Creep To Ya

- Kima Greggs, episode 2, season 1.

Yeah, that's right. The Wire is back, On Demand. It does not matter that we have it on DVD. I watched two episodes tonight making Liam's Halloween costume. Which costume does NOT include the following:

Heh heh.

And then finally, have you wondered what you might hate more than Blackwater USA, the mercenary contractor responsible for untold numbers of Iraqi civilians deaths and Godknowshowmany propped-up dictatorships? And how about those irritating sound effects in NPR stories? You know, the laughing children on the playground, the birds chirping, and then you have to change the station before you lose your mind? Do you hate that more, or less, than military contractors in Iraq? Well, I briefly got an answer to that question the other day when I heard a story about protests at Blackwater's training center outside of San Diego. The owner of Blackwater came out to address the protesters, but was quickly shouted down. He got back into his vehicle, and the tape catches a protester angrily yelling, "Oh, you drive a HUMMER?? What about the environment? You gas guzzler!!"

Like the owner of Blackwater gives a shit. Like he should be driving a Prius.

And for a brief moment, I felt . . . I don't know what. Sorry for how lame the protesters are. Sorry that I have to listen to NPR's pitiful filler-in-lieu-of-news every day. Sorry that the best argument that can be summoned to yell at the owner of Blackwater, just hours after 17 Iraqi citizens were killed, is that he's a gas guzzler.

Down with the Baby Boomers

I got an email from the Social Security Administration today. It was a press release trumpeting the fact that the "first baby boomer", Kathy Casey-Kirschling, applied for her Social Security benefits "online".

"Filing for Social Security benefits online is easy and convenient," said Kathy Casey-Kirschling, who turns 62 on January 1, 2008. "I urge my fellow Baby Boomers to give Social Security's online services a try. Save a trip and do business with Social Security from the comfort of your home or office."

I did not realize that Baby Boomers had been given free access to the SSA email database to communicate with one another, and frankly, I don't think its a good use of our tax dollars. I also think that KCK should hold off on applying for benefits for a few more years. Hasn't she heard that the whole system is going down the toilet?!? No matter WHAT Paul Krugman says?? And that you can get a lot more money if you wait until you are actually old to apply? I am not going to school her.

A different topic: Yesterday and today I watched The Revolution Will Not Be Televised (video here), about the coup attempted against Hugo Chavez. It's edge-of-the-seat good: two Irish filmmakers happened to be present (literally in the Presidential Palace) during the April 2002 coup attempt. They were there when the coup happened and they were there when it fell. It's really compelling to watch, and raises a few interesting issues. The private media in Venezuela were complicit in the coup, refusing to broadcast honest information about Chavez's whereabouts, and the massive demonstrations against the coup, among other things. They explicitly participated in the coup planning, which they explained in a celebratory post-coup news interview. By reference to contemporaneous U.S. news reports, you realize that the American media buys the Bush administration view of Chavez uncritically, and that its "neo-liberal" perspective is almost as bad as the private media in Venezuela.

The problem that detracts from this well-done expose is the filmmakers' assertion that the CIA and the Bush administration are behind the coup. While I don't doubt it - the U.S. can't not meddle in South and Central American politics - the filmmakers have no evidence at all that this happened. Here's the information they allege supports this conclusion: Pedro Carmona and Carlos Ortega, leaders of the opposition to Chavez, may have gone to the White House the year before; an airplane with U.S. registration may have been sent to take Chavez out of Venezuela when his government was restored. And I say "may" because Chavez didn't report that happening. The viewer learns it from some random person in the movie relating it as a rumor. So the movie is great, unfiltered news, it isn't hard journalism.

