Monday, June 03, 2013

Guest Blogger Dispatch 3: Totally Different and Unrelated Sharing

A friend shares this email from her child's preschool director:


Dear Families,

Our 11 year old son was saying things which seemed to me to have a generally negative turn to them. Jonah told us he had overheard us having a disagreement, and that's why he was now negative. I remembered reading in Raising Happiness that if children see you reconcile with your partner,that really helps mitigate any harm they experience.  I told my son that Tim and I had made up after our argument, and were fine now. He seemed to perk up. 

SEND FRUIT FOR OUR COMMUNAL FRUIT SALAD
On Thursday and Friday we will assemble a fruit salad with the kids using the fruit you send in.  Organic preferred!

THIS WEEK'S SNACK
A.M.: hummous, chips and carrots or celery (Mon-Wed). Snack on Thurs and Fri will be fruit salad
P.M.: dates

Okay, my friend shared this with me for the first part of the letter, which is just way too much information, and also veers very close to an admission of make-up sex without actually saying it. Or am I reading too much into it? Anyway, I continued with some other components of this newsletter because two OTHER things completely grossed me out besides the over-sharing: 
1) communal fruit salad prepared by preschoolers
   a) of course organic is preferred. Why did that need to be mentioned?
   b) Why isn't this just called germ salad or immune booster salad?
2) dates
   a) ewww
   b) no non-Hellenic (and I do mean from ancient Greece) toddler has ever like dates, because no one does, and also, aren't they a choking hazard? I guess its better than the toddler-prepared fruit salad they will be getting in the mornings

Thanks for oversharing, guest blogger!

Guest Blogger Dispatch 2: Read the Other One First


Mudcats Suffer Setback; Still in Playoff Hunt

June 2, 2013 (AP) – To invoke the motto of ABC’s Wide World of Sports, the Mudcats went from the “thrill of victory” to the “agony of defeat” in less than 24 hours.  One day after winning their opening round playoff game in walk-off fashion, on Sunday the Mudcats surrendered a three run lead to the Volcanoes in the top of the sixth inning and then gave up a whopping eleven runs in the top half of the extra frame to go down to defeat 16-7.  After scratching out a 5-2 lead against the Volcanoes ace pitcher Smiley – so nicknamed by the Vols coaches for his stoic demeanor – the Mudcats took the field in the top of the sixth needing just three outs to advance to the next round of the winners’ bracket to play the top-seeded Dragons.  Unfortunately for the ‘Cats, some untimely wild pitching allowed the Volcanoes to knot the score at 5.  The ‘Cats had a chance in the bottom of the sixth for back-to-back walk off wins, but William struck out on a check swing on a tough inside fastball, stranding a Catfish at third and sending the game to extra innings.  In the bonus round, the wheels came off the bus for the Mudcats, as none of a series of Mudcats’ pitchers could find the strike zone, allowing eleven runs to score on walks.  Down but not out, the Mudcats managed to put two runs on the board in the bottom half of the sixth, but could muster no more.  Liam Dooley, the hero of Saturday’s game, played a solid game in the field at first and behind the plate as catcher and went 2-4 at the plate, putting the bat on the ball each time he came up to hit.

The Mudcats next play the fifth-seeded Redwings in a win-or-go-home game on Tuesday afternoon.  With many of the Mudcats regular starting pitchers limited due to league pitch count rules, Liam is expected to see extended action on the bump for the ‘Cats.  First pitch is 5:00 PT. 

Dooley Dazzles; Turns Double Play

June 2, 2013 (AP) – In a late afternoon tilt, the Farm A Cardinals continued their solid play in the field and at the dish in a Farm A match up with the Mariners.  Although league rules do not allow for score to be kept in the Farm A division, unofficial reports had the Cardinals winning 17-12 in a four-inning slug-fest.  The game saw several smart plays in the field by Danish transplant Daniel Kvaerno, kindergarten call-up Xan, and surprise defensive whizz Diego (known more for his prodigious strength at the plate than his play in the field ), but none could match highlight reel catch of first baseman Quinn Dooley.  In the fourth inning, with runners on second and third, and nobody out, Quinn stabbed a sharply hit liner out of the air and deftly doubled off the Mariner on first who had taken off with the hit.  Reliving the play in his backyard the next day, Quinn reported that his play “was totally easy.”

The Cardinals return to the field Sunday, June 9, for their season finale.

Guest Blogger Dispatch: Mudcats Win; Dooley Awarded Game Ball



June 1, 2013 (AP) – The second-seeded Mudcats survived a scare from the seventh-seeded Grays in the first round of the NOLL Division AA playoffs, winning on a walk off, two-run single in the bottom of the sixth inning to cap a six run  come back.  Coach Chuck awarded the game ball to young Liam Dooley, whose stellar pitching performance in relief kept the Mudcats in the game.  In the top of the fifth inning, with his team already trailing 7-2, Liam was brought in to pitch with the bases loaded and nobody out.  In the bleakest of circumstances, Liam brought the Mudcats fans to their feet by shutting down the Grays, striking out two and deftly fielding a ground ball for a force out at home.  After the Mudcats put four runs on the board in the bottom of the fifth inning to narrow the deficit to 7-6, Liam again shut the Grays down in the top of the sixth.  Liam struck out the side, giving up only a harmless single, to set the stage for the Mudcats to complete their comeback.  Liam lead off the bottom of the sixth inning with an infield single and moved to second on a misplayed pop fly hit by Keeshan.  Then, after advancing on a wild pitch, Liam and Keeshan scored when Eli hit a single over the head of the center fielder to end the game in dramatic fashion.  Liam, who also played two solid innings at catcher, finished the game 2-3 at the plate with two runs scored.  The Mudcats advanced to play the Volcanoes at 11:00 a.m. PT today as the NOLL/SOLL Division AA double-elimination playoff tournament continues.

Friday, May 31, 2013

Leaving the House

Last night, I went to a show. The band was The XX, whom I had never heard of before and can't honestly say I would recognize again if I heard it today. They were described to me as minimalist, but I'm not sure why. They only had three members, and the "percussionist" played beats, I guess, but it didn't sound minimal at all, since it was loud as hell and had a huge light show and enough sonic layers to be described as complex.

But I digress. What was interesting to me about the show was the scene. It seems like music has finally arrived at a place where girls are more welcome, and so are gay kids, based on some of the smooching I saw. Given, this band was pretty twee, but I've seen aggro crap at twee shows, and that really wasn't in evidence. The crowd was diverse and well-behaved. The whole situation was almost unrecognizable to someone who started seeing live music 25 years ago. And the crowds had even settled down by then, compared to what it was like 10 years before that.

I'm just commenting on it because it surprised me.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Berkeley Never Fails

I stopped reading the Berkeley Parents Network newsletters when my kids started sleeping through the night. Thankfully, I have friends whose kids must not be sleep trained because sometimes I get juicy updates like these two.

 Mindful Housesitting (Berkeley)


-----------------------------------------------

Mindful Housesitting:
Offering Housesitting in a spirit of mindfulness and kindness.
Blessings for your plants, pets, mail, gardens, and home.
Good references and experience
Be at ease while you are away
Especially cat friendly
Mindful, caring, reliable, honest, clean, quiet, gentle, focused, drug/drama/alcohol free, and goodhearted female.
Please contact: mindfulhousesittingamyi@xxxx.com
Longer arrangements given priority, advance arrangements appreciated.
Barter/Trade-OK; donations always appreciated!
Thank you.
Contact: Amy email: amyibelieve@xxxxxxxx.com

Something makes me doubt the drama free part but the "especially cat friendly" part seems pretty believable. This next one makes me wonder if this gal here is actually just looking to move to the Bay Area, and has some other special skills to share.

