A few days ago, I posted a Facebook status update about "Ferberizing" the kids on homework and got dozens of thumbs-up. I thought I would expound a bit here.
A little background: there's a lot of drama in our house around getting homework done. The kids do it at the dining room table, and it doesn't really matter what time of day they do it, they always want lots of hand-holding and tear-drying. At Back to School Night, my older son's teacher recommended the book
Ending the Homework Hassle, and a week later, I checked it out of the library.
For kids who are not actually struggling academically, or who are not truly difficult cases, you only need to read one chapter, or even this summary of the main chapter. There are three rules:
The first rule applies to the kids. They should do their homework in their rooms or in another space away from the main part of the house designated for their work. They can ask parents a question but if the answer requires more than a clarifying example or the explanation of the wording in the directions, the parents should tell the child to ask the teacher the next day.
The second rule applies to the parents. Chillax, parents.
The last rule means that rather than giving a start time, parents should give a deadline, just like we would have at work. After 8, kids should transition to bed time or have a little family time. If they are not done, they can figure out for themselves when to finish it. Maybe the next morning or the next day. In any case, it should not be an endless battle.
These rules are intended to teach self-reliance and time management. If your kid falls behind, it's probably because they are struggling with the material, and you were masking those difficulties by doing their work for them.
So how's it going, after a week in our house? I will admit the drama has been cut dramatically. There's no more arguing or begging, threats, warnings, plea bargaining, etc. On the other hand, it's not clear that a lot of homework is getting done either. At least one set of math worksheets sits untouched, and no typing or piano practice has happened. I emailed the fourth grade teacher who recommended the book and he was totally cool with that. He said he will give Liam a completion rate next month to let him know how much he's actually doing. So I feel reassured that we are on the same page with respect to the learning skills (time management, project planning, as opposed to the actual content of the work), but it is a little hard to let go. Just as in the early years, the tears quickly gave way to sophisticated plotting, but I do think Ferberizing the homework is making my life easier. I will try to update you again in a month....
And yes, that is an Alabama license plate.