Another interesting problem the movie raises: Chavez was clearly thoughtful, passionate, articulate about both socialism and democracy in 2002, scaring the shit out of the upper class. He's done a lot of good things, and much of the things he is blamed for doing in the American media are not entirely true. For example, there is supposedly a constitutional basis for him refusing to renew the license of the TV station that participated in the coup against him, and they kept broadcasting on cable. Not exactly grossly offensive censorship, particularly since the FCC here is giving the green light to complete media monopolies. But I got into an argument with a guy I work with who is very pro-Chavez on the question about Chavez extending his term limits for 14 more years. (Supposedly he's just extending them until 2021, not indefinitely). He said that this extension was the will of the people. My view was, there is no exception to the rule that power corrupts, and that if Chavez does not have underlings (Vice President, cabinet members) capable of sustaining the programs he has created, then they don't have a democracy. And while I am ranting, I think socialism without democracy is, at best, paternalism, and at worst, dictatorship. I won't say fascism because I think JFB and I once may have argued about THAT word (or was it totalitarianism?).

The final analysis is: I wish I knew more about Hugo Chavez, and about nearly everything else in the world. When I learn new things - like about this coup - it makes me feel so dumb and naive. I feel like I know almost nothing when I learn anything at all.

Day Waster

It's only 10 a.m. and I can already tell that the day is shot. Concerned as I am about TK's musical dry spell, I followed one of his commenter's recommendations over to Pandora. And like that, the day is gone. Over. Nothing will get done today, while I surf through and rate new music. Proceed at your own risk.

Other things I like: Mr. Scobie and I got the hell out of Dodge this weekend and languished in Bodega Bay, reading, eating and watching Red Sox games. I read Cannery Row. Great. After this, and my little Jane Austen binge a few months back, I realize that what we were supposed to be reading in high school really is the best stuff ever written. What should I read next?

On Language

If you think SCOTUS sounds dirty, how about POTUS and FLOTUS? Don't they sound like caricatures of twin Southern buffoons? I guess in a sense they are.

And since I've been on the topic of words, M just put me on to Websters on-line dictionary. It's pretty amazing. It goes way beyond a typical dictionary. For example, transmutation (M accedes to using it for the meaning "change one substance into another): This on-line dictionary includes a multilingual translation and includes alternative orthographies, including how the word is spelled in semaphore, dancing man, Braille, American Sign Language, British Sign Language, HTML and Hexadecimal. Whatever that is.

You will notice the fatal flaw of this gem from the very start: the Pig Latin translation is incorrect. I sent this note to the editor:

Your Pig Latin translations are incorrect, I think. I understood pig latin to take the first consonant of each syllable, move it to the end, and add –ay. Or:

Ouryay igpay atlayinay anstrayalayionshays are-ay inayorrayectay, Iay inkthay.

Sorry to be nerdy but it popped right out at me.

Falling on My Sword - Sort Of

At least 14 years ago, possibly more, I had an argument with the author of Executive Orc House about either the word “holocaust” or the word “apartheid”. I can’t remember which word it was but the word had been used in a Vanity Fair article to apply either to the conditions under which Muslim women live or the conditions under which Palestinians live in Israel. JFB’s position was that those words have specific meaning relating, respectively, to the conditions under which Jews suffered at the hands of the Nazis and to the conditions under blacks suffered at the hands of whites in South Africa, and that they could not be bandied about to apply to just any situation of oppressiveness. I said words of that power SHOULD be applied to other occasions of oppression to import their meaning and give gravitas to newer situations of oppression.

In the past 14 years, “we” (not JFB and I, but culture generally) have struggled with how to name oppressive regimes, but generally holocaust and apartheid have stayed off limits, per J. “Genocide” is used now.

A back-and-forth with another reader about the word “transubstantiation” (from the last post) reminded me of this discussion. Here’s why. I have always understood transubstantiation to have only one meaning: the theological meaning. That bread and wine literally become the body and blood of Christ. You can mock it as concept, but I never thought the word had any other meaning. It turns out it also means “changing one substance to another.” Who knew? So then why this flash back to 1994, sitting in the lobby of the Shoreland, waiting for the campus bus, getting heated and pissy about a Vanity Fair article? Because I thought, “Some words have only one meaning, even if they in fact have other meanings. G--D--- it.” Doh. I thought JFB deserved an apology after all these years. Its just as easy to say “change one substance to another” as it is to say “transubstantiation”, if that is all you mean. The T word seems reserved for its ecclesiastical meaning, not its alchemical meaning. Big ups, JB.

