This Helps

As you can probably tell from 2 posts ago, I've been feeling a little glum lately. This helps. I'm now trying to think of a mistake I can admit making so that I can post it on that site. It's a little embarassing how few of my mistakes can be shared without me feeling awful. I guess that is the point. At least it's not an embarassing awful foot-in-mouth disaster that is making me feel glum. So I've got that going for me.

Dick Van Dyke Called, He Wants The Conch Shell Back

Just when I had given up hope about ever blogging about anything wierd ever again, Joan Baez fell out of a tree. "I sleep in a tree all summer long." True? False? Don't know. Stupid? Yes.

This isn't even the wierdest celebrity news of the month, since Dick Van Dyke was rescued by porpoises when he passed out on his surf board and drifted out to sea. I'm not interested enough to speculate wildly beyond "alcohol vs. dementia" here, but I do wonder what else is out there, celebrity-wise.

I guess this is what we have to look forward to, with the descendence of the Baby Boomers. Van Dyke is older than that, but he's really just a harbinger. Or is it a bellweather? Anyway. Whereas he was once on the cutting edge of TV, I fear he is now on the cutting edge of elderly celebrity conduct. Betty White has lulled everyone, with her sharp comic timing, into thinking she's the norm. But really, Sean Young is the norm. Possibly even Margot Kidder is the norm.

Whoever the norm is (Shaq?), it is not going to be pretty. Or rather, it might be pretty, but it will certainly be crazy.

Should I Keep This Up?

National Blogging Month really makes a gal focus on the important things. Like, should I keep blogging? I haven't really felt inclined most days. Plus, I went back to the beginning of this blog, and it was way better then. It used to have silly themes and random stories, and attempted at originality. Barely any of that exists now. Most of my snarky one-off comments have moved over to Facebook and Twitter, or I just keep it to myself because I am too worried that someone I work with will find this blog and it will be a disaster for my career. As I "mature" (and I mean that in a bad way), I worry more and more that this blog might be a platform for some terrible self-destructive revelation that triggers my downfall. Not like I am a big celebrity or anything, but that happened to a guy I tangentially knew, so I am paranoid. Add in the fact that I barely ever read new books, watch new movies* or buy new music - much less stalk the Montgomery Advertiser or Nelson Marans - and there is practically nothing to say.

Here's what I thought I would do. I thought I would do a poll of my various options at this point and let you, the readers, be the judge of this blog's fate. But then I decided that I was too lazy to figure out how to add a poll, so instead, I will just list the options, and you can comment on them. Be aware, if I don't get comments from certain people, I will assume that this blog has lost its core readership, and I may not continue it.

1. Stop blogging; I follow you on Facebook.

2. Stop blogging; I follow you on Twitter.

3. Stop blogging at this website; I will follow you onto a software platform that is easier to post to.

4. Keep blogging here. **

5. If you get fired from this or any future job because of any content or revelations on this blog, I promise to employ you at your last rate of pay ad finitem to continue this blog.

6. Yo no leer en Engles.

* We watched Scott Pilgrim vs. the World last night, and I really liked it. Best line from a tertiary character, "Their first album is so much better than their first album."

** You will need to add some vaguely flattering remarks if you vote for this one, as I am feeling very down on the quality of the blog at this time.

Baffled By the Limits of Social Networking

Last night I blogged about how odd it is that my college development office hasn't discovered Google. This evening, I had a nice night catching up with my mom about her various lifelong friends and their adult children. This is the verbal equivalent of reading Christmas card letters; the whole time you are thinking, "Whu?" but your mouth is saying, "NO! And then what did you say?!" because you can't believe so-and-so works at ESPN, or got divorced, or is Christian, or missed a funeral of a family member. (It's best when it's all 4, but that literally never happens. It would be a Gossip Utopia).

Once my mom left, though, I had to check Facebook to see whether any of these folks are plugged into the matrix. The overall picture I get is that Facebook's 500 million members do not include the offspring of my mother's friends. Which would make them the perfect match for my college's development office's Lost List. They are truly lost, I think. Except that my mom probably has their address.

