By Comparison, the Responses Seem Sane

I am sure you were all dying to know what the BPN posters below got in response to their queries. Appropriately, Ms. Eco-friendly Shelf Liner got no responses at all. I breathe a sigh of relief that we, as a community, have not gone that far out of the bounds of reality yet. The Mad Milker got this single response - tame in comparison to her request, despite the reference to bovine homeopathy:

I saw this message in an earlier newsletter and hopefully by now someone has steered you (no pun intended) to Strauss creamery milk (in the glass jug). The cows are raised up in W. Marin and given only homeopathy, etc... Remember that cows NEED to be milked twice a day and machine milking is the way to go in the 21st C. You need to shake up the Vit. D. milk to homogenize it--no child enjoys a slimy cream layer on their glass of milk. Good luck and congrats on trying to get your kid the very best in milk products Milk Lover

The jury is still out on The Sunscreen Scrooge.

The Marin cows thing reminds me of a story: My aunt is a big fan of her Shelties but she and her husband travel a lot for work. She once reported, without a hint of doubt or irony, that she had found a dog kennel to board her beloved Bailey where, for an extra $15/day, the dog would be taken for "a walk in the meadow." My aunt thought it was the deal of the century until someone (everyone) pointed out that there was no possible way to confirm that the walk had occurred. In the 10-15 years since, my aunt is asked whether her dogs have gotten their walks in the meadow, their steaks tartare, their trips to the symphony, etc. Haar har.*

*Family stories aren't really that funny outside of the family, are they?