Also I agree that hardcore is tough to take now that we are old. Ska doesn’t hold up too well, either, sad to say (but you probably aren’t sad to hear).

Nino, Dios Mio, and Opus Dei

I cut my teeth on the Supreme Court nomination of John Roberts when I was a wee blogger, so it gives me some pleasure to return to my roots. I just finished reading The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court by Jeffrey Toobin. I highly recommend it, even to non-lawyers. Although there are gaping holes in Toobin's coverage (he seems to have missed Roberts enthusiasm for dancing), he manages to bring up Lil Jack's performance at the nomination press conference. But I didn't mention The Nine just so I can talk about Jack Roberts again.

I won't bother you with the "salacious" details (there aren't any, unless you are a SCOTUS nerd). Toobin does make a few interesting observations about conservatives that caused me to reflect on that species. Toobin notes that there are now five Catholics on the Court. He mentions it in the context of the idea that there is no longer a category of individuals who cannot get on the Court (Women, Jews, Blacks, Catholics - no reason to believe that a Hispanic couldn't get on board). But what interested me more was the fact that some of these Catholics are absolutely beloved by conservative, evangelical Christians. Scalia, Alito, Roberts, and Thomas are Catholic. Kennedy is Catholic too, but since he's proven to be such a disappointment to conservatives, with his Lawrence v. Texas and his foreign law "proclivities", he doesn't really help my point.

And that point is, the Catholic Church I grew up in neither loved, nor was beloved by, evangelical Christians. Recall my years at PTL. Although we were Catholic, people (okay, kids) I met there were pretty unabashed in their accusations that Catholics worshipped false idols (the saints), and engaged in Mariolatry, both of which were akin to paganism. Transubstantiation did not go over well either. "You mean, you actually think that you EAT Jesus? And drink his BLOOD?? That's so stupid!" My mother was, at times, involved in Pentacostal Catholic prayer groups, but I don't recall a particular political fervor, even around abortion. My Mom was, in fact, more of a social justice/Catholic Worker-type Catholic, and consequently so was/am I.

I know that the personal is not actually political, and that I cannot generalize from my childhood interactions with evangelical Christian children in 1985 to questions about the Supreme Court's realization as a conservative outpost in the federal government. But I am curious how a nearly rabid right-wing got into bed with Catholics, particularly in light of Toobin's other information, which is that the conservative movement's vetting of Supreme Court nominees is as awful and dark as the self-criticism exercises of Communist cells, or the Stasi. Nearly anything can brand someone as "not conservative enough". For example, Harriet Miers and Dick Cheney were skeptical of John Roberts! They thought he might not be conservative enough. And then conservatives turned on Miers like wolves. The fact that she had made explicit references to opposing Roe v. Wade during her political career in Dallas did nothing to assuage conservative fears that she was "squishy". Alito and Roberts, meanwhile, refused to address Roe v. Wade during their confirmation hearings. These two are the golden boys of the conservative revolution, the fruition of Federalist Society longings for 25 years.

Sorry

I have been feeling heat from some corners about my lack of blogging. Apologies. I had a hilarious (to me) entry about Marcel Marceau, but *someone* (who can stand behind my chair when I am blogging at home) thought it was "in poor taste". So, I tabled it, and now its stale.

Anyway, I have been way too busy to think of anything funny to say. My sister's wedding, lots of travel, and lots of work have kept me observation-free (other than, "geez, what's all this traffic?" and "SNOT? On my new blouse?? SHIT!") and basically humorless (not the wedding - it was a laugh riot).