Anyway, I am not planning on going to my college reunion, but I wonder if I should host a reunion of my virtual memory, where I invite all the people I think I know, based solely on the fact that I've been kept apprised of their lives these past 35 years. It's a stretch to get them to travel out here, but I am sure we can find a central location in the Midwest that would suit us all just fine. God knows what we'd talk about. No, literally, God probably does know. Most of my mom's very long-time friends have some religious affiliation, so I am sure we are either a lopsidedly heathen crew or most of them are itinerant preachers. Either way, God is probably keeping tabs.

Development Office Fail

We got a letter today about our 15th reunion from college. On the back of the letter is a Lost List - people for whom the college cannot find any contact information. A number of the names are completely new to me, but two of them are good friends of mine. They are both on Facebook, and at least one of them is also friends with the Reunion Co-Chair. A Google search of one of them turns up almost 600 references to her specifically, as well as her company and her political contributions. Google searchs of other classmates result in LinkedIn profiles as the first result.

Does the Development Office not know this? Or is there some ethical issue with them doing any kind of research to find these individuals? There are only about 65 "missing" people; one of the reunion co-chairs could make short work of this in an evening, with an open bottle of wine beside their computer. I'm tempted to track them all down, except that I have no intention of going to a reunion or contributing even in-kind to my alma mater (except for glowing updates to the alumni magazine demonstrating the superiority of my friends). In other words, I want to find them all, but I don't want to help the college find them. But if I did the research for any purpose other than for the college, it would be insanely creepy and wierd.

And those of you who are wondering who is on the list, one is a female living in Britain who has a political resume, and the other is a male living in Chicago who is from western New York, and is probably reading this blog. And wanting to stay lost.

What's Up?

Hey homeys. Or is it homies? Whatever. I'm just over here revelling in my homemade bolognese sauce, which is fully awesome, and not worrying myself about blogging. Other things I am "worrying" about: Thanksgiving dinner.

Today's NYT Dining section threw me for a loop. Now I've gotta cut the whole bird up before I cook it? What do I look like, Sam the butcher bringing Alice the meat? Or else buy a digital thermometer? Where was Bobby Flay with this nonsense back in 2006 when the NYT did their last decent turkey recipe, and I only had to make little foil hats for the turkey's "breasts"?

I'm hosting T-giving this year for my sister and her in-laws, and possibly A Very Special Guest. My sister is extremely pregnant and I am hoping for some madcap shit whereby the brussel sprouts induce labor. Panic and hilarity WILL ensue. Our family actually has a lot of experience with Thanksgiving drama: my stepsister's daughter was born basically in the way that I've just described. And, before I was born, my great grandfather died on Thanksgiving morning and my gram and her mother made dinner regardless for the waiting hordes (6 kids, etc). In case you are wondering where I get my aggressive practicality, legend has it that my grandmother said to her mother, as the funeral director took her father's body out of her house, "what do we do now?" and my great grandmother said, "Well, make dinner. Everyone's got to be hungry."

And speaking of family, my cousin Kate has a new installation in LA that you should check out, if only by visiting this website.

The young activist

Our seven year old is presently engrossed by sharks. Engrossed doesn't cover it actually. Obsessed really. And all he wanted was a set of shark jaws. He didn't even want them as a gift; he decided he would buy them with his own money. For three days straight, he requested paying jobs to finance this purchase. He quickly went from $17 in savings to the needed $24 by sweeping the walk, emptying the trash and the dishwasher (separately), putting away his clothes, and other things that probably weren't worth the quarters I was doling out.

When I realized that this purchase was about to become a reality, I tried another tactic. How about adopting a shark instead? He liked this idea but offered two friendly amendments: 1) let's do both and 2) let's pay to tag a shark instead. That costs about $2000. The idea fizzled because he wasn't willing to wait to collect the adoption sum before buying the jaw.

(In case you think I am a wuss who can't stand up to a 7 year old, save it. I can't. This child is relentless.)

My next approach was to inform him that the jaws are only harvested as a byproduct of awful shark finning. I got a blase look that told me he was pleased that they were using more than one part of the shark before they threw it back.