Is there a market for a wet nurse in the bay?
-------------------------------------------

We are thinking about moving backl to the bay and I have been thinking about trying to pick up some work as a nanny (I homeschool my 2 and 5 year old aswell). I have been following quite a few posts on Breastfeeding support in different ways and it seems like wet nursing is making a come back at least a little. You think there would be any interest for this in the bay? I am very healthy and eat a very healthy diet specifically to give my daughter great milk. She would still be nursing but my supply has alwaysadjusted to meat their demand. I have always wanted to donate milk to help those that need it but just don't get anything if I pump (if I get a little it's only ever for  milk).

Would you have wanted your care tiverton step in in this way? Would it have seemed too weird to you? Wu,d your willing to pay extra? The money would come in handy as we dont yet know how we will be able to afford living in the bay again but I would also be very interested in doing it for someone who was really in need wether they could afford it or not. Happy to share this gift of nourishment


It's a huge relief that there are still wierd people out.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Who Else is Still Blogging?

I got to wondering, if Jenny is back on the blogging wagon, who else might still be out there, sharing their thoughts in a world where people increasingly read only tweets. I checked in on some other blogs I used to follow.

1. Arch Thinking. My sister has not blogged since January, and it was only to reveal that her budding art career. She's moved on to Etsy it seems.

2.  A Better Oakland is gone. At least the blog. Oakland itself has gotten better in some ways and worse in others. Probably worth its own blog post, really.

3. James Kennedy is still blogging. We had James over for dinner when he was in town for the 90 second Newbery Film Festival. Next year, we will make sure to get an East Bay viewing location. Meanwhile, you can still read his blog.

4. Speak You're Branes stopped blogging in Feb 2012. Although if you've never read it before, you don't really need it to be updated in order to find it funny.

5. Executive Orc House comes and goes at it pleases, and seems to be entirely written in a secret computer programmer language. There is a recent post, with Likes, but I have no idea what it means. Somewhere, a new Canadian is smirking.

6. Oakland Living has only sporadic posts.

Of the six that I checked, two have stopped, two are sporadic, one is cryptic and the last one is active. I am guessing this is reflective of the blog population as a whole. I will test my theory by looking at other blogs tonight. Research!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Blogs are Coming Back

Now that I am paying attention again, I want to share two new blogs that are must-follow. My old friend T&A is blogging again at My Other Blog is A Mommy Blog. Jenny is awesome; I think you'll love her as much as I do.

The other blog that I have obsessively checked like 14 times today (and today was actually way too insane to be reading blogs, involving as it did human excrement, copious amounts of bleach and a formaldehyde spill - not related incidents, by the way) is WHPK Record Library. A little back story. In college, I was a DJ and station manager at WHPK, my college radio station. The record library there was impressive. 8 foot shelves around the entire perimeter of a 12x12 foot room, with additional shelves in the middle, with every snobberific indie or punk band sandwiched into the room. Traditionally, the music director would slap a fat white sticker in the lower left corner of the record, date it and put a few comments to guide the DJ. Best cut, not-safe-for-daytime-play, etc. Other DJs could comment, and usually did. Stickers would be added, homophobic comments would be made.  The homophobic stuff is firmly not awesome, but I can attest that most, if not all, of those guys have repented their spiteful ways (externally) and some have even come out of the closet. This awesome site is posting one album per day. They could post a new album every day until the day I die and it still wouldn't touch the breadth of that record library's awesomeness.

Yes, I am nostalgic. But I also think the WHPK blog would benefit from an interactive component, like the New York Public Library Menu collection.  On this site, you can assist the NYPL decipher their enormous menu collection by transcribing the menus that have been scanned in. It's hella fun. I would totally spend hours transcribing the comments on record labels, by the way. It would be like meditation for me.

Weird s&*% doesn't just happen in Florida

A woman wrapped herself in bubble wrap to go kill her husband. What's up with that?

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Into the Void

I wrote this post in March 2007. I cannot figure out why I didn't post it. The links don't work any more, but I will see if I can find out any more information and update you later. 

Sometimes I don't post about a story because it seems so freaking obvious. But the kerfuffle about Israel's ambassador to El Salvador has been remarkably quiet. Okay, so it hasn't been totally ignored - Wonkette covered it - but it happened two weeks ago and it's just now getting press. It's not every day you hear about someone being found on their lawn, dressed in bondage gear, covered in sex toys, drunk, much less one involving a diplomat. From Israel. To El Salvador. Talk about diplomatic relations I have never even considered. Anyway, I have a couple of theories about this event:

1. If Israel had wanted this kept quiet, it would have been kept quiet. It's not like Tsuriel Raphael would be bragging about this. Take the ball gag out of his mouth, give him a cup of coffee, ship him back to Tel Aviv and tell the world press he resigned to spend more time with his family. It wouldn't even be a burp on the AP's radar. But here we are, with Israel telling it all around. I thought diplomats were known for their discretion, but I guess that's why they're recruiting now, huh?

2. "It's not like Tsuriel Raphael would be bragging about this", or would he? If you are a masochist, isn't this the zenith of mortification? Very few facts could make this story more embarassing, and if that's your bag, well, you can now die happy.

3. Was this story actually ignored for two weeks because its hard to pitch it from any angle in the mainstream media? I don't think the New York Times has touched it with a ten foot whip yet. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the priggishness of mainstream media makes editors apoplectic over stories like this one. It's like the Weekly World News meets The World.

4. Did a joke already exist that starts: "An Israeli, a Salvadoran, and a masochist walk into a bar...." or will someone need to write that now?

That's all I've got.

Finally, only two more days to join St. Scobie's Mock Brackets. To my anonymous commenter, I cannot help you unless you identify yourself. And if you've picked Oral Roberts to win it, then maybe no one can help you.

Just a Post

I think all the time about blogging again, because I really loved it when I did it regularly. It never seems like the right time to start again because it feels like I should have a momentous reason for that first start-up post. Which will turn out to be a false start, of course. So just like when I first started blogging, I am going to not tell anyone, and see if anyone finds me here.

Why did I stop blogging? For several reasons. First, I had other avenues to share my thoughts. Facebook and Twitter are not going away, folks. They are way easier to maintain than a blog, and the gratification you get from your friends' responses is almost instant. The "long" form of the blog, though, allows more rambling, which I am prone to.

I also changed jobs. At my old job, it was expected that people would have strong political views and there was no problem if you shared them. I now work for a large company where people are expected to keep their personal views personal, and you are not supposed to even check your personal email at work, much less write blog posts. As you might imagine, I am not comfortable in this environment, but I pass really well. However,  I've learned that large companies maybe are not the best place for me, and while I figure out what's next, I no longer feel self-censoring. I have a lot of things I want to talk about.

Other reasons. I don't have a lot of time. Also, I find that my hands hurt a lot. I blame the iphone I am almost constantly on. Dealing with this falls into a bucket of self-work that I think about a lot, but haven't done anything about yet. This is a giant bucket, by the way. I having been thinking a lot about perfectability and how subjective perfect is. Like, I think I would be a better (or at least healthier) person if I eliminated half and half from my coffee, but believe that I would be miserable. But then I wonder, how do I know I will be miserable? I might be fine. I used to smoke, and think that my life would be empty without cigarettes, but now that I haven't smoked in 13 years, I don't miss them. Presumably, giving up half and half would be easier than that.