I will try to repent, write some hilarious and poignant bon mots. Failing that, you will get your tasteless, late, off-brand Marcel Marceau post.

It's That Time of Year Again

With all the work I have, and the excitement and planning for the Impending Nuptials, I ALMOST forgot: tomorrow is International Take Like A Pirate Day! Gosh, it just comes so close to equinox and Rosh Hashanah, it can really slip right past you.

In case you find yourself without a pirate name, you can find it here. I am Joan Thieving Arse, which is cool. Me pirate's vessel is The Madness of The Manta. Me favorite poet is ARRRchibald McLeish. Me favorite disease is SARRRS. I like MARRRRshmellows. Me sister is an ARRRchitect.

Okay, you get the picture. Assume your eye patches.

In Case You Missed This

The 2007 Air Guitar World Championship is over. Can there really be a "winner" of such a thing?

I think the guy in the overalls there looks a bit like a neighbor of mine. Not that I have seen him play air guitar, but he reads this blog, so he can expect to be called upon to perform a little Yngwie Malmsteen next time I see him.

This Is It?

So that's it then? Freeze a pitbull and call it Chupacabra? I don't know, I expected it to be scarier. More Satan than Spuds McKenzie.

Like many from Mexico, this chupacabra was found in Texas. (Is that offensive?)

I am suspending my normal "meh" attitude towards Dave Matthews because this is a pretty good song, but more importantly because Zoe choreographed the video and dances in it.

Cool!

And lest you think my sister and I are the dullards of the family, think again. Lorin is the project manager on the retro-fit and re-design of Casa Zimbabwe, a housing collective at Berkeley. Thus her irritation at not being permitted to install nuclear exit signs. I can't find any pictures of the C.Z. architectural changes, but you can see from the outside that they are probably very dramatic, since this is what they are working from.

Perhaps Lorin will share some photos with us so I can sing her praises as well.

Funniest Brain Fart Ever

Today I was talking to somebody about an Alabama Supreme Court case and I inadvertantly referred to the former Chief Justice as Rudy Ray Moore. I immediately corrected myself (its Roy Moore) but it sent me into a whirlwind of giggles at the idea of it. Herewith, some Rudy Ray Moore:

Black Hole for Your Soul

I hate Burning Man so much that I usually don't even write about it. But a guy committed suicide by hanging this week at Burning Man this week, and revelers below him didn't tell officials for two hours because they assumed that it was an art piece. That festival is such a complete vaccuum of humanity.

I realize that I am sounding more conservative with each post but the squandary* of energy and morality that is pwogwessive politics and culture these days irritates me beyond explanation.

Speaking of "Art", there's a group of artists who have a web project "which aims to buy Google with funds generated via Adsense." Now THAT'S Art.

*I made up this word.

What Else Can You Do?

I cannot imagine the frustration of being a bureaucrat in Berkeley. It is a town where protests are their own form of bureaucracy, something to be endured to obtain the public benefit of "enjoying" (if you can call it that) Berkeley.

Because of Berkeley protesters, I find myself hating causes with which I am otherwise sympathetic. For example, oak groves. I love them. They are great. Good for the environment, good for the children. Only jerks would want to raze them (grrrr) to build a sports stadium. Sports: BOOOOOOO!!!

But then a bunch of people decide to live in them, and enlist droves of other idiots to bring them food and water and High Times magazine, in order to stop the inevitable construction of said sports complex (the old one being probably seismically a fucking mess - which is another thing I hate: earthquakes).

In preparation for The Big Cal Game this weekend, university officials erected a fence around the tree sitters and are prohibiting access by the water-bearing minions. That's an 8-foot chain link fence. You might think that's overkill, but here's what the university is dealing with:

Ground crews supporting the tree sitters alternatively yelled at workers and peacefully strummed guitars as the crew worked.