We not only bought the jaw, but he got another for his birthday from certain loving family members. And then a co-worker found one in her attic and gave it to him. Now that we own 3 shark jaws, he has suddenly decided that finning is an evil which he will personally battle. After proposing a series of gruesome actions we could take against the Chinese and Thai governments (whom he believes are responsible for failing to outlaw finning), he decided that our country needs to take action. How, then, can a seven year old seek redress of his grievances? "Barack Obama needs to stop them!"

Let me translate: "Dear President Obama: Can you help us from from people stop finning Love Liam Dooley". I sent a helpful translation on a post-it note just in case someone is motivated to read this letter. I will let you know if we get a response. Good luck getting a shark jaw of your own after this!

Can't Pull It Off

I'm too rusty to post anything new tonight. It was a crappy day - jury duty, a flooded kitchen, a monumental temper tantrum (not gonna say who it was. . . ) (it was mine). It's Thursday night, which means there is television on. So I'm gonna pass on trying to be funny or smart today. Check the archives for something hilarious or insightful. KTHXBY.

November 3 Blog Post

Woo hoo! I've made it three days in a row!

After you read this (likely to be underwhelming) post, I highly encourage you to read this post by my neighbor. It's really thought-provoking. How do we raise our kids not just with the right values in the moral sense, but in the civic sense? And I don't mean that like, making sure they vote and don't shirk jury duty. But how do we help them understand themselves and one another as citizens? What do we mean when we want them to be proud to be an American? And how do we fit it in with the other minute details we are trying to impart. I spend so much time trying to get my kids to put their napkin on their lap, I can barely imagine the luxury of answering these questions. But they are good ones.

I am particularly keen on parenting today. It's my older son's 7th birthday, and I can hardly believe it. Here he is when he turned 3.

And here is he is with his little brother yesterday:

Really really really hard to believe. How do I (we) turn these little Greasers into grown men? Still beyond my comprehension.

November 2 Blog Post

Again, I can't think of a title, but I have plenty to blog about.

Feeling pretty vindicated on my Nevada senate analysis, even if the House is going Republican.

Terrifying, isn't it? It's worse than just my high school uniform. It's my face transformed into Cathy, wearing my high school uniform. One thing I do like is the verisimilitude of this nasty sweater to my uniform sweater. Although this sweater is threadbare enough to be see-through, I didn't actually wear it in high school. My high school sweater was bulletproof polyester, and was "embroidered" with the school name over one breast. I am wearing men's boxers under the skirt - a trend abhorred by Sister Patricia and a num I can only remember to be named Sister Puella (Latin word for "girl") because that is how she addressed us, "Puella, read the next paragraph A-Loud."

And speaking of nuns, and this is an awkward transition, but since it's also Dia de Los Muertos, I thought I'd share a few pictures of my favorite deceased. The first shows my grandparents at a Halloween party - yes, my Pop is the nun and my Gram is the monsignor - and the second shows my grandmother with her older sister, Rita. Aka Sister Immacula, sans habit. All three of these folks are among the most influential in my life. Viva Marie! Viva John! Viva Rita!

Talk about Effective

Now THIS is a good campaign ad:

2010 Endorsements

I understand that the Vote By Mail folks already have their ballots, so I thought I would do an endorsement post, or at least round up the best of what I understand people like me should want to vote for. I'll get some obvious and easy ones out of the way:

Gov: Jerry Brown

Senate: Barbara Boxer

Secy of State: Debra Bowen*

*favorite politician in Cali

I'll stop here to mention a couple of logistical things. If you'd like to Vote By Mail, it's not too late to sign up. In Alameda County, you can register to Vote By Mail up until October 26, but that seems like it's cutting it kind of close (since it's next Monday). If you vote by mail, don't forget to add extra postage; this year's ballot will cost 78 cents to mail. Back to work:

Lt. Gov: Gavin Newsom

Controller: John Chiang

Treasurer: Bill Lockyer

Attorney General: Kamala Harris

Insurance Commissioner: Dave Jones

Board of Equalization: Betty Yee

9th Congressional Dist: Barbara Lee (although it would be nice to have a choice in this spot one day)

14th Assembly Dist: Nancy Skinner

If you live in a different assembly district, let me know, and I might have some idea how you should vote. For example, I like Sandre Swanson.