Let me see if I can get back to blogging.

Monday, January 07, 2013

Can't stay away

It's New Year's resolution time, which gives me that hanker to blog on my real blog. I've really missed it, too. Mainly because my two main readers refuse to join Facebook. So the mountain will come to Muhammed on this one, and I will make another go at St. Scobies. I've also resolved a six-month long access problem (forgotten password) by changing my password. Okay, I'm back, y'all.

With a lot to blog about, actually. But I will start with New Year's resolutions. First of all, let's review 2012:

1. Less TV for kids - this happened sporadically but was offset by my kids' growing awareness of the possibilities available to them via my iPad and (sigh) the kindles Santa got them from Christmas.
2. meatless Monday - while this did not happen specifically, we had almost totally eliminated red meat from our home menu, and did increase our seafood intake. So that's something.
3. running coach (?) - This didn't happen.
4. singing lessons - This did. I took one lesson, got the jist of what it would entail, and decided I am fine singing off-key. I also took swimming lessons, and feel much more confident swimming laps now.
5. write a song? Call it "Sans Netsuki"- What can I say? I am a frustrated songwriter. However, I did start writing a scifi novel. Started it is the operative phrase, but I am committed to finishing it this year.
6. New music? - Bought Big Boi's new album. Does that count? It is awesome.
7. Date night? - In the works.
8. Videogames only as reward - Depends on your definition of reward.
9. Chores for kids - This did happen. Kids got 5 chores and while they are wildly inconsistent on doing them, reminding them is effective, because they do seem aware that they are responsible for them. 
10. See Joan Rivers movie - Didn't happen.
11. Floss more - Data not available. 
12. Harry Nillson documentary - Didn't happen. I hate documentaries.
13. see Mitch Hedberg stand-up video (RIP)  - Did this. It was probably like watching a Hitchcock film now. It was like, "what is the big deal? This is sort of derivative." and then you realize everyone else is ripping him off. Pretty funny but not, like, mind-blowing. 
14. Thank Mario - Sorry, Mario.
15. Watch more stand-up - Does reading Jason Zinoman's column count?
16. Lose the baby fat - So did not happen.
17. Get that fuckin' Jeep out of here - Happened. I had nothing to do with it, I don't think.
18. Get linen panties -  Will work on it 2013.
19. Start a denim panties business - The market is still out there.
20. Learn bird calls - Do you realize how drunk I was?
21. Get more babysitters - this happened. We LOVE our babysitter.
22. Get a public access TV show - Definitely needs to happen. Possibly will launch as a podcast. In my mind.



I am giving myself credit for 8 of these, plus extra credit for the swimming lessons and the novel. But only one extra point. So I have a completion rate of 41%. I can live with that.

And now for 2013:
1. Obtain and maintain a sour dough starter: Already ordered it. Keeping it alive will be the real challenge.
2. Take a sewing class: Only weakly committed to this, I just want to figure out how to use my sewing maching.
3. Try Pilates 
4. Read one book per month: I finished two books last week but sadly it was prior to Jan 1. I am reading Game of Thrones now.
5. Buy at least 5 new albums: Recommendations welcome.
6. Camp at least once -big basin? - Wanna come?
7. See Big Sur
8. Finish my novel about Mars
9. Oh, and I will try blogging a bit more.

More to come, I am sure. Happy New Year.

Thursday, April 05, 2012

Come Fly With Me

I've decided to have a go at tumblr which seems to be a more manageable blogging platform. I know you don't give a shit, but trust me on this one. elscob.tumblr.com

I might come back here, I might not.

Monday, April 02, 2012

By the way

I am also fully hating this new template, and it seems like all the Blogger templates are clunky and load slowly and generally don't let you choose a normal font or something. Any ideas?

April Fools Resolution

I know you've been dying to ask which of the New Year's resolutions I shared was April Fools fakery (poisson d'Avril! I shout). In truth, every single one of them was a resolution that I recorded on New Year's day, from Harry Nillson to Denim Panties, Inc. Recall too that I resolved to drink less in 2012, and you may understand why. After what amounted to an almost full day of drinking that ends with a resolution about denim panties made with a guy named Mario, you can understand why I might total my tee, so to speak.

As for April Fools, I did perpetuate one effective trick (poisson d'Avril!). I emailed B the following (Subject: Don't Get Mad):
So we went to the farmer's market this morning, and the Milo Foundation was there, and there were these super-cute cats, and the kids really wanted one, so we adopted a cat. I know you will be pissed but this is a super-cute cat. We are still discussing a names. Names proposed include Pat, Tory, Destu and Strug.
 Probably because he was at the tail end of a 48-hour bachelor party, he completely bought this. When he called to talk about it, I shouted, "Don't carry the cat around like that!" but I accidentally muted the phone with my jaw (a strangely common problem I have) and then lost steam on the joke. I don't think I've ever successfully tricked someone on April 1, and unless he's as sensorily-compromised next year, I doubt it will happen again. 

Saturday, March 31, 2012

One of Those Days

Do you ever have one of those days where you are like Why do I suddenly have too much tupperware? And then you are like Why do I care? Why am calibrating par levels of tupperware? and then your solace from this soul-sucking line of inquiry is to mock a neighbor's email request for coupons to a local arts and crafts store?

I can tell that this day has the possibility of being a long one of those days, since it's only 8:35 am and there is an unholy storm raging outside.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

2012 New Year's Resolutions Redux, aka The April Fools Edition

I finally worked up the nerve to look at my New Year's resolution list, made on New Years Day, in mid- February and I thought it was worth posting. See if you can spot the fake resolution.

1. Less TV for kids
2. meatless Monday
3. running coach (?)
4. singing lessons
5. write a song? Call it "Sans Netsuki"
6. New music?
7. Date night?
8. Videogames only as reward
9. Chores for kids
10. See Joan Rivers movie
11. Floss more
12. Harry Nillson documentary
13. see Mitch Hedberg stand-up video (RIP)
14. Thank Mario
15. Watch more stand-up
16. Lose the baby fat
17. Get that fuckin' Jeep out of here
18. Get linen panties
19. Start a denim panties business
20. Learn bird calls
21. Get more babysitters
22. Get a public access TV show

Fake resolution will be posted on April 1. Come back then!

Another awesome thing

To make it up to you for botching the stormtrooper picture in yesterday's post, I thought I would share this with you. It's a "diaper cake" that a pregnant colleague received as a baby gift. Those white things are newborn diapers rolled one by one. Isn't it awesome? 



Wednesday, March 28, 2012

A Grab Bag

I have an accumulation of stuff I want to share, so I guess that warrants a blog post.


Ahhhh, chuckley-chuckle.

And I love this, possibly more than the original:


Her Material Girl cover is pretty boss, too.

What else I got for you? Read this NY Times article One Schlep Forward. It resonated.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Is the Wierd Coming Back?

When I first moved to the Bay Area in 2000, there were a lot of wierd people here. There were more art cars, for example. How Berkeley Can You Be? was at its height. Remember the guy in the pink leotard? Where did he go? And the crime in particular was really weird. You want some examples? How about:

1. The Sausage Factory owner who killed 3 food inspectors. My memory may have an over-active imagination, but I recalled that he processed their bodies as well.

2. The Family in Marin County. You will be not so thrilled to hear that Winnfred Wright has been paroled. (How f-ed is it that child abuse is a non-violent offense?)

3. The human trafficking/death of an Indian girl, discovered by a Berkeley High student reporter. And guess what? Lakireddy Reddy has been paroled too.