Asked if the university's action amounts to a move to starve out the tree sitters, Assistant Chief Mitch Celaya — who was spray painted on his neck in the fray — said people can draw their own conclusions.

If I got spray-painted on the neck by a hippie harassing the hardhats and strumming a guitar, I would do more than erect a fence. But of course, Berkeley tried that 30 years ago and all it bought them was more of the same.

Anyway, if you are irate because I have sold out or something, consider this:

"We believe the protesters in the trees are sincere, but misguided," university spokesman Dan Mogulof said. "This is not an ancient grove. All but three of these trees are here because of a 1923 university landscaping project."

The Enduring Popularity of the Plastic Sweatsuit

I hit the gym this a.m. Mmm, invigorating. But if you'll indulge me a little rooney* here, what is up with people still wearing plastic garbage bag-style workout clothes? Wasn't this method of weight loss discredited in 1981? It conjures up such a gross scenario if you dwell for even one second on what is going on inside the bag.

Alright, enough.

* "rooney" = observational humor in the manner of Andy (not Asian stereotyping in the manner of Mickey)

Another Movie Review

M notes in a comment below that I would have known that drug dealers have submarines if I had watched the Miami Vice movie last year. Coincidentally, we watched it this weekend, and it was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I am not sure that I would have deduced that drug dealers have submarines, because that movie was the most opaque and boring piece of crap ever made.

When it came out, I remember reading that the budget of the movie exceeded the Miami Police Department budget by an outrageous amount. So. Stupid.

Don't forget the survey.

Don't Forget

the survey.

Stuff I Didn't Know

Drug cartels have submarines. Which suggests that street level busts ("rip and runs" in the parlance of The Wire) are probably not going to fix the problem of drugs.

Another thing I don't know: What you call the old cable boxes where you slid a thing along the numbers to change to channel. Here's why I was trying to figure that out yesterday.

In a comment to my post about Leona Helmsley, my sister said that she may have thought I was the Queen of Mean, but she could not remember if she said it out loud. Here's why she thought I was so mean:

I'm thinking of the hours I spent watching TV sitting next to it so I could
change the channel for you. Who needed a remote when you had a little sister?

In my own defense, we didn't have a remote. We had the aforementioned box (at least while we lived at my grandparents), and if we got caught watching MTV, or even the video show on Nickelodeon, we would get in trouble. So someone had to sit under the TV ready to change the channel in case my grandfather came in. At the time, it seemed obvious who that "someone" "had to" be.

Another Wicked Talented Cuz

I've already blogged about lovely and brilliant cousin Kate. Now you need to meet her also lovely and also brilliant sister Zoe. Zoe is the female in this duet, and, I believe, the choreographer.



She's very awesome to watch. Catch her before its $5463 to get a ticket to her shows. (I hear that's the going rate for dance performances these days).

NFL Players and Pigeon Poop

Whew, I have a lot to say today.

First of all, I read this article which sent me a mini-bender, so much so that I sent a letter to Howard Bryant, the columnist. Here's what I said:

Mr. Bryant: A friend forwarded your column to me today, wondering what I thought. I am an attorney representing unions, but not the NFL Players Association. Here’s what I said:

He’s wrong:

“The responsibility of a union is to defend its membership -- every time, all the time, if for no other reasons than to send a dissenting vote to management that its membership always will be protected by a strong union and to alert the commissioner that his powers always will be checked by an advocate for the players. The union's message should be that a commissioner cannot simply do whatever he wants.”