For judicial retention, the only judge I know on the list is Martin J. Jenkins and I can definitely recommend him. He used to be a federal judge, and he's very smart. I think he left the federal bench for financial reasons. How frakkin' sad is that? Federal district court judges make $169,300 a year - just slightly higher than a first-year associate at a major firm.

Speaking of judges, I think I am going to support Victoria Kolakowski for Superior Court Judge Office #9. She's in a run-off with John Creighton, who is in the District Attorney's office. Too many judges have law enforcement/prosecutor backgrounds, and Kolakowski's experience will provide more diversity of legal experience (among other things) to the bench.

State Superintendent: Tom Torlakson

AC Transit Director, at large: Joel Young (based solely on the recommendation of a co-worker)

Now, the Propositions are dicey. My first impulse is always to vote NO on all of them in protest of the whole govern-by-proposition process. But then I get in the weeds and find that occasionally a proposition does something that I want to happen, and it can't or won't happen legislatively. For example, Prop 25 lowers the legislative vote requirement to pass a budget from two-thirds majority to a simple majority (except for taxes). I think that's a good idea. California is completely paralyzed by its budget process. So Vote YES on Prop 25.

Prop 19 is a lot tougher. This legalizes marijuana for non-medical purposes. In general, I support legalization with a hold-my-nose proviso. Literally. I completely hate the smell of pot. Some amount of fear-mongering works on me in this area. On balance, I think that this is a good idea, and we might not have a better proposition or piece of legislation any time soon. YES on Prop 19.

Much easier: Prop 23. Vote NO. California's groundbreaking pollution control laws should be left in effect.

Sorry that I am skipping around here. I will summarize in order, plus add a few that I am too lazy to summarize for you.

Prop 19: YES

Prop 20: See below

Prop 21: YES (State Parks Trust Fund)

Prop 22: NO (would tie the state's budget hands even tighter)

Prop 23: NO

Prop 24: YES

Prop 25: YES

Prop 26: NO

Prop 27: See below

Prop 20 and 27 are the really tough ones. The voter guide I got is not helpful either. Props 20 and 27 are two sides to the same coin. Prop 27 eliminates the redistricting commission created 2 years ago that took post-census redistricting away from the legislature. Prop 20 would continue the redistricting commission. The Democratic Party opposes Prop 20 and supports Prop 27. If both pass, whichever initiative gets more votes will be the law. To understand why this issue is so difficult, read this blog post. It helps explain why the Democrats oppose Prop 20 but why maybe you should support it. I haven't decided on this one myself. I'm inclined towards supporting Prop 20, actually, but don't feel like I have all the arguments sorted out, partly because the Secretary of State voter guide has totally insane arguments about the topic. I'd be interested in what others think, if you've made it this far....

You are going to think this is wierd

The other day, I saw this really beautiful bird in a parking lot near my office. It was eating some loquats that had fallen from a nearby tree, and had beautiful red-orange feathers in its tail and at its neck. I tried to take some pictures but the bird waddled away before the iphone could snap. Anyway, I was super-excited to identify it today as a Northern Flicker. The one I saw was a male, I think, because it had a red mustache. Possibly the only beautiful red mustache in the world?

Don't worry that I am going to turn this into a birding blog or something. As you can see from my Twitter feed to the right, I actually commanded the people of Los Angeles to kill their roosters this morning after two woke me up with their infernal cawcawCAW before the sun came up. Stupid roosters of Los Angeles don't even know what time they are supposed to crow.

Musings

A lot of people think that the internet is speeding up information - that by having the internet available we can get information overload. I'm starting to find it has the opposite use. I'm not unique to notice this. Many critics argue that, on the internet, you never get exposed to alternative perspectives, or get news that's outside your interest, because you stay exclusively on sites that share your world view. I'm noticing a different kind of filter. Rather than only visiting sites that have content that I already care about, I am using the internet to block real time information that I might find upsetting. Like I can't watch this miner rescue on CNN, even though the TV is about 30 inches away from me. I'd rather have it filtered and screened by the internet, just in case something terrible happens.