4. The vaccuum salesman killer. This may be my over-active imagination again, but I recall that in 2000 or 2001, someone was either posing as a vacuum salesman or killed a salesperson at their door.

5. The Lesbian Killing Dog F***ers. To recap: two SF lawyers bought Presa Canarios dogs from an Aryan/White Brotherhood dude in Pelican Bay and then also adopted that dude and staged elaborate sexual tableaux involving themselves, the Aryan, the dogs and various medieval costumes/weapons. The dogs then mauled and basically tried to eat a neighbor, who happened to be a lesbian who lived in their building. Got all that? I won't bother you with the self-representation fiasco. Search the blog and I'm sure I've written on this topic before.

Where are they now? Marjorie Knoller is still in prison, but Robert Noel served his time fro involuntary manslaughter and is somewhere in the East Bay, baking our morning bread. Their "son's" cellmate just settled a dispute over whether he can publish a book about his role in breeding the dogs (among other insights).

And that doesn't even include Scott Peterson or the wackos who kidnapped Jaycee Dugard.

My view is that things have gotten less wierd around here, but I'm wondering if we won't see any uptick soon in the wierd. It's only a matter of time before the mountain-unicyclist is out there in a pink leotard, I'd wager.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Photo Dump 2

This is totally unrelated to the post below. We recently visited Salt Lake City, and the new Museum of Natural History - Rio Tinto Center, and it was totally awesome. A must-see if you are in SLC, and worth planning a trip if you are a dinosaur nerd. My pictures can't do justice to the exterior of the building. Visit the website to see that. My photos below are of the wall of ceratops, an allosaurus re-enactment, and the view from one window.




Photo Dump

This is a post (or series of posts) for the two of you that refuse to join Facebook. I dumped close to 200 pictures from our camera and phone tonight, so I thought I would share a few gems.


What's this, you wonder? Why, it's a mountain-biking unicyclist. He and his buddy (also on a unicycle) were hurtling down a pretty steep hill in Joaquin Miller Park a few weeks ago. Some of my hiking companions stopped to chat with them at the bottom of the hill, but I was too inherently judgmental of their fake sport to get the scoop. I was also soon riveted by an insane colony of lady bugs, all mating wildly and acting pretty unladylike, if you know what I mean.


My older son (the dour We Demand-er in front) protesting in honor of MLK Jr. Day at his school.

I can't take credit for this. Don't even know where I got it. But if you aren't on Facebook, you probably haven't seen it. 

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Totally Random

Regarding the State of the Union address: I only have one novel thing to say about it. Much was made by liberal tweeters and bloggers that this was the most hawkish peacetime SOTU address they'd ever heard, or that they couldn't believe that civil institutions were being called on to act like the military. They either feared the civil liberties implications of that, or thought it diminished what the military is fighting for. That is, the military is disciplined so that we can have an unruly civil democracy. Those were the critiques of his frequent military references.

 I actually think Obama was trying to make a subtler point, which is that Congress and its members chose to serve their country - were elected to do so - and yet exhibit very little of the organization and sacrifice that our soldiers show. I think he was contrasting Congress with the military as being do-nothing, even unpatriotic, in their resistance to any bi-partisan compromise. Or maybe that is just what I'm reading out of it because that is what I think.

On a totally different topic, here's my best maternal wisdom from today, "If there isn't vomiting and diahrea at the same time, I don't think you can call it the worst day ever." In fact, we had neither. Just an over-dramatic 8 year old and his over-dramatic mother.

What else can I tell you about? That KeN album I mentioned in the prior post? Meh. It sounds like a late Tsunami album baked too long. But it's definitely about having kids. I will probably enjoy it on shuffle. I wish Carrie Brownstein had kids and loved something over than Rock And Roll, because the Wild Flag album completely kicks ass. It just doesn't make me feel cool. It makes me feel like she's cool. In re: Florence and the Machine. My cousin said, "No men like Florence and the Machine." Which is true but a little wierd because it sounds like if Queen were women. (In my head, men like Queen. Not sure why I think that). I don't like it as much as Wild Flag.

Oh, and I watched some Mitch Hedberg on YouTube. Funny. Not like make-me-wet-my-pants funny, but more Steven Wright-chuckles. So Thanks, Mario, wherever you are.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Riot Moms, part 2

Out of curiosity, I am trying to track down music by rocker moms - women who were making music when I was in high school and college. I started at the beginning (of my musical interests) and looked for Jenny Toomey and Kristen Thomson of Tsunami. Toomey works for the Ford Foundation, after founding the Future of Music Coalition with Thomson. She doesn't seem to make music anymore, at least that she publishes.

Thomson lives near Philly, and has a going concern called KeN. First rocker mom discovered (I snooped on Facebook; she definitely has a kid or 2)! I downloaded their 2006 album. I will let you know if it's any good.

Any suggestions for lady rockers I should similarly snoop on?

Thursday, January 05, 2012

New Year's Resolutions 2012

It used to be something of a ritual around here that I would review my old New Year's resolutions and then write some new ones. I never got around to it last year, but one resolution was to find a new job, and I did that, so I feel like it was an accomplished year.

It's hard to know where to go with resolutions this year. I don't want to rest on my laurels, but I've come to like a lot of things about myself, and I don't really like sacrifice all that much. On New Year's Day -- well, actually later that same night -- I made an insane list that has items like

26. Watch some Mitch Hedberg stand-up
27. Thank Mario

I'm actually so mortified about what else I may have put on that list that I am afraid to go back and look at it. And it suggested a modest but obvious resolution of

1. Drink a bit less.

Which hasn't been all that taxing so far.

One friend we saw this weekend held the view that effective resolutions had to meet certain criteria. First of all, they need to be specific. He's right; "I will lose 5 pounds by exercising 3 times a week and eating 100 fewer calories a day" is more effective than, "Lose some weight." But it's also a little boring to make goals like that.

Another criteria, they should not be boring. He said that after he'd challenged himself to do a 100 mile bike ride, and then did it again, that really crazy resolutions do not exist. Many people can do most things (putting aside major barriers). The only stuff left is Jackass-type stuff. But if you set goals that make you less boring than you end up a better or at least more interesting person at the end of the year. He was considering trying out guitar (he's already a pianist, so not a stretch) or writing a book about a really weird case he worked on. In that vein, I am thinking about taking singing lessons. Actually I think I will resolve to:

2. Take a singing lesson

I think I have maxed out my resolution making abilities for the night. What did you resolve to do in 2012?

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

What Else Did I Want to Blog About?

The major lack of mom rock in this world, and no, I do not mean Adele. Why are there not more non-country mom bands, singing convincingly of what a pain in the ass early middle aged parenting is? Literally dozens of great bands sang about the trauma of suburban teen existence. Where are the riot grrls now? I want some decent punk mom rock.

Totally Annoyed About Today

Okay, not totally. I thought I had posted a few blog posts recently via their mobile/email capabilities, but here they aren't. Not sure they were worth recreating. One concerned a proposal to blog 300 words three times a week, which I obviously have not accomplished.

So what else is annoying me?

1. The fact that, re-reading my Oct 17 post re: the Occupy movement, I was clearly right, and yet no one, even my spouse or closest friends read this blog, so it does not fracking matter. Oh well.