The union represents all of its members, not just individuals. Without a union, a worker, including a football player, is an at-will employee. With a union, a worker is not guaranteed absolute job security. The restriction on the employer is that disciplinary action will be taken “for just cause” and not out of favoritism, personal animosity or discriminatorily. But “just cause” has some meaning, and in the context of the NFL, the employer may have decided that Vick’s actions are so abhorrent that they warrant termination for just cause. Criminal behavior certainly hits that mark. The decision then rests with the union whether to grieve that disciplinary action or not. The union’s duty is a duty of fair representation, which means that their decision cannot be arbitrary, discriminatory or in bad faith. This is a low standard that gives a union a great deal of discretion about which issues they wish to pursue on behalf of their members as a whole. Clearly the union can agree not fight a losing battle, in the interest of protecting a good and open relationship with an employer (which is in fact a goal of mature labor relations) and in the interest of protecting their other members. NFL players have a lot of impunity, rarely being called to task for their criminal conduct, but that could change, in the media, in culture on a hot dime. By staking a position that there is some behavior which is too terrible to protect, the union softens the blow for other players who are under scrutiny for “lesser” offenses (putting aside how many of these “lesser” offenses involve domestic violence), and lets the union defend them without a public outcry.

Not exactly Mencken, I know. Maybe I will put this over at The Union Lawyer so no one will have to read it.

In other news, pigeon shit may be a contributing factor in the Minneapolis bridge collapse. There is SO MUCH to worry about in this world.

Navel-Gazing 2.0

Sorry that I have been acting like I just discovered the internets with all my dumb and slightly annoying links. Before you stop reading, can you take my survey?

Please take my Blog Reader Project survey.

Thanks. I will keep posting a link to it for as long as I can stand not having the survey results. Like say two days.

Supercrack

This is brilliant. The Red Cross has a new ad campaign to raise awareness about earthquake preparedness, because 83% of Bay Area residents have no plan and no supplies in case of The Big One.

Earthquake preparedness nags at me. Its the thing I worry about after I have exhausted the following topics: L's obsession with dinosaurs, the amount of sleep/fresh fruit that Mr. Scobie doesn't get/eat, my work, my grandmother, my student loans (not necessarily in that order).

Anyway, the other day I was going to order some extra food and water because I was having the groceries delivered, and I figured it would save me a lot of hassle. And then I just forgot to do it. But I also thought: well, we have some cans of soup, I don't really need to get food. How dumb is that? We have possibly two cans of soup. We have lots of breakfast bars too. That's basically it. Neither flashlight has good batteries, and the embarrassment of batteries in the fridge aren't the right size for the flashlights. Meeting plan? Not there yet.

So I will move earthquake worrying to higher on the list. What meager supplies have you laid in, or what other self-justification have you indulged in?

UPDATE: In an attempt to make some use of my utter procrastination, I did a bit of on-line shopping for our earthquake preparedness kit. Ten gallons of water, cans of Chef Boyardee ravioli, Ramen, peanut butter, canned fruit cocktail, Jolly Ranchers. If it weren't for the canned peas and condensed milk, I would be psyched for the earthquake, just so I could eat all that gross stuff.

Don't Call It A Comeback

Don't forget to check in on Ryan.

Also, I am making a half-hearted stab to keep The Union Lawyer current-ish again. This urge may pass once I get something interesting to do.

And speaking of current-ish, Executive Orc House has some excellent movie reviews today. Since I don't actually get to see new movies, I am glad to live vicariously.

Good Night, Your Majesty

With Tammy Fay Bakker and Leona Helmsley dying within weeks of eachother, I strangely feel like my childhood is over.

Granted, my childhood has been over for a long time, but those two were my anti-role models or something.

Sister who is reading this: Did you used to call me Leona Helmsley?

New World Order

FINALLY, someone has put all the pieces together. Jonathon Lee Riches has identified what must surely be a comprehensive list of all the Major Players in The New World Order. I can breathe a little easier knowing that Jessica Alba, Skittles Candy, Nobel Peace Prize, Ken Jennings, Planet of Pluto, POW-MIA, Gangs in Hong Kong, "VERN MINNI ME", Ming Dynasty, Wu Tang Clan, Nordic Gods, Medieval Times, Eglin Air Force Base, Elizabeth Smart, Meals on Wheels, Fruit of A-Loom, and Tsunami Victims* are finally being called to account for their crimes against humanity.