And speaking of terrible things happening, did you know that squirrels can get depressed?!?!? Thanks to my mother-in-law who vigilantly reads the Bay Area news so I don't have to, I can now worry about renegade animal shelters. And what is the word where you believe certain species have a greater entitlement to rescue then others? Species-ist? That's me. DON'T RESCUE SQUIRRELS AND RACCOONS. It's called natural selection, bee-otches. Get used to it.

And speaking of Bay Area news, I strongly encourage you to read the Bay Citizen. They have some sort of strategic synergy etc etc with the NY Times, which has greatly enhanced the NYT's California coverage, and they are miles better than the SF Chronicle and the Oakland Tribune, truly two of the most craptastic papers in any major metropolis. If in fact that's what this is.

Other things you should read:

Sassydotnet: River Heights - My friend Beth is reading all the Nancy Drew books sequentially.

Irons in the Ring of Fire - My friend Edie is in Bali

Skin and Scares - My friend Jason covered True Blood all season for Slate and I didn't pay any attention but if you're the kind of person who is going through withdrawal for that show, then have at it.

One of these days, I will do an endorsement post, Oaklanders, I promise.

Oh and this too

Chuckling Over Here

And this is apropos of nothing, but we are reading Harry Potter to our son, and I've noticed that J.K. Rowling really overdoes it with the adverbs. Just too many of them. And now I am watching Project Runway, and noticing that Tim Gunn uses too many as well. Like, how many ways can a person tell another to consider the "Piperlime accessory wall." "Use it thoughtfully . . . fiercely . . . appropriately . . ." And now in general, I don't want to here any word that has a -ly suffix.

Freedom

Okay, I have successfully finished a popular novel roughly contemporaneous to its publication date and I feel the need to celebrate a little with a meandering and unhelpful review.

Jonathon Franzen's Freedom will definitely find its place on college syllabi as soon as its published in paperback. The theme is right there in the title and any time you stop to remember that, you chuckle, because there it is, in the novel, being fiendishly costly and soul-crushing. Only those who lack freedom seem really free and yet seem maddenly flat, as characters. I'm thinking of Connie and Lalitha here, fellow readers. Freedom's political extremism and wacky family politics recall White Teeth, without having the freshman over-achieving silliness that novel had. Franzen deserves the comparison to Gatsby, if only because a body of water at its center is the locus of the main characters' dreams and aspirations, and so much goes awry for people for whom the reader feels so ambivalent.

Anyway, I'm being vague because the novel is too complex to summarize, and because I only finished it 10 minutes ago and haven't digested it completely. Two thoughts: Clarence Darrow said, "Freedom is a hard thing to preserve. In order to have enough, you must have too much." Freedom, the novel, holds a mirror to that, and makes me wish that it weren't so. I wish we could be freer with less.

Internet "Hiatus"

Unlike my sister, I can't maintain a blog and read an actual book at the same time. In fact, I can barely read books at all anymore, blog or no. The last book I remember reading was Netherland. I am sure there has been one since but if so, I can't remember what it is. So I am dialing down all non-work internet time to read Freedom by Jonathon Franzen. Good so far. More news as events warrant. This means I will only be able to update my Twitter feed like once every other night.

Happy Labor Day!

I'm going to try to spend my Labor Day weekend not watching the funeral march of the Labor Movement that is daily passing through my life. Instead, I thought I'd share a couple of my favorite union videos:

Completely Off Topic

From fear I've bored some of you to death with my inquiry on the origins of current fashion (aka "the fruitbowling of hipsters"), I thought I would share some things that made me laugh recently.

F U Penguin (h/t j lav). I particularly enjoy Tibetan Fox.

Granite State of Mind.

And the newest video from Ted Leo and the Pharmacists:

Ted Leo And The Pharmacists - "Bottled In Cork" (Official Video) from John Hodgman

Take a whispering class!