2. Threat marketing. What is this, you say? This is when a company markets to you by threatening you. Here's an example. I cancelled a Capital One credit card about six months ago. We'd paid off the balance and the rate was not favorable, blah blah blah. Anyway, since then, every few weeks, Capital One emails me with an enticing offer, like 0% interest and a really high credit line, and then they give me a date by which I must accept the offer. Before that date, they send me escalatingly shrill emails threatening me that this is my last chance, I am making a huge mistake, I will never see a rate like this ever again, etc etc. It feels like an abusive relationship writ very small. Honeymoon, threat, bigger threat, deadline, cooling off. Honeymoon, threat, bigger threat, and so forth.

Another example: we get San Francisco magazine, a very glossy affair which purports to showcase SF's upper echelon. We never ordered this magazine, and yet every month, it comes with a paper wrapper declaring that our subscription has ended and we must contact them to renew. The whole thing is in a plastic bag. If I had an ounce of energy for this, I would beg them to stop sending me the whole thing, since SF's "upper echelon" is among the lamest "upper echelons" that have existed since the beginning of time.

I do not understand a marketing strategy that berates people for not buying something that they do not want. The only plausible evidence that this works is in Dr. Suess's Green Eggs and Ham, and I don't even find the ending believable in that book.

Monday, October 17, 2011

An Idea for the Occupy Movement

Let me be pretty upfront about this: I don't know very much about the Occupy Movement. Here are some things I know about it.

1. There have been a lot of Occupy demonstrations in different cities lately.
2. They use a human bullhorn, which is annoying and awesome and brilliant (since you'd expect the social movement of the social media generation to be hamstrung by restrictions on electronic gear).
3. The NYT is treating them like a font of adorable Style section content.
4. They don't have a set of political demands.

This last part seems to be annoying a lot of people, including some folks within the Occupy Movement. It annoys me too, a little bit. I agree with them (I think) but I have some fears about this component of the movement. Fears include:

1. A lack of coherent platform along with sporadic violence and the presence of Naomi Klein suggest a WTO/Seattle riots anarchist movement that could backfire on sympathetic Dems.
2. It's easy for this to get boring and stale and marginalized.
3. So much energy being wasted on committees for basic life functions has doomed other movements.

There's an article on this particular conundrum (Protesters Debate What Demands, If Any, to Make) in today's NY Times (see above). I tend to agree with the sentiment expressed, "“Like Frederick Douglass said, ‘Power concedes nothing without a demand.’ ”

So how can the Occupy Movement make demands (as they probably must) without undermining the core element that make it unique (it has no demands)?

Let's look at Douglass's maxim, and ask, "who does the Occupy Movement see as having power?" The first and more obvious answer is, "Wall Street." But a second, almost as obvious answer, "The People," since they are mobilizing people to assert their critique, and believe it is "The People" or "the 99%" who should rule our country. They do NOT think that "the Government" has power right now. Or if the Government has power, it is being mobilized by Wall Street against the interests of the 99%.

In this view, demands made on the Government are pointless because the Government does not have the power or will to act on behalf of the 99% or against the interests of Wall Street. That's why the Occupy Movement does not have political demands of the Government. Demands made of Wall Street are being made, but are not being acceded to: agree to be taxed, be prosecuted, be redistributed. These are not demands to which Wall Street will willingly accede, and the Government will mobilize in Wall Street's favor to ensure no other means are used to press those demands (i.e. the police would not allow violence by protestors).

I'm just guessing here. I have spoken to no actual Occupy movement participant and have not read any of their literature or websites or anything like that. That said, . . .

The best and most original course of action would be for the Occupy Movement to make its demands of "The People". A good first one is, move your money to credit unions. I will accede to that. They should demand that people vote, that people shop at farmer's markets, and local stores. Vote their stocks. If they can explain to me how to do that in concert with other shareholders, I am totally in. If this is a people's movement, than it should be about the deconsolidation of wealth via the (buying and saving) power of the people. They should set up a Kiva or Kickstarter for people's mortgages and student loans.

Just as none of their protest techniques are unique (except maybe that bullhorn), none of the "demands" that they should be making of us are unique. Their use and development of these and similar ideas as a platform for a new movement would be, though. And I think the 99% are listening. Or at least a majority of them are.

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Conundrum

For as long as I can remember, I have been against music nostalgia, especially in people who didn't experience particular bands in their initial heyday. Specifically I am talking here about Deadheads.

(Aside, people who like music that sounds like it ought to be from another period, e.g. jam bands, also annoy me. On the other hand, people who like Yma Sumac, the Limelighters, Julie London and Mario Lanzo do not annoy me. So maybe it's just Deadheads and jam band fans who annoy me. But that doesn't let me address my conundrum so my aside is not relevant.)

Let me start again. I've always thought that people should like the good music that is being made "now". At least, I thought that until I thought the music that is made "now" is not as good as the music that was made "when it was good." I think the late 80s through mid-90s were a particularly golden period for music, both rock and rap, and my musical tastes haven't evolved much past that time. I hadn't really noticed that I had become a music nostalgic though, until a friend sent me a link to Riot on the Dance Floor, a documentary about City Gardens, a punk club from my youth. The interviews are with bandmembers from some of my favorite bands, and wow, does everyone look old. Okay, so they were older than me then, but it didn't seem like it.

I'm not gonna go on punk nostalgia trip here. Actually I am worried that the strict cultural moral code of my youth now requires me to reject myself, hate me, find me to be stupid and flaccid and lame. Which of course I don't, but out of affection for myself want to embrace. Does that make any sense? I love my younger self like a child, and like the parent of that child want to agree with her!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Rise and Fall and Rise of Critical Thinking

Bill Keller has an editorial in the NYT Magazine called The Twitter Trap, which bemoans the decline of, well, everything due to the rise in social networks. He basically blames Twitter and Facebook for the death of critical thinking, I think. While I know some who may share that sentiment, I would argue that curmudgeons have bemoaned the death of critical thinking before such a thing was born. I think it is probably the plot of Bye Bye Birdie (girls besotted with pop star can focus on nothing else). Back-in-my-day-ness requires a near-distant utopia of critical thinkers who've evolved unwittingly into idiots due to the rise of the printing press/telephone/Xerox machine/computer/etc.

But why is Bill Keller picking on Twitter? I can think of at least 10 things off the top of my head which are easily more to blame for the death of intellect. For example,

1. Spending too much time with one's children. In our utopian past, multiple generations raised our children, freeing us to commune with eachother, engage in political organizing, and become economically literate. Now I spend a solid 6 hours of the day discussing Star Wars and sharks. Critical faculties: DOA.

2. The length of professional sports' seasons. WTF hockey and basketball? Go away.

3. talk radio

4. laundry. Have you noticed how much there is, and how the clean stuff never gets folded?

5. video games*

6. MTV*

7. bridge, canasta, Trivial Pursuit, Settlers, etc. Basically any board game that grown-ups will meet to play.

8. Email*

9. matching our shoes to our bags

10. the casinos (basically pathological #7)

* These are pastimes which once wasted huge hours of my life, and no longer do, except for video games, which have migrated through every platform I've used. You can read about it in my autobiography: From Frogger to Tetris to Farmville to Cut the Rope: One Woman's Journey through Non-Violent Videogames.

Anyway, my point? Keller is sounding an alarm that has been sounded so many times that no one really believes it or cares. This too shall pass. Twitter will just get absorbed and shelved in its rightful place in the world, and people will be roughly as smart and as stupid as we've ever been.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Finally Having a Thought Longer Than a Tweet

Can't promise it will be any good, though.

I finished A Visit From the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan the other night. I'm becoming such an old lady that I promptly began referring to it as The Geek Squad, until Mr. Scobie reminded me that that is actually a commercial service provided by a major electronics chain and not a Pulitzer-prize winning novel. And why is it P-p winning? If it is truly the best fiction book written this year, then I definitely don't feel bad for not having read the others.

Goon Squad isn't bad, per se. It just isn't memorable, or novel. It's structured like a set of short stories which are entangled by shared characters and referenced situations (i.e. something that happens in one chapter/story will be referred to in another). The styles of the stories differ, as does the voice - one of the better ones is actually a Power Point presentation by a 12-year-old. Which is adorable and brilliant, right? But let me ask you something: would any of the following writers ever have written a Power Point presentation to get at the loveliest denouement of their novel: Steinbeck, Hemingway, Bellow, Roth? How about Jane Austen pr Joyce Carol Oates? How about Judy Fracking Blume? No, they would not have done that. Why? Because they are masters of voice and narrative and don't have to resort to trickery and stylishness and something that seems vaguely like magical realism but is really just spacy, lazy omniscience.

This is all the rage now. The "good" books are all jump-cut and we are expected to be kept off-base by switching stories and narratives. This is why I didn't like (and didn't finish) Cloud Atlas. It was too precious that it was a set of nesting stories. Ditto The Imperfectionists: although better written than Goon Squad, it took way too long to begin weaving its stories together. Hell, since I didn't finish that either, it maybe never did.

I want to be told long, involved character-driven stories. I don't even mind if they are, in fact, magical realist. Or scifi. Take Infinite Jest. I've decided IJ is probably science fiction. That's okay with me. It has a consistent style, strong characters, limited enough in number to be really engrossing, a distant but familiar world where politics and technology are ours, magnified. And the subplots are woven together, not mashed up or folded in on eachother without actually touching.

Why am I going on like this? I'm annoyed that I have nothing to read, and that maybe the books that I should be reading are the ones I had already written off. It's also possible that I am jealous of these writers. I have this sense that I could tell a better story but fear that I can't. Or won't.

15 Seconds of My 15 Minutes of Fame

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

I had the distinct pleasure of getting to sing The Day that Paddy Murphy Died to my kids in the car this morning. They were baffled. It put me in the mind of this, from Season 1 and Season 5 of The Wire. (Profanity, so don't watch if that's not your bag).



Saturday, March 12, 2011

Some Thoughts on Wisconsin and the Labor Movement

Those of you who know me well may wonder why I am not on the ramparts (at least rhetorically) about the Wisconsin labor war that has reminded people that collective bargaining is actually controversial and necessary. Don't get me wrong: I think that workers' rights to join unions, collectively bargain or otherwise join together for their mutual aid and benefit, is fundamental. Freedom of association, speech, to contract - it's there in the U.S. Constitution. I recommend you read Section 1 of the National Labor Relations Act. The United Nation's recognize these as inalienable human rights; this puts the Wisconsin legislature on par with Colombia and China, where workers are deprived of these rights, and activists are subject to aggression by the state.

And/so/but what? What do the unions have to do with all this? What do the unions, as the legal institutions charged with enforcing these rights (rather than the government), have to offer in furtherance of collective bargaining rights? Even if the right side ultimately prevails in this war- and even if Scott Walker was using the budget shortfall as a Trojan horse for the deprivation of these rights - many state and local governments are hamstrung financially by their collectively bargained pension and healthcare obligations.

I'll be blunt: unions have been part of the problem. And workers aren't really buying what unions are selling. Unions blame a range of factors for their organizing and public image problems: bad labor and immigration laws ("if we just pass EFCA!"), dirty employer tricks, the proliferation of individual rights, worker fear, weak Democrats, etc. etc. The fact is, unions had it much harder at the turn of the century. No laws or laws criminalizing unions, actual violence against workers, no political power. But people wanted collective bargaining power (not unions per se) and they were willing to stand up for it, the way folks in Wisconsin are today.

So what can unions do about it? I don't claim to know the answer. But I have some ideas. First of all, unions need to change the way they offer services to their members. Currently, unions assign staff based on their members' employer. These people are responsible for knowing all of the collective bargaining agreements with each employer, and enforcing the agreements with grievances. They might also collect dues or do political fundraising, and might know a little bit about their members' benefits. Some unions also have an external organizing staff that is trying to organize new members. Staff are chronically stretched, and are expected to have a super-human range of skills (legal advocacy, negotiations, employee benefits, counseling, organizing, political skills, communications skills) with hardly any staff development opportunities. In reality, 80-90% of their time is spent dealing with 2% of their members, "the squeaky wheels" who have grievances pending. Union staff take their frustrations out on the employers they interact with. The "Employer" becomes the cause of all their problems. They associate their work with the problems of their members vis a vis their employer, and never consider the underlying work, or industry itself. They also fail to advocate for their silent majority of members, who have a diminishing sense of the value their union brings to them.

Unions need to organize themselves differently. They should have advocates who litigate grievances, negotiators who bargain all contracts, employee benefit specialists, political departments who advocate for legislation and regulations that benefit both workers - in their work - and their industry, and external organizers. They should have extensive training and education departments committed to upgrading worker skills based on the latest technology (rather than fighting it). Each of these departments would offer services to union members without regard to their employer, and would regularly confer with one another about their industry norms, standards and future.

This wouldn't fix everything, but it isn't lipstick either. Until unions take responsibility for the things they can control, they aren't going to be perceived as relevant to most American workers. I wouldn't want to join an organization which claims to be (or seems to be) powerless about the very problems about which I seek its counsel and protection, either. (I say this as a member of the Washington-Baltimore Newspaper Guild, Communications Workers of America, Local 32035)

I've tried to focus these thoughts on areas where unions are solely responsible (internal bureaucracy/governance). But there are other areas where unions are, or could be, jointly responsible. Public pension investment, for example. A co-worker yesterday asked me, rhetorically, "Who thought it was a good idea to invest public pension dollars solely in the private sector, without government regulation? Why didn't the unions stand up and say, there needs to be a framework for how this is invested? It is the public's trust but it's governed by Wall Street." Failing to raise that question soon after the Taft-Hartley Act was passed (or any time before the Great Recession) is a factor in pensions becoming a huge liability for public employers. Wall Street treated pension funds like slush funds in ways that no state treasury could ever be abused.

In a similar vein, why are mandatory subjects of bargaining limited to wages, hours and working conditions? Why are unions NOT required to bargain about industrial and employer issues? If an employer has a problem, they currently solve it in a vaccuum without any input from the union other than (1) don't lay off our members or (2) don't cut our wages/benefits. What if an employer said, "Hey union, look at this pile-of-shit problem I have. It's yours, too. You must solve it with me." This actually happens on the boards of some Taft-Hartley benefit plans and in some labor management partnerships (and some other countries) but by and large, unions are like petulant teenagers, grieving everything and demanding bigger allowances. Outside of apprentice programs (operated separately from unions), very little thought is given to the state of the workers' crafts or the state of the industry in which they labor.

Scott Walker and the state of Ohio have actually played this wrong. By trying to eliminate collective bargainig, they've reminded workers of what they wanted all along. If Walker had demanded that the unions be jointly accountable for Wisconsin's budget problems and had them sit at the table, he either would have had a partner in solving his problems or he would have been able to demonstrate that the unions are incapable of true collective bargaining. The only party that loses that gamble is the unions themselves. . . .

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Bummer

This from a local listserv: "Anyone know where to buy Bisquick-Gluten-Free (a relatively new product) around here?  Our baseball team is gluten-free, dairy free and chocolate-free, and I’m up first on snack!  (Stuck out at Whole Foods, Berkeley Bowl…)"

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Monday, February 07, 2011

3 hours well-spent

I need someone to admit that my homemade reusable snack bags are adorable, so that I can admit that they are probably not functional

Saturday, February 05, 2011

The Uber Taunt

On the day before the Super Bowl, my 4 year old says to his father: "Who's winning the Super Bowl?"

"Nobody. The game isn't until tomorrow," says Mr. Scobie.

"So you don't even know who's winning?!" says the kid in his most sarcastic voice.

This is on top of both kids being basically nonplussed that the Pats lost 3 weeks ago, and claiming that they will be rooting for the Steelers tomorrow.

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Good Time for a Change

We watched The Town last night. Good movie. Highly recommended. Heist movie that transcends the conventional genre. Better than The Departed. Etc. Etc.

No, I mean it. It was this good. For 18 years, I've been in the Matt Damon camp. I've felt highly certain that if he'd met me before he met the Italian bartender, she'd still be tending bar. But Ben Affleck's performance + Affleck's excellent directing + Affleck's attractive similarity to my husband means: Ben > Matt. I know; I can't believe it either.

Here are the only two pieces of cognitive dissonance in the movie: (1) the car chase through the North End that appears not to result in fatalities (but is still awesome) and (2) the lack of Muffin Top on the townie girl played by Blake Lively. Where does an Oxy addict get abs like that?

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Catching Up on Those New Year's Resolutions

A funny conversation that I had recently caused me to go check my 2010 New Year's resolutions, and with a month left in the year, I can tell you, there's no way I can get back on track. I'm not sure which one if most off-track, but the only one I am going to comment on is the book one. I committed to read one new book each month, and the only books I can be sure I've read are: Freedom, I'm Down, Squirrel Meets Chipmunk and The Angel's Game. I didn't finish the last two, but I only have one chapter left in Squirrel so there's a chance I will pull through. I've already reviewed Freedom.

I want to speak briefly about I'm Down. It's a memoir by Mishna Wolff, who was mainly raised by her father, a white man who believed, or at least acted as though he believed, that he was Black. To his core. Her evidence of that her father held this belief is entirely demonstrated in recounting how he *acted* Black, since his voice in the book is absent except for when he's yelling at her or being proud of her athletic prowess. I don't know if those are things that Black Men are "known" to do or not, and she doesn't claim that they are. But she also doesn't claim that they AREN'T. She mostly shows her dad out of work, playing dominoes, cadging beers and rooting for her at athletic events, until he is emasculated by his very sexy younger (employed) wife. And then Wolff claims that her dad thinks he's Black, and I was left with the feeling that she was just applying racial stereotypes to her dad, instead of pointing out that White Men can be irresponsible, poor, loving, cowardly, etc etc. just like everyone else. Or maybe she was pointing it out, very subtlely. Very very subtlely.

Now, I don't actually think Wolff is racist at all (or rather, I don't think she is any MORE affected by racial stereotypes than the rest of us). In fact, being racist is a charge leveled against her by her Black stepmother, and it is devastating to her. And she examines that charge, and decides that it is code for other things that aren't racism, like she's ambitious and opportunistic and resentful and disconnected from the family as her father imagines it should be. But it could also be a little bit of racism. Later, she does seem to acknowledge that a lot about her life was poverty, and not race. I wish that the story of her reconciliationas an adult - with her father, with her (racial or class) identity - was in the book, rather than ending in the voice of her young teen years.

I don't want to sound overly harsh. One reason is, this book was recommended by friends, who felt that it was written in a similar style to mine. And I agree with them. The fault with her writing, and mine, is that it often elides certain points which seem so obvious to make that we actually fail to do so. With a little bit of thought, I "get" Wolff. I just wonder what I'm missing.

Monday, November 22, 2010

This Helps

As you can probably tell from 2 posts ago, I've been feeling a little glum lately. This helps. I'm now trying to think of a mistake I can admit making so that I can post it on that site. It's a little embarassing how few of my mistakes can be shared without me feeling awful. I guess that is the point. At least it's not an embarassing awful foot-in-mouth disaster that is making me feel glum. So I've got that going for me.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Dick Van Dyke Called, He Wants The Conch Shell Back

Just when I had given up hope about ever blogging about anything wierd ever again, Joan Baez fell out of a tree. "I sleep in a tree all summer long." True? False? Don't know. Stupid? Yes.

This isn't even the wierdest celebrity news of the month, since Dick Van Dyke was rescued by porpoises when he passed out on his surf board and drifted out to sea. I'm not interested enough to speculate wildly beyond "alcohol vs. dementia" here, but I do wonder what else is out there, celebrity-wise.

I guess this is what we have to look forward to, with the descendence of the Baby Boomers. Van Dyke is older than that, but he's really just a harbinger. Or is it a bellweather? Anyway. Whereas he was once on the cutting edge of TV, I fear he is now on the cutting edge of elderly celebrity conduct. Betty White has lulled everyone, with her sharp comic timing, into thinking she's the norm. But really, Sean Young is the norm. Possibly even Margot Kidder is the norm.

Whoever the norm is (Shaq?), it is not going to be pretty. Or rather, it might be pretty, but it will certainly be crazy.

Should I Keep This Up?

National Blogging Month really makes a gal focus on the important things. Like, should I keep blogging? I haven't really felt inclined most days. Plus, I went back to the beginning of this blog, and it was way better then. It used to have silly themes and random stories, and attempted at originality. Barely any of that exists now. Most of my snarky one-off comments have moved over to Facebook and Twitter, or I just keep it to myself because I am too worried that someone I work with will find this blog and it will be a disaster for my career. As I "mature" (and I mean that in a bad way), I worry more and more that this blog might be a platform for some terrible self-destructive revelation that triggers my downfall. Not like I am a big celebrity or anything, but that happened to a guy I tangentially knew, so I am paranoid. Add in the fact that I barely ever read new books, watch new movies* or buy new music - much less stalk the Montgomery Advertiser or Nelson Marans - and there is practically nothing to say.

Here's what I thought I would do. I thought I would do a poll of my various options at this point and let you, the readers, be the judge of this blog's fate. But then I decided that I was too lazy to figure out how to add a poll, so instead, I will just list the options, and you can comment on them. Be aware, if I don't get comments from certain people, I will assume that this blog has lost its core readership, and I may not continue it.

1. Stop blogging; I follow you on Facebook.
2. Stop blogging; I follow you on Twitter.
3. Stop blogging at this website; I will follow you onto a software platform that is easier to post to.
4. Keep blogging here. **
5. If you get fired from this or any future job because of any content or revelations on this blog, I promise to employ you at your last rate of pay ad finitem to continue this blog.
6. Yo no leer en Engles.

* We watched Scott Pilgrim vs. the World last night, and I really liked it. Best line from a tertiary character, "Their first album is so much better than their first album."
** You will need to add some vaguely flattering remarks if you vote for this one, as I am feeling very down on the quality of the blog at this time.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Baffled By the Limits of Social Networking

Last night I blogged about how odd it is that my college development office hasn't discovered Google. This evening, I had a nice night catching up with my mom about her various lifelong friends and their adult children. This is the verbal equivalent of reading Christmas card letters; the whole time you are thinking, "Whu?" but your mouth is saying, "NO! And then what did you say?!" because you can't believe so-and-so works at ESPN, or got divorced, or is Christian, or missed a funeral of a family member. (It's best when it's all 4, but that literally never happens. It would be a Gossip Utopia).

Once my mom left, though, I had to check Facebook to see whether any of these folks are plugged into the matrix. The overall picture I get is that Facebook's 500 million members do not include the offspring of my mother's friends. Which would make them the perfect match for my college's development office's Lost List. They are truly lost, I think. Except that my mom probably has their address.

Anyway, I am not planning on going to my college reunion, but I wonder if I should host a reunion of my virtual memory, where I invite all the people I think I know, based solely on the fact that I've been kept apprised of their lives these past 35 years. It's a stretch to get them to travel out here, but I am sure we can find a central location in the Midwest that would suit us all just fine. God knows what we'd talk about. No, literally, God probably does know. Most of my mom's very long-time friends have some religious affiliation, so I am sure we are either a lopsidedly heathen crew or most of them are itinerant preachers. Either way, God is probably keeping tabs.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Development Office Fail

We got a letter today about our 15th reunion from college. On the back of the letter is a Lost List - people for whom the college cannot find any contact information. A number of the names are completely new to me, but two of them are good friends of mine. They are both on Facebook, and at least one of them is also friends with the Reunion Co-Chair. A Google search of one of them turns up almost 600 references to her specifically, as well as her company and her political contributions. Google searchs of other classmates result in LinkedIn profiles as the first result.

Does the Development Office not know this? Or is there some ethical issue with them doing any kind of research to find these individuals? There are only about 65 "missing" people; one of the reunion co-chairs could make short work of this in an evening, with an open bottle of wine beside their computer. I'm tempted to track them all down, except that I have no intention of going to a reunion or contributing even in-kind to my alma mater (except for glowing updates to the alumni magazine demonstrating the superiority of my friends). In other words, I want to find them all, but I don't want to help the college find them. But if I did the research for any purpose other than for the college, it would be insanely creepy and wierd.

And those of you who are wondering who is on the list, one is a female living in Britain who has a political resume, and the other is a male living in Chicago who is from western New York, and is probably reading this blog. And wanting to stay lost.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

What's Up?

Hey homeys. Or is it homies? Whatever. I'm just over here revelling in my homemade bolognese sauce, which is fully awesome, and not worrying myself about blogging. Other things I am "worrying" about: Thanksgiving dinner.

Today's NYT Dining section threw me for a loop. Now I've gotta cut the whole bird up before I cook it? What do I look like, Sam the butcher bringing Alice the meat? Or else buy a digital thermometer? Where was Bobby Flay with this nonsense back in 2006 when the NYT did their last decent turkey recipe, and I only had to make little foil hats for the turkey's "breasts"?

I'm hosting T-giving this year for my sister and her in-laws, and possibly A Very Special Guest. My sister is extremely pregnant and I am hoping for some madcap shit whereby the brussel sprouts induce labor. Panic and hilarity WILL ensue. Our family actually has a lot of experience with Thanksgiving drama: my stepsister's daughter was born basically in the way that I've just described. And, before I was born, my great grandfather died on Thanksgiving morning and my gram and her mother made dinner regardless for the waiting hordes (6 kids, etc). In case you are wondering where I get my aggressive practicality, legend has it that my grandmother said to her mother, as the funeral director took her father's body out of her house, "what do we do now?" and my great grandmother said, "Well, make dinner. Everyone's got to be hungry."

And speaking of family, my cousin Kate has a new installation in LA that you should check out, if only by visiting this website.

Monday, November 08, 2010

The young activist

Our seven year old is presently engrossed by sharks. Engrossed doesn't cover it actually. Obsessed really. And all he wanted was a set of shark jaws. He didn't even want them as a gift; he decided he would buy them with his own money. For three days straight, he requested paying jobs to finance this purchase. He quickly went from $17 in savings to the needed $24 by sweeping the walk, emptying the trash and the dishwasher (separately), putting away his clothes, and other things that probably weren't worth the quarters I was doling out.

When I realized that this purchase was about to become a reality, I tried another tactic. How about adopting a shark instead? He liked this idea but offered two friendly amendments: 1) let's do both and 2) let's pay to tag a shark instead. That costs about $2000. The idea fizzled because he wasn't willing to wait to collect the adoption sum before buying the jaw.

(In case you think I am a wuss who can't stand up to a 7 year old, save it. I can't. This child is relentless.)

My next approach was to inform him that the jaws are only harvested as a byproduct of awful shark finning. I got a blase look that told me he was pleased that they were using more than one part of the shark before they threw it back.

We not only bought the jaw, but he got another for his birthday from certain loving family members. And then a co-worker found one in her attic and gave it to him. Now that we own 3 shark jaws, he has suddenly decided that finning is an evil which he will personally battle. After proposing a series of gruesome actions we could take against the Chinese and Thai governments (whom he believes are responsible for failing to outlaw finning), he decided that our country needs to take action. How, then, can a seven year old seek redress of his grievances? "Barack Obama needs to stop them!"

Let me translate: "Dear President Obama: Can you help us from from people stop finning Love Liam Dooley". I sent a helpful translation on a post-it note just in case someone is motivated to read this letter. I will let you know if we get a response. Good luck getting a shark jaw of your own after this!

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Can't Pull It Off

I'm too rusty to post anything new tonight. It was a crappy day - jury duty, a flooded kitchen, a monumental temper tantrum (not gonna say who it was. . . ) (it was mine). It's Thursday night, which means there is television on. So I'm gonna pass on trying to be funny or smart today. Check the archives for something hilarious or insightful. KTHXBY.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

November 3 Blog Post

Woo hoo! I've made it three days in a row!

After you read this (likely to be underwhelming) post, I highly encourage you to read this post by my neighbor. It's really thought-provoking. How do we raise our kids not just with the right values in the moral sense, but in the civic sense? And I don't mean that like, making sure they vote and don't shirk jury duty. But how do we help them understand themselves and one another as citizens? What do we mean when we want them to be proud to be an American? And how do we fit it in with the other minute details we are trying to impart. I spend so much time trying to get my kids to put their napkin on their lap, I can barely imagine the luxury of answering these questions. But they are good ones.

I am particularly keen on parenting today. It's my older son's 7th birthday, and I can hardly believe it. Here he is when he turned 3.



And here is he is with his little brother yesterday:

Really really really hard to believe. How do I (we) turn these little Greasers into grown men? Still beyond my comprehension.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

November 2 Blog Post

Again, I can't think of a title, but I have plenty to blog about.

Feeling pretty vindicated on my Nevada senate analysis, even if the House is going Republican.


Terrifying, isn't it? It's worse than just my high school uniform. It's my face transformed into Cathy, wearing my high school uniform. One thing I do like is the verisimilitude of this nasty sweater to my uniform sweater. Although this sweater is threadbare enough to be see-through, I didn't actually wear it in high school. My high school sweater was bulletproof polyester, and was "embroidered" with the school name over one breast. I am wearing men's boxers under the skirt - a trend abhorred by Sister Patricia and a num I can only remember to be named Sister Puella (Latin word for "girl") because that is how she addressed us, "Puella, read the next paragraph A-Loud."

And speaking of nuns, and this is an awkward transition, but since it's also Dia de Los Muertos, I thought I'd share a few pictures of my favorite deceased. The first shows my grandparents at a Halloween party - yes, my Pop is the nun and my Gram is the monsignor - and the second shows my grandmother with her older sister, Rita. Aka Sister Immacula, sans habit. All three of these folks are among the most influential in my life. Viva Marie! Viva John! Viva Rita!