In less interesting news, but in keeping with my mass market children's sci-fi interest, I am reading the final Harry Potter book right now. I am about 500 pages in, and I have this to say: It sucks. It may be casting a pall over the whole series, which I have liked. This book is too long and yet Nothing happens. Most other books/series of this ilk involve A Journey or A Quest, and things move along at a decent pace. In this one, Our Heroes sit inside a tent decorated like a penthouse, and wait for the stuff they need to show up outside the door. Mostly they argue or make really bad decisions. Its derivative of good books (The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Chronicles of Narnia) and unique in how much irritating bickering and brooding there is. I suspect Ron Weasley will be the ultimate hero of this one, because he, at least, leaves rather than navel-gazes, and then has actual epiphanies and emotional growth.

Maybe it picks up in the last 60000 pages.

* I am not even sure that I picked the funniest ones.

Meet Leonidas the Gibbon

Or just kill some time. I am nerdy enough to be psyched for The Golden Compass movie (even though it stars, gag me, Nicole Kidman), so go ahead and see if you can change my Daemon for me.

Yes, I do work.

Buh-bye

When was the last time you saw a man-hug that was this awkward?

McKinley's Thumb

Our office has a case in Crescent City, CA next week with which we've all played a bit of Hot Potato/Not It/(juvenile avoidance game of your choice). My excuses for not doing this case have run the gamut from "I have a case in San Ho the next day" to "I'm still nursing". Those are legit excuses, except the San Ho thing got pushed back til October. So then I thought, When will I be at Pelican Bay again? Why not take the family?

Actually, I want to go to National Redwood Park and its surroundings, and I figure we could kill two birds with one long-ass drive north. So, I was researching things that my hubs would find interesting enough to buy this crazy idea, and lo! I learned that Arcata's statue of William McKinley is missing its thumb. Apparently, "pinheads" stole it. It was eventually recovered, with the mayor making this criticism:

I just think it was a stupid, selfish, unjustifiable act. It's public property. I don't care if you don't think it was art. Get drunk and pierce your nose, but leave McKinley's statue alone.

True THAT.

Props

A friend sent me this website. Apparently weight loss blogs are all the rage, but when you actually see a good one, it makes you want to run out and, well, run. Ryan is pretty inspiring.

And now, a couple of corrections:

To say that Fran Boyd spirals into drug addiction in The Corner is almost totally inaccurate, because Fran Boyd, at the beginning of the book and mini-series, is already deep in the throes of addiction. The spiralling is over and she's in the rabbit hole. ("Deep in the hole, in the hole, in the hole....").

Second, I understand that technically one cannot "quaff" a lobster. And yet I cannot think of a more descriptive term for when you basically inhale a pound-and-a-half insect's innards from its butt and arms.

Clumsy

In an attempt to do I don't recall what I accidentally flagged my own blog for objectionable content, so if I disappear from the World Wide Web then wander over to Smile Rockridge to find me. That's where I will be camping out, waiting for the Blogger Police to come find me.

Speaking of Po-leese, somehow I found the comsummate Wire website. It might get me through to Season 5.

And speaking of The Wire (come on, its been a few weeks), check up on the inspiration for Omar Little and a woman whose spiral into drug addiction is the basis of The Corner. Very sweet.

Home Again Home Again

We got home last night and while there's lots to tell, I am too tired to start with the anecdotes. The long ones, at least. Two shorties: At one point in the car, L requested The Smiths, which both warmed the cockles of my heart and chilled me to the bone, if I can mix metaphors. And between last Saturday and this past Thursday (6 days), I had lobster five times. Mmm good. I took lots of photos, too.

Here's L driving a boat. (Good idea?)




Q relishing his birthday celebration (or at least the card):



And the quaffing of the final lobster (I didn't eat them all) at MIL's birthday dinner: